Guiding Children’s Behavior HPC 3O May 2nd, 2013

Understanding Guidance Punishment is only a small part of guiding children Guidance: using firmness and understanding to help children learn to control their own behavior

Understanding Guidance As a result of effective guidance, children achieve self-discipline  ability to control their own behavior

Understanding Guidance Why is effective guidance important? Helps children learn to get along with others Handle feelings in an acceptable way Promotes security and a positive feeling about self Moral development Developing a conscience - - inner sense of what is right

Consistency Clearly making rules an applying them in the same way in all situations Children lose trust in a caregiver who constantly changes rules or fails to enforce them What should a parent do if more than one person cares for the child?

Guiding Behavior 3 ways to guide children to behave: Encouraging appropriate behavior Setting and enforcing limits Dealing with inappropriate behavior in effective ways

Encouraging Appropriate Behavior 3 ways: Setting a good example Telling what is expected Praising appropriate behavior  positive reinforcement

Encouraging Appropriate Behavior Be specific Notice the behavior as soon as possible Recognize small steps Help the child take pride in his or her actions Tailor the encouragement to the needs of the child

Setting Limits Limits include physical restrictions or rules of behavior Limits should keep children from hurting themselves, other people or property Should be few and reasonable!

What Should Limits Be? Does the limit allow the child to learn, explore and grow? Is the limit fair and appropriate for the child’s age? Does the limit benefit the child, or is it merely for the adult’s convenience?

Making Limits Clear Clearly state limits and restate everytime the situation arises Limits must be clear  have a “small snack” is unclear for a 3-year old Calm, direct tone

Making Limits Clear Setting limits includes four steps: Show understanding of the child’s desires Set the limit and explain it Acknowledge the child’s feelings Give alternatives

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior A caregiver should ask these questions when responding to a child’s misbehavior: Is the expected behavior appropriate given the child’s development? Does the child understand the behavior is wrong? Was the behavior knowingly and deliberately?

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Unintentional Misbehavior: Spilling milk or juice for example  shouldn’t be punished! If the child had no way of knowing it was wrong  Brittany picking flowers from the park

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Using Punishment Effectively: Deliberate attempts Punishment is negative reinforcement  response aimed at discouraging a child from repeating a behavior

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Using Punishment Effectively: 1st time child breaks rule  a warning is fine Rule broken another time  punishment given according to severity of misbehavior

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Techniques for dealing with inappropriate behavior: Natural consequences Loss of privileges: Take away a privilege. Most effective for ages 5 and older Giving time-out: Short period of time in which a child sits away from other people and the center of activity

Dealing with Inappropriate Behavior Poor Disciplinary Measures: Bribing Making children promise to behave: forced to lie about misbehavior rather than disappoint Shouting or yelling Shaming or belittling Threatening to withhold love

Handling Conflict Anger – a natural emotion. Do not make the child feel guilty about it Caregivers can help the child learn that there are acceptable ways of handling that anger

Handling Conflict Ways of handling anger: Using words Speaking calmly Counting to ten Discuss the misbehavior and punishment after the child has calmed down. Explain how they misbehaved and what they should have done instead*