P UTTING IT ALL TOGETHER : W RITING AND R EVISION Unit 7 Seminar

H ERO I N A CTION The Ultimate Boon and the Master of Two Worlds

S CHEDULE YOUR TIME Make a schedule for drafting and stick as closely to it as possible. Do not write the entire essay in one sitting. You can do it all if you begin now !

R EMEMBER THE PROCESS... The most common way students get “lost” in the essay is by not following the process for writing. The topic, thesis, and outline have been parts of this process. The draft and receiving feedback will be important parts of the same process; all this work is connected. Take time to make time; create a schedule for your work so that you can juggle all the responsibilities in your life.

S EEKING H ELP Ask for help when you need it! Your instructor is eager to help, but many times cannot help on the day before a project is due because there is not enough time. Also use the Kaplan Writing Center as part of your writing process from beginning to final draft. What other helpers, resources, and “amulets” exist?

D RAFTING Let’s look at how one student organized her work. On the next page, you’ll see a highlighted paragraph. The functions of each paragraph have been highlighted as: 1: Topic Sentence 2: Supporting Details 3. Closing Sentence

B ODY PARAGRAPHS Example body paragraph (thesis key point 1): topic sentence, support, closing sentence At the outset, Internet publishing promises writers powerful representation from major book vendors. For example, many Internet publishers have deals with industry giants such as Barnes and Noble and Amazon. In exchange for shared royalties, these booksellers list, promote, and sell both self-published and so-called “virtual reads” to their customer base (Lowell, 2005). This powerful marketing tool means that a writer can self-publish while having the selling advantage of those who have waited a long time to find print-publishing acceptance. This advantage can be attractive, as seen in the over 59 percent increase in self-published and electronic books (Lowell, 2005). As more booksellers agree to sign on for print-on-demand and e-book partnerships, the reading world can expect more authors to take this virtual publishing route.

O UTLINING One good way to fix organization is to do a little prep work. When you get ready to bake a cake, you don’t just go at it. First, you look at the recipe and get out the ingredients you need. You looked at the essay’s “recipe” when you saw the assignment. Now let’s get out the ingredients by writing an outline!

If I were asked to write an essay about my hobbies, my outline may look like this: I. Introduction (1st paragraph) A. Attention grabber: Ask a thought provoking question about what life would be like without hobbies. B. Thesis Statement: Write a sentence or two that tells the reader what I’m going to talk about in the essay. I’ll tell the reader about three hobbies: singing, reading, and playing Frisbee golf. II. Singing (2nd paragraph) A. Main idea: Singing is a way I find release to stress B. I like to practice singing scales C. making up songs for my daughter D. writing melodies and words to songs III. Reading A. Main idea: Reading takes me to another world B. Imagination C. enjoying the language of good writing D. learning about new things IV. Frisbee Golf A. Main idea: something to do with the family that gets exercise B. competing with my husband for best score C. helping my daughter throw well D. walking in the park-like environment outdoors V. Conclusion A. restate the thesis statement with other words B. answer the thought-provoking question from my attention grabber

B UILDING THE P APER THROUGH THE T HESIS It is important that the thesis statement in an essay is clear to the reader. The purpose of the thesis statement is to let the reader know what the essay is going to be about. The thesis statement should also happen at the end of the first or second paragraph of an essay. In order to clearly state your thesis, you must address a question. For instance, if I were writing about literature, I might want to answer, “What are some of the same issues and institutions that Dickens and Bronte both address?” My thesis statement might look something like this: Charles Dickens and Charlotte Brontë address several of the same issues in their novels, Hard Times and Jane Eyre. Not only do these two authors confront issues such divorce and social class structure, but share themes such as biblical/religious references. Notice how I restated the question posed? I then let the reader know how I’m going to focus on the topic throughout the rest of the essay.

I know that I have used that example before, but I’d like you notice how I move from general to specific ideas. It is also important to note that the thesis statement should give the reader an idea of how the essay will be structured. In fact, I could create an outline based upon my thesis statement above. I. Introduction A. attention getter B. thesis statement II. Divorce A. Divorce in Dickens’ work B. Divorce in Bronte’s work C. Similarities and differences between the two III. Social Class structure A. in Dickens’ work B. in Bronte’s work C. similarities and differences B UILDING THE P APER THROUGH THE T HESIS

VI. Theme of Biblical/religious references A. in Dickens’ work B. in Bronte’s work C. similarities and differences V. Conclusion A. restate the thesis B. relate the conclusion to the attention getter in the introduction Considering this, can you clarify your thesis statement to let the reader know what you are going to talk about and how you will structure your essay?

R EVISING

REVIEW THE STRUCTURE, AUDIENCE, AND PURPOSE Step 1: Review each body paragraph of the essay: Check the structure Check the topic, supporting, and closing sentences for expression Check the evidence Consider the modes used/that could be used (PREFACTS) Step 2: Review the introduction: Check the two main parts of an introduction Check the three functions of an introduction Step 3: Review the conclusion: Check the two main parts of a conclusion Check the three functions of a conclusion Step 4: Consider your target audience Step 5: Review the purpose

Revising means “to look at [the content] again. Focus on the ideas and their expression Read out loud Get away for a while Use a helpful acronym: ARMS: Add? Remove? Move? Substitute? FACT: Fit? Add? Cut? Test? Use invention strategies Review discarded ideas (e.g., the “trash” file) Any other successful strategies? W HAT ARE SOME TIPS FOR REVISING A PAPER ?

W HAT IS EDITING ? W HAT ARE SOME TIPS FOR EDITING A PAPER ? Get away for a while Read it out loud Make your words work! Check the last word in sentences. Are they working? Don’t be boring! Add variety in diction and syntax Use parallelism Check coherence (e.g., transitions) Check for punctuation—under use and over use Don’t be “Double-Preposition Man/Woman” Check for typos and wrong words Avoid lapsing into the informal first or second person in an academic paper. Narrating your internal thought process should also be avoided. Avoid unnecessary jawbreaker words and “triangulation strangulation.” Other tips?

P ROOFREADING VERSUS S PELL C HECK Spell check is a good first pass of your document, but it should not be relied on to catch every error. For example, spell check won’t catch misused words, only misspelled words. The same goes for Noodletools and other writing resources. They are good tools, but you must be the one who knows how to use them.

M ISUSED W ORDS Homophones —words that sound the same but have different spellings Homonyms— words that sound the same and look the same. However, they have different meanings. Since the words sound alike but have different meanings, homophones won’t usually be caught by spell check. I or eye? Its or it’s Defiantly or Definitely?

E XAMPLES Examples of these words are: -affect vs. effect elicit vs. illicit -there, their, they're lead vs. led -too, two, to may be vs. maybe -then vs. than principal vs. principle -loose vs. lose desert vs. dessert

D O YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES IN THESE PAIRS ? Most stores (except/accept) American Express. The (affect/effect) of the storm was frightening. Carmen is (already/all ready) in class. Marcus is under the (allusion/illusion) that he is famous.

A S Y OU E DIT... Keep in mind that a sentence does not have to be brief to be effective; long sentences can be worthwhile, too. In fact, an essay’s sentence length and structure should vary. Some sentences should be brief and others should be longer. Punctuation and the “sound” of sentences should vary. However, every word should be necessary.

P ARAGRAPH WITH TOO MANY SHORT SENTENCES Autism may be caused by injections. Specifically, the injections given to infants are suspect. Booster shots for tetanus, measles, and Diphtheria may contain thermasol. Thermasol is a preservative made with mercury (Tyson, 2004). Preservatives are added to give the drugs a longer shelf life. Some bodies are not able to process mercury. This may put those people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).

P ARAGRAPH WITH TOO MANY LONG SENTENCES It seems impossible to not see the link between injections for children and the rise of autism in our country. Because American children receive a host of preventative inoculations such as measles/mumps/rubella, diphtheria/tetanus, chicken pox, and hepatitis, many experts believe the quality and quantity of the injections are problematic in the long term. With millions of dollars of profit at risk, pharmaceutical companies are choosing to include a mercury preservative that gives these injections a longer shelf life. Thermasol, the mercury preservative in question, leaves a residue behind in the system, and in particular the nervous system (Tyson, 2004). Interrupting the way the way the brain and nerves grow puts people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).

P ARAGRAPH WITH A BALANCE It seems impossible to not see the link between injections for children and the rise of autism in our country. Specifically, the injections given to infants are suspect. Because American children receive a host of preventative inoculations such as measles/mumps/rubella, diphtheria/tetanus, chicken pox, and hepatitis, many experts believe the quality and quantity of the injections are problematic in the long term. Thermasol is a preservative made with mercury (Tyson, 2004). Preservatives are added to give the drugs a longer shelf life. Some bodies are not able to process mercury and the nervous system suffers. Interrupting the way the way the brain and nerves grow puts people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).

W HAT QUESTIONS ARE THERE ON APA STYLE AND FORMAT ?

Thank you for a great seminar! Have a wonderful week! Misty