Chapter 8: Communication and Relational Dynamics PowerPoint Presentation to accompany Looking Out, Looking In, Tenth Edition Chapter 8: Communication and Relational Dynamics Presentation prepared by Dr. Michael Pearson, Gretchen Gill, and Tim Scanlon of West Chester University Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. Thomson Learning™ is a trademark used herein under license. For permission to use material from this text, contact us by: Phone: 1-800-730-2214 Fax: 1-800-730-2215 Web: www.thomsonrights.com Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. 1

Communication and Relational Dynamics CHAPTER 8 Communication and Relational Dynamics Copyright © 2002 Thomson Learning, Inc. 2

Communication and Relational Dynamics Why We Form Relationships Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Self-Disclosure in Relationships Alternatives to Self-Disclosure 3

Why We Form Relationships Attraction Similarity and complementarity Reciprocal Attraction Competence Disclosure Proximity 4

Why We Form Relationships Intimacy Dimensions of Intimacy Masculine and Feminine Intimacy Styles Cultural Influences on Intimacy The Limits of Intimacy 5

Why We Form Relationships Rewards Social Exchange Theory We often seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them. Rewards – Costs = Outcomes 6

Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Developmental Models Relational Maintenance - communication aimed at keeping relationships operating smoothly and satisfactorily Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating Bonding 7

Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Developmental Models Differentiating Circumscribing Stagnating Avoiding Terminating 8

Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Dialectical Perspectives Dialectical tensions - conflicts that arise when two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously Connection vs. Autonomy Predictability vs. Novelty Openness vs. Privacy 9

Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Dialectical Perspectives Strategies for Managing Dialectical Tensions: Denial Disorientation Alternation Balance Integration Recalibration Reaffirmation

Models of Relational Development and Maintenance Characteristics of Relational Development and Maintenance Relationships are constantly changing Movement is always to a new place 10

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Self-Disclosure - the process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and that would not normally be known by others 11

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Degrees of Self- Disclosure Social penetration model Breadth Depth 12

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Degrees of Self- Disclosure Cliches - “How are you” or “We will have to get together soon” Facts - “I’m practically engaged,” when meeting a stranger Opinions - “I am against abortion” or “Cheesecake stinks” Feelings - “Tell me what’s on your mind” 13

Self-Disclosure in Relationships A Model of Self-Disclosure Johari Window open area- information of which both you and the other person are aware blind area- information of which you are unaware but of which the other person is aware hidden area- information you know but will not share unknown area- information unknown to you and others 14

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Characteristics of Self-Disclosure Self-disclosure usually occurs in dyads. Self-disclosure occurs incrementally. Relatively few transactions involve high levels of self-disclosure. Self-disclosure is relatively scarce. Self-disclosure usually occurs in the context of positive relationships. 15

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Reasons for Self-Disclosure Catharsis Self-Clarification Self-Validation Reciprocity Identity Management Relationship Maintenance and Enhancement Social Control Manipulation 16

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Guidelines for Self-Disclosure Is the other person important to you? Is the risk of disclosing reasonable? Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at hand? Are the amount type of disclosure appropriate? 17

Self-Disclosure in Relationships Guidelines for Self-Disclosure Will the effect be constructive? Is the self-disclosure clear and understandable? Is the disclosure reciprocated? 18

Alternatives to Self-Disclosure Lying White Lie - is defined (at least by the teller) as unmalicious, or even helpful to the person to whom it is told Reasons for Lying 1. To save face 2. To avoid tension/conflict 3. To guide social interaction 4. To expand or reduce relationships 5. To gain power Effects of Lies - What are the consequences of discovering that you’ve been lied to? 19

Alternatives to Self-Disclosure Equivocating Equivocal language - Ambiguous language that has two or more equally plausible meanings. The value of equivocation: It spares the receiver from embarrassment. It can save face for both the sender and receiver. It provides an alternative to lying. Hinting A hint seeks to get a desired response from another person. 20

Alternatives to Self-Disclosure The Ethics of Evasion Some argue that the morality of a speaker’s motives for lying ought to be judged, not the lie itself, and others ask whether the effects of a lie will be worth the deception. 21