Faithfulness in Service A code for personal behaviour and the practice of pastoral ministry by clergy and church workers. A code based on Faithfulness in Service as adopted by the General Synod, October 2004, and last revised by the General Synod Standing Committee March 2011.

What does a code of conduct give us? Common definitions Common goals A sense of community

Did Jesus talk about a code of conduct? In his teachings he frequently set out standards by which he wished us to live. He was consistent in what he taught. He lived what he taught.

What’s so good about having a code of conduct to live by? To build healthy and safe communities. To create a place where there is honesty and people take responsibility for what they do. To create communities where there is forgiveness, healing and wrongdoing is not ignored. To give us guidelines for our personal behaviour when we are involved in pastoral ministry.

Key Terms pages 6-11 Church Worker means a lay person who is: Licensed or authorised by the Bishop; Employed by a church body and the Code is part of their employment contract; In a position, paid or unpaid, with the authority of the church, e.g. Church warden, member of the parish council, Synod rep.

Key Terms continued Pastoral ministry means the work involved or the situation which exists when a member of the clergy or church worker has the responsibility as part of their role for the wellbeing of others. Individual pastoral ministry means pastoral ministry carried out between a member of the clergy or church worker and one other person, e.g. spiritual direction or counselling.

Putting the Code into Practice We need to make a commitment to try and live by this Code. By following the standards and guidelines consistently clergy and church workers will protect the safety of others and themselves.

Pastoral Relationships pages 11-15 Treat all people with dignity and respect and do not show prejudice Maintain confidentiality Maintain clear boundaries

Boundaries Be clear about the requirements of your role. Be aware of your skills and experience. When in doubt, ask advice. Avoid pastoral relationships with those with whom you have a close personal relationship. Be aware of the power balance in relationships, e.g. between an adult and a child.

Leadership and Power When you are appointed to a leadership position in the parish, you are entrusted with the authority to influence other people. This influence over people enables you to lead, guide, teach and encourage but it also places you in a position of power. To be good leaders and have good pastoral relationships we need to be aware of the dangers of this imbalance in power. Talk about giving people voice, not bullying or harassing, treating people with dignity and respect, listening to their point of view, agree to disagree. Talk about dangers of raising your voice, about appropriate body language, personal space, asking permission.

Leadership and Power continued It is a sad fact that some leaders abuse this power. The power imbalance in relationships depends on size, experience, knowledge and position. The Code of Conduct provides guidelines and safeguards to ensure we have the right tools to be good leaders. Parishes need to make sure that all those given positions of power or authority use their leadership in a suitable way.

Discussion Can you think of people in your parish who ought not be your principal pastoral carer because the relationship would breach the Code? Why? Can you think of changes to the design/layout of your church offices which may be necessary to make sure that pastoral interviews are conducted in a way that reflects best practice? What should happen if the relationship between a pastoral carer and the person being cared for becomes or looks as if it will become romantic? Q 1 - page 12, 4.14; Q 2 – page 13, 4.30; Q 3 – page 12, 4.15

Children pages 16-30 Children are entitled to be safe and protected. Ministry where children are involved requires absolute trustworthiness. All those involved with children and young people in a parish are required to have the appropriate level of ChildSafe training. Even if you have no programs for children or young people in your parish, please make sure you have read this section in Faithfulness in Service.

Child Protection Children and abuse Indicators of abuse The process of victimisation The impact of child sexual abuse Reporting abuse

Child Abuse An act that endangers a child’s physical or emotional health or development

Types of Abuse Emotional Abuse a situation in which a person repeatedly rejects the child or uses threats to frighten them e.g. name-calling, put-downs or continual coldness to the extent that it significantly damages the child’s physical, social, intellectual or emotional development

Types of Abuse Neglect a situation in which a caregiver fails to provide the child with the basic necessities of life to the extent that the child’s health and development is, or is likely to be significantly harmed

Types of Abuse Physical Abuse a situation in which a child suffers or is likely to suffer significant harm from an injury inflicted by a person

Types of Abuse Sexual Abuse a situation in which a person uses power or authority over a child to involve the child in sexual activity can involve an adult, an adolescent or a child with greater power

Facts and Myths Child abuse only happens in poor and dysfunctional families. Most children are abused by people they know well. Sex offenders are older men. If a child claims to have been abused, it is usually true. Men who sexually abuse boys are homosexual. Most sexual abuse continues over a long period of time and not as a single isolated event. It is only abuse when physical violence is involved. A child only has to tell someone for the abuse to be stopped.

The Process of Victimisation Choosing the victim Grooming

Offence Cycle Pre-offending thinking Negative/positive feelings Fantasy & rehearsal Pretend normality Targeting Grooming Maintain secrecy Offence Guilt & fear

The Impact of Child Sexual Abuse on an individual is influenced by: Age/developmental stage at which abuse began/continued Duration and frequency of abuse Nature of the abuse Closeness of the relationship with the offender Presence or absence of other significant relationships with caring adults Reaction of significant others to the abuse Type and responsiveness of the intervention

Effects of child sexual abuse include: Low self esteem Self hatred Guilt Sense of helplessness Shame Grief Anger Damaged capacity to trust others

Long-term effects of child sexual abuse Sexual dysfunction Higher incidence of homosexuality Chronic anxiety, fear and depression Sleep disturbances Suicide Obesity Eating disorders Alcohol/drug abuse Self harm

Our Reactions Shock Denial Sympathy, pity , desire to help Frustration Anger Distress & anxiety Guilt & self recrimination Blame Sadness & depression Revulsion, horror, disgust Revenge

Responding Sensitively Keep calm Listen carefully Tell the child that you believe them Tell them that it is not their fault Let them know that you will have to tell someone so that they can help stop the abuse. Do not promise that you will not tell anyone. Tell the child that it was a ‘good thing’ that they told you Contact the Director of Professional Standards on 1800 017 286 or Child Protection Document everything

Barriers to Reporting Fear of recrimination Want to give the benefit of the doubt Fear could be wrong Fear of getting involved Feel it is too difficult Feel it will involve more work Feel haven’t enough training to deal with it Responsibility of parents Don’t know what to do Don’t trust the ‘system’ Think reporting is optional

Reasonable Grounds Someone close to the child tells you Indicators lead you to a belief held in good faith Physical signs If you are unsure whether you have reasonable grounds to report, then report

Discussion An applicant for a position of children’s worker presents a CV covering his work since leaving university 10 years earlier, except for 2 of the earlier years. What would you do? A child in your parish tells you that he was sexually abused by an uncle 6 years earlier. How would you respond? A Youth Worker seeks the permission of the Parish Council, of which you are a member, to conduct an overnight bush walk for the church youth group. What do you need to think about? Q 1 – page 20, 5.20; Q 2 - page 18, 5.171 & 5.172; Q 3 – page 21-22, 5.27-41

Personal Behaviour pages 25-27 The personal behaviour and relationships of clergy and church workers have a significant impact on the Church and community because they are a model to others. The Code emphasises the need to be consistent, honest, thoughtful and clear in our relationships with others, as we model Christ.

Discussion Is a calling to Christian ministry ever a justification for neglect of family responsibilities? If you had the task of disciplining another church worker, how would you prepare yourself and what dangers would you strive to avoid? Are there any circumstances when clergy and church workers may be justified in disobeying a law? Q 1 – page 25-26, 6.14 & 6.15: Q 2 – page 25-26, 6.13 & 6.17; see also page 10, 3.9 & 3.10; Q 3 – page 25, 6.2, 6.12

Sexual Conduct pages 28-29 The sexual conduct of clergy and church workers has a significant impact on the Church and the community, especially in the light of past history. Ephesians 5:3-5: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity...because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which is out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” (NIV)

Discussion What should be your guidelines if you intend to make physical contact with another adult? What is the position of the Church about sexual activity for clergy and church workers? Q 1 – page 28, 7.6; Q 2 – page 28, 7.2 & 7.3, then 7.4 & 7.5

Financial Integrity pages 30-31 In both their personal capacity and their pastoral ministry clergy are involved in matters of a financial nature. The ministry of church workers may include financial management. The financial dealings of clergy and church workers have a significant impact on the Church and community.

Discussion What guidelines could you put in place to make sure that the church offering was counted and banked in a responsible way? A substantial gift is offered to you by a person for whom you have pastoral responsibility. What should you do? What would be your response if a person whom you are counselling asked to borrow money from you? Q 1 – page 30, 8.13; Q 2 – page 31, 8.14; Q 3 – page 31, 8.16