CHAPTER 9: BUILD TRUST AS YOU COMMUNICATE PART 1: LISTENING SKILLS Dr. M. Davis-Brantley

What is Communication?  Communication is the transfer of information among individuals  Speaking  Writing  Reading  Listening  We learn to engage in these most of these behaviors from others (parent, teacher, friends)  Don’t receive formal instruction on how to listen

Listening vs. Hearing  Remember: Sensation vs. Perception  Which is Sensation?  Which is Perception?  Listening is active and something we choose to do  It is a proactive behavior

Effective Communication—Listening Skills  True listening is more than just being quiet while someone else is talking  Research states that listening requires that you have at least one of the following intentions in mind 1. To understand someone 2. To enjoy someone 3. To learn something 4. To give help or solace  Steven Covey talks about the intention to understand another human being and the value of accomplishing this first before communicating your own needs or message

Pseudolistening  What does pseudo mean? What does pseudo mean?  Why do we pseudolisten?  Don’t feel like it  Don’t want to hear what the other person is saying  Never learned how to listen  How do we pseudolisten?  Nodding our heads  “Mm-hmm”  When you pseudolisten your intention is not to listen but is to meet some other need such as:  See page 237

Blocks to Effective Listening 1. Judging 2. Mind Reading 3. Stereotyping 4. Interrupting 5. Comparing 6. Advising 7. Rehearsing 8. Stage-Hogging 9. Filtering 10. Dueling 11. Derailing 12. Daydreaming 13. Placating 14. Hidden Agendas 15. Overreacting

The Building Blocks of Effective Listening: 1. Active Listening  Active listening is a process of giving the speaker nonjudgmental responses as a way of checking the accuracy of what you have heard of whether you fully understand the message of the speaker  Ways to Actively listen 1. Paraphrasing 2. Clarifying 3. Feedback that is immediate, honest, and supportive

The Building Blocks of Effective Listening: 2. Empathic Listening  Putting yourself in the shoes of others  Listening to the meanings of the words, not just to the words 3. Listening with Openness  Particularly when someone says something you don’t agree with  Adopting an accepting attitude Group Presentation: Listening with Awareness and Understanding Nonverbal Behavior