Affair-Proof Your Marriage Proverbs 7:1-5

God-Given Goals of Marriage Procreation, Gen 1:28; 4:1 Purity, Heb 13:4; Gen 2:25; 1 Cor 7:2 Partnership, Gen 2:18, 23-24; 1 Pet 3:7 2

Identify the Problem R ECOGNIZE THE S INS THAT S TRAIN AND D ESTROY M ARRIAGES Pride, Prov 15:25; 28:25 Selfishness, cf. Gal 6:2 Dishonesty, Eph 4:25; Gal 4:16 Infidelity, Heb 13:4; Prov 6:

AFFAIR-PROOF YOUR MARRIAGE 4

Protect Your Marriage! First, know the danger is real, 1 Cor 6:18; 10:8, 12; 15:33; Jas 1:14 Next, fully commit yourself to God and to your spouse, Mal 2:14; Prov 2:16-17 (1 Jno 3:18) Then, combine knowledge and practice, Col 1:9-10 5

Knowledge and Practice “I F YOU KNOW THESE THINGS, BLESSED ARE YOU IF YOU DO THEM ” (J NO 13:17) If knowledge is power, then knowing each other (and yourself) will give you power to excel in your marriage, 1 Peter 3:7 God gave Eve to Adam (and Adam to Eve) to help fulfill needs, Gen 2:18, 24 When our spouse’s needs are not fulfilled there is trouble in paradise! 6

Affair-Proof Your Marriage Her Needs AFFECTION SS 2:6, 10-14; Col 3:19 –Expression of care –Security, protection, comfort & approval (Vital) 1) “You are important to me” 2) “I am concerned with the problems you face” His Needs SEXUAL FULFILLMENT Prov 5:15-20 –Vow of faithfulness, Prov 2:17 –His greater sex drive puts responsibility on the wife (with-out resentment), 1 Cor 7:

Affair-Proof Your Marriage Her Needs CONVERSATION Col 4:6; Prov 15:23 –Good conversation Informs, focuses, is balanced and undivided –Conversation killers Demands are made Disrespect is shown One or both get angry Dwell on mistakes His Needs RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP Gen 2:18; Eccl 9:9 –Do not “go your separate ways” Share life together –Protects against investing time and energy in another 8

Affair-Proof Your Marriage Her Needs HONESTY AND OPENNESS, 2 Cor 8:21 –Establishes a sense of security, Eph 4:25 Trust is undermined without it –Builds compatibility of common goals, aspirations, etc. His Needs AN ATTRACTIVE SPOUSE, SS 4:9-11 –He is enraptured by your appearance, voice, smell…beautiful to him! She cares how she presents herself to him (and to the world) –Only has eyes for you, Prov 6:

Affair-Proof Your Marriage Her Needs FINANCIAL SUPPORT 1 Tim 5:8 –Support that helps her be secure and content –Not greediness and covetousness, Heb 13:5; 1 Ths 4:11 His Needs DOMESTIC SUPPORT Prov 31:10-12 (13-26), 23 –Manages the house, 1 Tim 5:14 –Worthy woman who watches over the ways of her household – worthy of praise! (Prov 31:27-29) 10

Affair-Proof Your Marriage Her Needs FAMILY COMMITMENT Eph 6:4; Prv 3:1-2; 22:6 Husband who is active in the development of the children (moral, spiritual, educational) Husband who takes responsibility for how the children turn out His Needs ADMIRATION SS 5:10-16; Eph 5:33; Prov 21:9 (19:13) –Show him you appreciate him and his devotion to you –Express your respect with esteem; not contentious complaining 11

His Needs, Her Needs Men, ask yourself: “How am I doing at affair-proofing my marriage and fulfilling these five primary needs of my wife?" Women, ask yourself: “How am I doing at affair-proofing my marriage and fulfilling these five primary needs of my husband?" 12