 Putting it All Together: Revision CM107 Unit 7 Seminar

Review: The Heroic Writer’s Journey

Schedule your time  Make a schedule for drafting and stick as closely to it as possible.  Do not write the entire essay in one sitting.  You can do it all if you begin now!

Remember the Process...  The most common way students get “lost” in the essay is by not following the process for writing.  The topic, thesis, and outline have been parts of this process.  The draft and receiving feedback will be important parts of the same process; all this work is connected.  Take time to make time; create a schedule for your work so that you can juggle all the responsibilities in your life.

Seeking Help  Ask for help when you need it! Your instructor is eager to help, but many times cannot help on the day before a project is due because there is not enough time.  Also use the Kaplan Writing Center as part of your writing process from beginning to final draft.  What other helpers, resources and amulets exist?

Revision  Many revision issues exist, but divide revising tasks into three basic divisions: * Revise sentences for content (ideas) * Revise for grammar; proofread aloud. * Revise for APA (if necessary)—check each citation and reference item for APA format. Remember to focus on the sources you are using. Avoid overwhelming yourself with information you don’t need right now.  You may generate many drafts! The more you draft, the better the chance of catching errors and making the essay stronger.

Review the Structure, Audience & Purpose Step 1: Review each body paragraph of the essay: Check the structure Check the topic, supporting, and closing sentences for expression Check the evidence Consider the modes used/that could be used (PREFACTS) Step 2: Review the introduction: Check the two main parts of an introduction Check the three functions of an introduction Step 3: Review the conclusion: Check the two main parts of a conclusion Check the three functions of a conclusion Step 4: Consider your target audience Step 5: Review the purpose

 Revising means “to look at [the content] again.  Focus on the ideas and their expression  Read out loud  Get away for a while  Use a helpful acronym:  ARMS: Add? Remove? Move? Substitute?  FACT: Fit? Add? Cut? Test?  Use invention strategies  Review discarded ideas (e.g., the “trash” file)  Any other successful strategies? What are some tips for revising a paper?

What is Editing? What are some tips for editing a paper ? Get away for a while Read it out loud Make your words work! Check the last word in sentences. Are they working? Don’t be boring! Add variety in diction and syntax Use parallelism Check coherence (e.g., transitions) Check for punctuation—under use and over use Don’t be “Double-Preposition Man/Woman” Check for typos and wrong words Avoid lapsing into the informal first or second person in an academic paper. Narrating your internal thought process should also be avoided. Avoid unnecessary jawbreaker words and “triangulation strangulation.” Other tips?

Drafting  Let’s look at how one student organized her work.  On the next page, you’ll see a highlighted paragraph. The functions of each paragraph have been highlighted as:  1: Topic Sentence  2: Supporting Details  3. Closing Sentence

Body Paragraphs  Example body paragraph (thesis key point 1): topic sentence, support, closing sentence  At the outset, Internet publishing promises writers powerful representation from major book vendors. For example, many Internet publishers have deals with industry giants such as Barnes and Noble and Amazon. In exchange for shared royalties, these booksellers list, promote, and sell both self- published and so-called “virtual reads” to their customer base (Lowell, 2005). This powerful marketing tool means that a writer can self-publish while having the selling advantage of those who have waited a long time to find print-publishing acceptance. This advantage can be attractive, as seen in the over 59 percent increase in self-published and electronic books (Lowell, 2005). As more booksellers agree to sign on for print-on-demand and e-book partnerships, the reading world can expect more authors to take this virtual publishing route.

About Spell Check  Spell check is a good first pass of your document, but it should not be relied on to catch every error. For example, spell check won’t catch misused words, only misspelled words.

Misused Words  Homophones—words that sound the same but have different spellings  Homonyms—words that sound the same AND have the same spelling. However, they have different meanings.  Since the words sound alike but have different meanings, homophones won’t usually be caught by spell check.

Examples  Examples of these words are:  -affect vs. effect elicit vs. illicit  -there, their, they're lead vs. led  -too, two, to may be vs. maybe  -then vs. than principal vs. principle  -loose vs. lose desert vs. dessert

DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES IN THESE PAIRS?  Most stores (except/accept) American Express.  The (affect/effect) of the storm was frightening.  Carmen is (already/all ready) in class.  Marcus is under the (allusion/illusion) that he is famous.  Justin Bieber (defiantly/definitely) has the best hair on earth.

Proofreading Cites like Wikipedia are notoriously unreliable. Charges of lible and plagiarism have been brought forth even though it doesn’t appear Wikipedia knew this was elicit. They’re planning to update their policies and procedures, but who knows when these principals will go into effect. Whose planning on policing them and insuring their information is correctly and legally posted? They may lose funding if such standards are impossible to maintain.

As you edit...  Keep in mind that a sentence does not have to be brief to be effective; long sentences can be worthwhile, too.  In fact, an essay’s sentence length and structure should vary.  Some sentences should be brief and others should be longer.  Punctuation and the “sound” of sentences should vary.  However, every word should be necessary.

Let’s Practice Courage means to me is the courage to face your fears as well as facing danger in something that I believe is right at any cost. Martin Luther King is a man who I believe is a definition of courage.He faced death everyday for a period of over 13 yrs. He was killed on April 6,1955. He was a man that even though he stood up for not only what he believe in, but what we as people believed in as well. He took a stand even though his life was in danger from day to day. He was not one that was looking to challenge anyone for an election. He was one that wanted Peace and Justice for all. He fought for segregation and he stood up peace and justices for all. He gathered up people for a nonviolent protest and peace rallies to demonstrate that segregation wasn’t right. The whites sat up front, while blacks had to sit in the back of the bus. If the bus was full the blacks had to give up their seat to a white person. Dr. King won that victory in Montgomery. There was a time when Dr. King was at a book singing in a department store in Harlem. This deranged black woman came out the blue and stuck a knife in Dr. King chest. He was rushed to the hospital where They operated on him they were able to remove the knife and he was fine. Martin Luther King was courageous man that stood up for what he and the people believed in. This is what he was killed over, so he crossed a threshold that I know no one would want to risk their life over. He is one of my hero’s!

Too many short sentences  Autism may be caused by injections. Specifically, the injections given to infants are suspect. Booster shots for tetanus, measles, and Diphtheria may contain thermasol. Thermasol is a preservative made with mercury (Tyson, 2004). Preservatives are added to give the drugs a longer shelf life. Some bodies are not able to process mercury. This may put those people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).

Too many long sentences  It seems impossible to not see the link between injections for children and the rise of autism in our country. Because American children receive a host of preventative inoculations such as measles/mumps/rubella, diphtheria/tetanus, chicken pox, and hepatitis, many experts believe the quality and quantity of the injections are problematic in the long term. With millions of dollars of profit at risk, pharmaceutical companies are choosing to include a mercury preservative that gives these injections a longer shelf life. Thermasol, the mercury preservative in question, leaves a residue behind in the system, and in particular the nervous system (Tyson, 2004). Interrupting the way the way the brain and nerves grow puts people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).

Balanced paragraph  It seems impossible to not see the link between injections for children and the rise of autism in our country. Specifically, the injections given to infants are suspect. Because American children receive a host of preventative inoculations such as measles/mumps/rubella, diphtheria/tetanus, chicken pox, and hepatitis, many experts believe the quality and quantity of the injections are problematic in the long term. Thermasol is a preservative made with mercury (Tyson, 2004). Preservatives are added to give the drugs a longer shelf life. Some bodies are not able to process mercury and the nervous system suffers. Interrupting the way the way the brain and nerves grow puts people at risk for developing autism at “a rate of more than 500%, particularly those with a familial tendency toward autism” (Jackson, 2006, p.7).