BRUSH STROKES From Image Grammar by Harry R. Noden Compiled by: Rebecca Meuse Glass

RESEARCH “Students often see revision, not as an opportunity to develop and improve a piece of writing, but as an indication that they have failed to do it right the first time.” - Donald M. Murray “Even high school students admit to little or no experience in revision. At best, they may recopy a paper.” -Robert L. Hillerich

“Quick revising is a revision method for when the results don’t matter too much. It may be used for a clean draft for yourself, a possible draft for discussion, or a letter to a friend.” - Peter Elbow “Thorough Revising involves time, allowing the writer to visit and revisit the work, to be allowed to view the writing with fresh perspectives.” - Peter Elbow

“The writer is an artist, painting images of life with specific and identifiable brush strokes.” -Harry Noden “He began to see grammar as the process of creating art, it seemed unnatural to him not to view grammar as a continuous spectrum in a whole work.”

“Pictures are not made of flowers, guitars, people, surf or turf, but with irreducible elements of art: shapes, tones, directions, sizes, lines, textures, and color.” - Frank Webb “Writing is not constructed merely from experiences, information, characters, plots, but from fundamental artistic elements of grammar.” - Harry Noden

ACTION VERBS Go from passive voice to active voice by deleting the “BE” verbs.

EXAMPLES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The runaway horse was ridden into town by an old, white-whiskered rancher. NEW SENTENCE: An old, white whiskered rancher rode the runaway horse into town.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE ORIGINAL SENTENCE: I went home to see what was happening. NEW SENTENCE: I raced home to see what was happening.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The students went out of the school building at the end of the day. NEW SENTENCE: The students dashed and scrambled out of the building at the end of the day.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The gravel road was on the left side of the barn. NEW SENTENCE: The gravel road curled around the left side of the barn.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE ORIGINAL SENTENCE: A snake is a slithering creature. NEW SENTENCE: The creepy long snake slithered through the tall grass.

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES GUIDED PRACTICE PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES The motorbike drove down the street.

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES Imagine a football player running down a field: The football player darted down the field. Try adding an –ing verb at the beginning of the sentence.

EXAMPLES: ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The football player darted down the field. NEW SENTENCE: Dodging the tackle and weaving through the defense, the football player darted down the field.

DEFINITION PARTICIPLE = A form of a verb that functions as an adjective Examples – the laughing boy - the baked beans

Sitting at her desk, Jane read the letter carefully. DEFINITION PARTICIPLE= A form of a verb that functions as an adjective Examples – the laughing boy - the baked beans Sitting at her desk, Jane read the letter carefully.

Sitting at her desk, Jane read the letter carefully. DEFINITION PARTICIPLE= A form of a verb that functions as an adjective Examples – the laughing boy - the baked beans Sitting at her desk, Jane read the letter carefully.

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES Hissing and slithering, the rattlesnake moved swiftly through the tall grass.

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES Hissing and slithering, the rattlesnake moved swiftly through the tall grass.

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved. - Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved. - Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved. - Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES Shifting the weight of the line to his left shoulder and kneeling carefully, he washed his hand in the ocean and held it there, submerged, for more than a minute, watching the blood trail away and the steady movement of the water against his hand as the boat moved. - Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES The clown, appearing bright and cheerful, smiled and did his act with unusual certainty for someone who had just killed a man. - Christi F.

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES The clown, appearing bright and cheerful, smiled and did his act with unusual certainty for someone who had just killed a man. - Christi F.

EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES The rhino, caught in the tangled rope, looked for freedom. - Erika S.

EXAMPLES PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES The rhino, caught in the tangled rope, looked for freedom. - Erika S.

PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES GUIDED PRACTICE PAINTING WITH PARTICIPLES The motorbike drove down the street.

BEGINNING PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The girl waved good-bye to her mother’s plane. NEW SENTENCE: With tears in her eyes, the girl waved good-bye to her mother’s plane.

GUIDED PRACTICE PAINT WITH BEGINNING PREPOSITIONAL PHRASES: EXAMPLE: Through the tall yellow grass, the creepy snake slithered. ______________________________ STUDENTS’ INITIAL SENTENCE: A motorbike drove down the street. STUDENTS’ EXAMPLE: ______________________________________________________________________

PAINTING WITH SHIFTED ADJECTIVES Adjectives out of order often amplify the details of an image. Professional writers often shift their adjectives rather than add them before a noun.

EXAMPLES OF SHIFTED ADJECTIVES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The usually active and energetic young boy struggled to reach the third floor landing. Usually active and energetic, the young boy struggled to reach the third floor landing.

MORE EXAMPLES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The trembling and frightened young pup scooted under the bed during the thunderstorm. NEW SENTENCE: Trembling and frightened, the young pup scooted under the bed during the thunderstorm.

GUIDED PRACTICE PAINTING WITH SHIFTED ADJECTIVES EXAMPLE: Creepy and slimy, the greenish black snake slithered through the tall grass. _____________________________________________________________ STUDENTS’ INITIAL SENTENCE: The motorbike drove down the street. EXAMPLE: __________________________________________________________

BRUSHSTROKE #4 - PAINTING WITH APPOSITIVES IN YOUR NOTEBOOK - PLEASE ADD THIS DEFINITION TO THE “LESSONS” SECTION BRUSHSTROKE #4 - PAINTING WITH APPOSITIVES APPOSITIVE = a noun phrase that adds additional information to a preceding noun. It usually “renames” the original noun.

An appositive phrase usually follows the word it explains or identifies, but it may also precede it.

EXAMPLES OF APPOSITIVES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The raft drifted slowly down the winding river.

EXAMPLES OF APPOSITIVES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The raft drifted slowly down the winding river. NEW SENTENCE: The raft, a skimpy wooden structure, drifted slowly down the winding river.

MORE EXAMPLES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The waterfall poured the fresh pure spray into the creek.

MORE EXAMPLES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The waterfall poured the fresh pure spray into the creek. NEW SENTENCE: The waterfall, a tilted pitcher, poured the fresh, pure spray into the creek.

PAINTING WITH APPOSITIVES The motorbike drove down the street. EXAMPLE: ________________________________ ________________________________

PUNCTUATING APPOSITIVES Set the appositive phrase off with commas  parenthetical phrases i.e. ( ) = ,------, These are often interrupters – treat them as such  they can be removed WITHOUT changing the meaning of the sentence

PUNCTUATING APPOSITIVES Set the appositive phrase off with commas  parenthetical phrases i.e. ( ) = ,------, These are often interrupters – treat them as such  they can be removed WITHOUT changing the meaning of the sentence

QUIZ TUESDAY You should know: Clauses v. phrases Independent/dependent/main clauses Punctuating introductory phrases/clauses Participle/prepositional/appositive phrases Punctuating interrupters Punctuating main clauses (ie commas+conjunctions, semi-colons, etc.)

PAINTING WITH THE ABSOLUTE An absolute is a noun combined with an –ing verb at the beginning of the sentence.

EXAMPLES ORIGINAL SENTENCE: The dog yawned silently. NEW SENTENCE: Paws curling, back stretching, the dog yawned silently.

GUIDED PRACTICE PAINTING WITH ABSOLUTES EXAMPLE: Head rising, body slithering, the snake threatened the rat. ___________________________________________________________ STUDENTS’ INITIAL SENTENCE: The motorbike drove down the street. EXAMPLE:______________________ ______________________________

Brush Strokes Review Action Verbs: Go from passive voice to active voice be replacing the “Be” verbs.  Beginning Prepositional Phrases: The girl waved can change to, With tears in her eyes, the girl…  Painting with Participles: Add an ing verb at the beginning of the sentence The football player darted can change to, Dodging the tackle and weaving through their defense, the football player….      

 Shifted Adjectives: The usually active and energetic young boy can be changed to Usually active and energetic, the young boy….   Painting with Appositives: a noun that adds additional information The raft drifted can be changed to The raft, a skimpy wooden structure…. Painting with the Absolute: a noun combines with an -ing verb at the beginning of a sentence The dog yawned can be changed to Paws curling, back stretching, the dog….

REFERENCES Elbow, Peter (1981). Writing With Power. N.Y.: Oxford University Press. Hillerich, Robert L. Teaching Children to Write, K-8. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall, Inc. Murray, Donald M. (1995). The Craft of Revision. 2nd ed. NY: Harcourt Brace College Publishers. Noden, Harry. “The Writer As Artist: Basic Brush Strokes.” Image Grammar. Heineman Publishing, New Hampshire, 1999.