Ten Habits Highly Healthy Homes of

Habit 9 Speak The Truth Speak The Truth Exodus 20:16

Do not testify falsely against your neighbor.

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Frank W. Abagnale

New York Times

Washington Post

Situation Ethics Situation Ethics

Proverbs 6: These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: 17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood,

Proverbs 6: A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, 19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.

Hebrews 6:18 … it is impossible for God to lie.

Psalm 31:5 Into Your hand I commit my spirit; You have redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.

John 14:6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”

John 4:24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

John 8:44 For you are the children of your father the Devil, and you love to do the evil things he does. He was a murderer from the beginning and has always hated the truth.

John 8:44 There is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.

Ephesians 4:25 We are part of the same body. Stop lying and start telling each other the truth.

Colossians 3:9 And stop lying to each other. You have given up your old way of life with its habits.

Psalm 101:7 I will not allow deceivers to serve me, and liars will not be allowed to enter my presence.

Lying is simply an intention to mislead When you tell a half-truth, you’re telling a whole lie!

You can lie by falsifying information or you can lie by withholding information

Why We Lie Why We Lie

The Cruel Lie The Cruel Lie 1 1

Motivation: Resentment M o t i v a t i o n : R e s e n t m e n t

This is the kind of lie you tell to get revenge This is the kind of lie you tell to get revenge

GOSSIP the unnecessary bearing of information GOSSIP the unnecessary bearing of information

Before you speak … THINKTHINK T H I N K

Is it …. THINKTHINK THINKTHINK rue?

Before you speak … Is it …. THINKTHINK THINKTHINK rue? elpful? rue? elpful?

Before you speak … Is it …. THINKTHINK THINKTHINK rue? elpful? nspiring? rue? elpful? nspiring?

Before you speak … Is it …. THINKTHINK THINKTHINK rue? elpful? nspiring? ecessary? rue? elpful? nspiring? ecessary?

Before you speak … Is it …. THINKTHINK THINKTHINK rue? elpful? nspiring? ecessary? ind? rue? elpful? nspiring? ecessary? ind?

Proverbs 26:20 Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

Proverbs 17:9 Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends.

The Cowardly Lie The Cowardly Lie 2 2

Motivation: Fear M o t i v a t i o n : F e a r

This is the kind of lie you tell to escape consequences This is the kind of lie you tell to escape consequences

Proverbs 29:25 Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but to trust the Lord means safety.

The Conceited Lie The Conceited Lie 3 3

Motivation: Insecurity M o t i v a t i o n : I n s e c u r i t y

This is the kind of lie you tell to impress others This is the kind of lie you tell to impress others

Proverbs 10:19 Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!

The Calculated Lie The Calculated Lie 4 4

Motivation: Selfishness M o t i v a t i o n : S e l f i s h n e s s

This is the kind of lie you tell to manipulate others This is the kind of lie you tell to manipulate others

Proverbs 26:28 Watch out for anyone who tells lies and flatters — they are out to get you.

Romans 16:18 Such people are not serving Christ our Lord; they are serving their own personal interests. By smooth talk and glowing words they deceive innocent people.

The Convenient Lie The Convenient Lie 5 5

Motivation: Laziness M o t i v a t i o n : L a z i n e s s

This is the kind of lie you tell to avoid involvement This is the kind of lie you tell to avoid involvement

Psalm 34: Do any of you want to live a life that is long and good? 13 Then watch your tongue! Keep your lips from telling lies!

ways we must speak the truth ways we must speak the truth 4 4

1 1 tell the truth completely

Proverbs 10:10 Someone who holds back the truth causes trouble.

Proverbs 28:23 In the end, people appreciate frankness more than flattery.

2 2 tell the truth consistently

Ephesians 4:15 Let our lives lovingly express the truth in all things – speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly.

Proverbs 11:3 … people who can’t be trusted are destroyed by their own dishonesty.

3 3 tell the truth lovingly

Ephesians 4:29 Speak only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

When you shoot an arrow, dip it in honey first. - Old Arab Proverb When you shoot an arrow, dip it in honey first. - Old Arab Proverb

A.People change easier and faster when you speak the truth in a spirit of love. Changing Others

B.People always perceive truth without love as an attack on them, which causes them to resist it and become defensive. Changing Others

Ask yourself … Who am I trying to benefit? Ask yourself … Who am I trying to benefit? Changing Others

Absolute statements and exaggerations always POLARIZE conversations and PROHIBIT constructive communication. Changing Others

Real communication + Real determination = Progress Real communication + Real determination = Progress Changing Others

Proverbs 13:17 Reliable communication permits progress.

4 4 tell the truth tactfully

Proverbs 12:18 Sharp words cut like a sword, but words of wisdom heal.

HONESTY means that everything you say must be true, not that everything true must be said HONESTY means that everything you say must be true, not that everything true must be said

TIMING is everything in solving problems in a marriage or in a family TIMING is everything in solving problems in a marriage or in a family

Ecclesiastes 8:6 There is a right time and a right way to do everything …

The beginning of honesty is the confession of dishonesty

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

ReputationCharacter …is what others think I am …is what I really am …is what I am when others are looking …is what I am when no one is looking …will last for a lifetime …will last for eternity …is what impresses people …is what impresses God

Matthew 12:34 … for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

Habit 9: Speak The Truth Habit 9: Speak The Truth