Happily ever after? PERSPECTIVES ON DEVELOPMENT ACROSS THE LIFE-SPAN

THE FAMILY  Wide variety across cultures  Day Care will help kids from strong homes will help kids from strong homes will save kids from troubled homes will save kids from troubled homes studies have not revealed risk studies have not revealed risk  Untraditional families fare well

divorce  A common occurrence  Many children suffer but the earlier the better but the earlier the better  Special problems for moms with sons can become more aggressive can become more aggressive Mom’s new job aggravate Mom’s new job aggravate  But boys often show signs of distress years before the split

Divorce ii  Mom’s remarriage girls often hostile to new mate girls often hostile to new mate frequently he’ll give up trying frequently he’ll give up trying  Hope well adjusted children, whose parents displayed little conflict fare well well adjusted children, whose parents displayed little conflict fare well “For your children” programs help “For your children” programs help

Stay together?  Should parents stay together, “for the kids”?  Not if the conflict is obvious and bitter  Remember, boys start to act out if parents bicker, even well before the separation

Further egocentrism  Well beyond the preoperational stage, we continue to be self-absorbed  The Personal Fable “I am special. Sure it might happen to other people, but it won’t happen to me.” “I am special. Sure it might happen to other people, but it won’t happen to me.”  Does everyone outgrow this?

Erik Erikson’s Gift  A fascinating man with the ultimate long view  Wide travels, cross-cultural appreciation  Do we stay the same, inside, after we reach 16?  A psychosocial map of the challenges we will face from birth to death

the best of Freud accommodated to our life stories  A “natural” for Freud’s ideas, he expanded them across our life span while de-emphasizing sex and aggression  The result was an eight stage theory which recognized that “happily ever after” only happens in fairy tales  Failures to meet challenges impede mature development

The early years  #1 from birth to one Trust vs. Mistrust Trust vs. Mistrust Do my caregivers aid me when necessary? Do my caregivers aid me when necessary?  ties in directly with attachment theory  If achieved, we experience hope

 #2 Autonomy vs. Shame from 1 to 2 or three from 1 to 2 or three Can we handle the challenge of toilet training without trauma? Can we handle the challenge of toilet training without trauma?  If met, will

 # 3 Initiative vs. Guilt followed by, followed by,  #4 Industry vs. Inferiority  From three to adolesence  Can I work?  If conquered, we feel purpose and confidence

 # 5 Identity vs. Role Confusion  The great challenge of adolescence  Will I decide what kind of person I am, what I will do with my life and how I will do it?  If met, fidelity

Identity formation  Two overriding qualities  Commitment – Am I dedicated to my plan for my life?  Exploration – Have I sufficiently explored my options?  The identity crisis – concern with decisions about the future and the quest for self-understanding

Does art imitate life?  The Lord of the Rings  Spiderman  Star Wars

Intimacy  # 6 Intimacy vs. Isolation  Are we brave enough to bare our selves to another?  If met, love  Do men and women experience these differently?

The challenges of our middle age  #7 Generativity vs. Stagnation  Have we done it all for ourselves?  Many changes  If conquered, care

finally  # 8 Fulfillment/Integrity vs. Despair  Did we fight the good fight?  Are we proud of what we have done?  If met, wisdom