September 2014 David Letiecq and Katelyn Regan

What is the key to success? Table Activity: Considering all the qualities on the pieces of paper: 1.Choose the 5 qualities that your group believes are the greatest predictors of success. 2.Rank the 5 that you chose

Definitions RESILIENCE: A dynamic process in which an individual overcomes significant adversity, usually in the form of a life changing event or difficult personal circumstances. It can be conceptualized as an adaptive response to a challenging situation.

Definitions GRIT: Involves maintaining goal focused effort for extended periods of time, often while facing adversity but does not require a critical incident. Importantly, grit is conceptualized as a trait while resilience is a dynamic process.

How GRITTY are you?

5 Characteristics of Grit: COURAGE “Courage is like a muscle; it needs to be exercised daily” Managing fear of failure and vulnerability Valuable lessons come from being defeated If we take away competition and opportunities for failure, we take away opportunities for our kids to grow

5 Characteristics of Grit: CONSCIENTIOUSNESS Careful and vigilant with a strong desire to do it well Dependable = self-controlled, efficient, organized Achievement oriented = works hard, to the best of their ability, and completes the task

5 Characteristics of Grit: FOLLOW THROUGH Long Term Goals and Endurance We need lots and lots of practice (10,000 hours – 20 hours/week over 10 years) Practice must have a purpose: a goal

5 Characteristics of Grit: RESILIENCE Belief that one can find meaningful purpose in life Belief that one can influence one’s surroundings and outcome of events Belief that positive and negative experiences will lead to learning and growth Optimism + Confidence + Creativity

5 Characteristics of Grit: STRIVING FOR EXCELLENCE Excellence vs. Perfection “Excellence is an attitude not an end game” Perfectionism cultivates barriers to success

How can you foster grit in your children?

RESILIENCE: 3 essential themes 1.Unconditional love is the bedrock of resilience because it creates security. 1.Children meet adult expectations, for better or for worse. 1.Children watch what we do more than they listen to what we say.

The 7 C’s for Building Resilience COMPETENCE: The ability to handle situations effectively. CONFIDENCE: The solid belief in one's own abilities. CONNECTION: Close ties to family, friends, school, and community give children a sense of security and values that prevent them from seeking destructive alternatives to love and attention. American Academy of Pediatrics (www2.aap.org)

The 7 C’s for Building Resilience CHARACTER: A fundamental sense of right and wrong that helps children make wise choices, contribute to the world, and become stable adults. CONTRIBUTION: When children realize that the world is a better place because they are in it, they will take actions and make choices that improve the world. They will also develop a sense of purpose to carry them through future challenges. American Academy of Pediatrics (www2.aap.org)

The 7 C’s for Building Resilience COPING: Children who learn to cope effectively with stress are better prepared to overcome life's challenges. CONTROL: When children realize that they can control their decisions and actions, they're more likely to know that they have what it takes to bounce back. American Academy of Pediatrics (www2.aap.org)

Related to your specific C, discuss: Potential parenting pitfalls Ways parents can promote the C Report out: 3 pitfalls, 3 ways to promote your C

CONTROL extended: The ABC Model of Resilience According to decades of research, the biggest influence on resilience: Our cognitive style (the way we think). –Myth: Adversity leads to consequence –Reality: Adversity leads to beliefs leads to consequence Children can also learn to control their thoughts and beliefs (in addition to their decisions and actions) Renee Jain, blog contributor on

Grit, Resilience & the TCK Experience Community Examples –Death of a Significant Individual –Terror Attack Family Examples –Family members in different locations –Separation and divorce –The reluctant or resistant family member –Families on the move

Grit, Resilience & the TCK Experience Individual Examples –Families on the move –Friends who move away –Repatriating and reverse culture shock

How can we help develop grit in our students? Model it! Set child-specific expectations (personal best) Celebrate – the process and the success Avoid praising them for being “smart” Allow for: –Frustration –Failure –Disappointment –Boredom Provide time for reflection Provide challenges

"Which experiences do we give kids to get them in the direction of more grit and not less?” - Duckworth.

COMING UP… BOOK CLUB I’d Listen to My Parents if They’d Just Shut Up by Anthony E. Wolf, PhD Wednesday, Oct 8 – Intro, Chapters 1 & 2 8:30 – 10:00 a.m. Library on Pudong Campus COUNSELOR COFFEE Wednesday, Nov 26 9:30 – 11:30 a.m. Green Court I, Function Room Jin Qiao