SAFE DATE NOTES RELATIONSHIP – A BOND OR CONNECTION YOU HAVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE ‘SOCIAL’ COMMITMENTS RELATIONSHIPS ARE ‘SOCIAL’ COMMITMENTS. WHAT ARE SOME TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE POSSIBLE?

WHO MIGHT YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH?

THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENCE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS: FAMILY FRIENDSHIPS CASUAL ROMANTIC SPORT TEAMS YOUTH GROUPS RELIGIOUS GROUPS

ROLE – HOW YOU BEHAVE OR ACT IN A RELATIONSHIP. YOU HAVE A CERTAIN ROLE IN EACH OF THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS - CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS AND BEHAVIORS. Child Employee Student Neighbor Athlete Sister or brother Partner

FRIENDSHIP A SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE BASED ON TRUST CARING CONSIDERATION RESPECT HONESTY HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS?

One of Maslow’s basic human needs is TO BELONG AND BE LOVED INTIMACY refers to a feeling of close attachment and belonging together. Types: Physical Emotional Cognitive Experiential Intimacy results from a close bond formed through knowledge and experiences with the other.

3 types of communication styles Aggressive = being overly forceful. It might involve bullying or intimidation. Not paying attention to other’s feelings or needs. Passive = being unwilling or unable to express thoughts or feelings. Putting other’s needs ahead of your own. Assertive = expressing your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully. Standing up for your rights while respecting others.

PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS HITTING SCRATCHING PUSHING BITING CHOKING SHAKING PUNCHING PINCHING RAPING SPITTING SHOVING PULLING HAIR

EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS Ignoring a partner’s feelings Insulting a partner’s values and beliefs Acting in an intimidating way Calling a date names Isolating a partner from friends or family Acting jealous or spreading rumors

EMOTIONAL ABUSE (continued) Scaring a partner Keeping a partner from leaving Humiliating a partner in public or private Telling lies Threatening to hurt oneself or partner Damaging a partner’s property

HARMFUL BEHAVIORS BECOME ABUSE WHEN . . . THEY ARE USED TO: MANIPULATE another person GAIN CONTROL or POWER of someone Make YOU FEEL BAD about YOURSELF or OTHERS Make YOU FEEL AFRAID of your partner Make someone FEEL GUILTY

EMOTIONAL ABUSE MIGHT NOT BE “ABUSIVE” IF ONLY DONE ONCE. PROGRESSION No relationship is perfect. There may be feelings of confusion, anger, or jealousy- this is normal in relationships. EMOTIONAL ABUSE MIGHT NOT BE “ABUSIVE” IF ONLY DONE ONCE.

BUT . . . IT BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN….. THESE ACTIONS HAPPEN MORE THAN ONCE AND BECOME A REGULAR BEHAVIOR IN THE RELATIONSHIP. AND WHEN USED TO MANIPULATE , CONTROL OR MAKE SOMEONE FEEL BAD.

Why do people abuse? PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE ACTS PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE FEELS PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE THINKS

SHORT TERM Consequences of abuse Getting into trouble with school or law Feeling intimidated or afraid Feeling bossed or controlled Get physically injured Being humiliated or upset Feelings of guilt, anger, or confusion

LONG TERM Consequences of abuse Losing friends and being isolated Criminal charges or jail time Becoming depressed, feelings of suicide Withdraw and isolate self Not trust future relationships Believe it is normal behavior

Barriers to Getting Help Fear of hurting their dating partner Fear of getting into trouble with one’s parents Fear of being blamed or not believed Fear of retaliation from abusive partner Fear of being judged Embarrassment Not knowing HOW to improve the situation

SAFE SKILLS FOR BUILDING EQUAL POWER THROUGH COMMUNICATION S Stay calm- use calming strategies to feel cool and collected A Ask questions – Ask honest and open questions to better understand the situation F Find out feelings – Find out how the other person feels about the situation that is causing the disagreement E Exchange ideas for a possible solution