Drawing the Line Learning About Relationships Lesson 6

Ground Rules To create a safe environment: Do not use put downs. Be sensitive to others. You have the right to privacy/confidentiality. Use correct terminology. Do not divulge private information. There are no dumb questions. Talk to your parents for more information.

Introduction Today we will be discussing healthy and unhealthy relationships. You will have an opportunity to examine your own values and expectations for relationships. In the 2013 YRBS, 7.4% of 9 th –12 th grade students in SDUSD reported being physically hurt by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the past 12 months. 6.5% were threatened or made to feel unsafe by a person they were going out with.

Class Discussion: “Respectful Relationships” What are some characteristics of respectful relationships? You will review a list of characteristics on the next slide and decide which are most important to you and why. Every relationship may not have all of the characteristics listed; they are goals that both partners should be committed to work towards.

Characteristics of Respectful Relationships We can communicate with each other easily. We take turns talking and listening. We let each other know our limitations. We balance doing things for each other and take care of ourselves. We play around and have fun together and laugh more than we argue. We accept that neither of us is perfect. We enjoy spending time with other friends and family.

Characteristics of Respectful Relationships, Cont. We feel self-confident and supported by one another. We disagree without yelling/insulting. We don’t try to change each other. We don’t have expectations based on the other person’s gender. We trust each other and are honest. We decide together how to spend our time. We take responsibility for our own behavior.

Class Activity: “Behavior Continuum” We are going to review some behaviors and determine if they are respectful or disrespectful. Keep in mind the characteristics of respectful relationships that we just discussed. Imagine you are in a relationship with someone who exhibits the following behaviors and decide if they are RESPECTFUL, DISRESPECTFUL, or if you are UNDECIDED.

Class Activity: “Behavior Continuum” Is it respectful or disrespectful if your partner: Wants to spend all their time with you Gets jealous when you flirt with other people Is concerned about where you go and who you go with Encourages you to use drugs and alcohol Pushes you to be “more masculine” or “more feminine” Posts intimate pictures of you online Has hobbies that don’t include you Grabs your arm during a disagreement

Class Activity: “Behavior Continuum” Is it respectful or disrespectful if your partner: Becomes violent when drinking Pressures you to have sex Has sex with you when you are drunk or passed out Compliments you Always apologizes after getting angry or yelling at you Doesn’t get along with your family or friends Spends time with their friends without you Respects your boundaries around sex

Abusive Relationships In Lesson 1, we talked about how power and control can lead to abuse or coercion in relationships. – –Always disrespectful – –May be abusive and against the law We are going to review different types of abuse and talk about how to prevent it from happening.

Types of Abuse Physical – –Hitting, slapping, grabbing, restraining – –May or may not leave marks Sexual – –Forced touching or rape – –Having sex when someone cannot consent Mental/Emotional – –Criticizing, blaming, threatening – –Ruining someone’s reputation

Preventing Abuse Get to know a person before getting involved. Tell your partner you expect respect. Leave immediately the first time abuse occurs. Tell someone about it and ask for help. Break off the relationship; make sure you are safe. If you observe abuse or know someone who is being abused, tell a parent, counselor or trusted adult.

Summary Each person has a right to relationships that are free from physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Each person should look at their own behavior to make sure it is respectful. If you or someone you know is in a dangerous relationship, tell an adult!