Life needn’t be one big compromise if you can negotiate successfully Presented by Sebastian Salicru JMW Consultants The Executive Assistant Network National Congress th & 14th May 2008, Luna Park, Sydney

About ♦Established 1982 with a global presence and offices in USA, Europe & Australia – Asia Pacific Region. ♦Purpose – to enable individuals, teams and organisations to achieve extraordinary performance. ♦Practice has three areas: 1. Organisational Transformation 2. Partnering and collaboration on large complex projects 3. Accelerated Development of Leaders and Managers ♦Focus is on assisting clients to deliver extraordinary outcomes and results.

Context - The Renaissance EA is a modern day corporate hero Modern demands of the role of an EA have created a whole new range of developmental issues, including:  becoming invaluable assets for their executives  need to be proactive  being a natural leader  maintaining a good working relationship with numerous key stakeholders both internal and external to the organisation all the times

What is negotiation in your world? It’s about: ♦Allocating and managing time? ♦Allocating and managing resources? ♦Travel arrangements? ♦Negotiating fees? ♦Influencing people?

My intention My intention today is to leave you with an experience of ‘action’ (making things happen) rather than to merely provide you with ‘new information’. What makes a real difference in conversations.

My new possibility Choose a few people (5) in your working world with whom you wish to create a new opening or possibility – or a breakthrough.

Basic Claims  We, human beings, live in language.  Language is generative – we create the world we live in with our language (when we speak we act: language = action).  We are our actions (which includes speaking and listening).

Consider… To engage others in conversations is to move them to action. The success or failure of any executive assistant is a direct function of her/his ability handle effective conversations (communicate). Your working world is:  A network of conversations. Effective conversations co-ordinate action.  A system in which people are bonded (committed) to each other through a network of mutual promises.

The importance of language  Fundamentally, as human beings, get our work done through language – that is, speaking and listening.  Today I want to explore with you talking and the impact of talking on what’s possible.  We are going to distinguish different kinds of talking and the different results from each kind of talking.

Descriptive Committed Talking that refers to things  Explanations/Stories (Gossip!)  Justifications  Opinions  Reports  Assessments/Criticisms  Judgments  Reasons  Complaints PAST/AFTER THE FACT JMW is a registered trademark of JMW Consultants Inc. © 2008 JMW Consultants Inc. All Rights Reserved Categories of Talking

Descriptive Committed Talking that refers to things  Explanations/Stories  Justifications  Opinions  Reports  Assessments/Criticisms  Judgements  Reasons  Complaints PAST/AFTER THE FACT Talking that makes things possible Talking that makes things happen Possibilities, Vision and Values Action and/or Outcome NOW & ONGOINGNOW & FUTURE SELF-DETERMINED CIRCUMSTANCE DETERMINED PROMISE REQUEST OFFER DECLARATION STAND FOR “I SAY…” Categories of Talking JMW is a registered trademark of JMW Consultants Inc. © 2008 JMW Consultants Inc. All Rights Reserved Four Committed Responses: 1.Yes – I accept 2.No – I decline 3.Decline with a Counter Offer 4.Commit to Commit  John F. Kennedy - Moon Speech  Martin Luther King - "I have a dream"  Winston Churchill Speech –“We Shall Never Surrender!  USA declaration of independence from Great Britain (In Congress, July 4, 1776 )

Descriptive Committed Talking that refers to things  Explanations/Stories  Justifications  Opinions  Reports  Assessments/Criticisms  Judgements  Reasons  Complaints PAST/AFTER THE FACT Talking that makes things possible Talking that makes things happen Possibilities, Vision and Values Action and/or Outcome NOW & ONGOINGNOW & FUTURE SELF-DETERMINED CIRCUMSTANCE DETERMINED PROMISE REQUEST OFFER DECLARATION STAND FOR “I SAY…” Categories of Talking and Performance JMW is a registered trademark of JMW Consultants Inc. © 2008 JMW Consultants Inc. All Rights Reserved Continuous Improvement Realm of Breakthroughs (Extraordinary Performance) Mediocrity (Business as usual)

Summary - Three domains of speaking POSSIBILITY ACTION DESCRIPTION FUTURE NOW PAST Stand for Declaration Vision Requests Promises Offers Explanation Opinion Assessment Interpretation JMW is a registered trademark of JMW Consultants Inc. © 2008 JMW Consultants Inc. All Rights Reserved

POSSIBILITY ACTION DESCRIPTION Continuous Improvement Breakthrough Performance JMW is a registered trademark of JMW Consultants Inc. © 2008 JMW Consultants Inc. All Rights Reserved Summary - Three domains of speaking

Request I request you do X by Y  I = committed speaker  You = committed listener  Do = new future action  X = conditions of satisfaction  Y= end time/by when

 Yes – I accept  No – I decline  No – decline with a counter offer  Commit to commit (commit to respond at another time) Committed Responses to a Request

Offer I offer you to do X by Y.

Declaration I declare X is possible. I declare the possibility of X. I’m committed to the possibility ……of X.  Not based on evidence  Brings a possibility into existence Talking Which Makes Something Possible:

Stand  We stand for the possibility of X  The possibility we are committed to is X.  We are committed to the possibility of X.  We say X is possible.

Criteria ♦Bold, declarative, brief ♦Makes something new possible ♦Compelling

My new possibility How will I create a new opening or possibility with some of the people in my working world? Make the following:  One Promise  One or two Offers  One or Requests  One Declaration or take Stand for something

Completion ♦What is the most valuable thing you are taking away from the work session? ♦What can you be counted on for? ♦What did you get out of the work session? ♦What would you like to say to complete the work session?

My Requests and Offer Sebastian Salicru JMW Consultants Ph: Mobile:

My Already Always Listening Conversation The sum total of my opinions, interpretations, ascribed meanings, certainties, positions, beliefs, concepts, and what I already know to be true constitute my already always listening.