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What we need to know about playing! Winning feels great (pride) Losing feels awful (shame) Your team might win, might come last, might come somewhere in between You might get on the compass of shame (watch out) It might not feel fair Can you handle it?

Question 1: What is the name of the feeling of ‘yuck’ that we all get when we know we’ve messed, up harmed someone, or not been as cool as we’d like? A: Shame

Question 2: Name something that might cause a person to feel shame A: hurting someone, making a mistake, getting in trouble etc.

Question 3: What are some things that happen in our body and brain when shame is triggered? A: can’t think properly, feel sick in the tummy, hang head, blush, slump, remember other shameful times, forget we are good etc.

Question 4: When we muck up, upset someone up or just not be as good at something as we wanted to be, the feeling of shame has an important job – What is it? A: to get us to look at ourselves and do better / take responsibility / fix the problem / apologise

Question 5: What happens when we feel shame and we know we have friends and people who love us A: We can fix the problem that caused us to feel shame

Question 6: What happens when we feel shame but don’t think we have any friends or anyone who loves us? A: We use the compass of shame and withdrawal, attack self, avoid or attack other

Question 7: What are the four points of the compass of Shame? A: Withdrawal, Attack self, Avoidance, Attack other

Question 8: Name something someone using Withdrawal might do when they feel shame?

Question 9: Name something someone using Attack self might do or say when they feel shame?

Question 10: Name something someone using Avoidance might do or say when they feel shame?

Question 11: Name something someone using Attack Other might do when they feel shame?

Question 12: When we get shame from causing harm to somebody, what is shame telling us to do?

Question 13: Why do teachers use Restorative Questions here when things go wrong?

Question 14 (story 1): Ben is told of in front of the class for tapping his pen loudly on his desk. He feels embarrassed but reminds himself that everyone makes mistakes and stops doing it. Deals with the problem

Question 15 (story 2): Ben is told of in front of the class for tapping his pen loudly on his desk. He feels embarrassed and says loudly “Geez, you always pick on me”. Then he sees that Jacob is looking at him and snaps “do your work loser”. Attack other

Question 16 (story 3): Charlotte arrives at school on Tuesday to find that none of the girls will talk to her. He knows they are upset with her because she blabbed something Macy had told her as a secret yesterday. Charlotte feels very ashamed of herself because she knows she didn’t act like a good friend. She spends the rest of the week not talking to any of the girls at recess and lunch times and sits away from everyone. Withdrawal Compass of Shame

Question 17 (story 4): Steve missed a goal after the siren in under 14s on Saturday. The goal would have won the game for his team. Isn’t able to look any of his team mates in the eye after the game. Later he decides that the team is better off without him and asks his mum to call the coach and tell him that he’s giving up footy because he can’t kick under pressure. Attack self or Withdrawal

Question 18 (story 5): During Geography, Amanda giggles out loud after Josh answers one of the teacher’s questions incorrectly. Josh hangs his head and the teacher says “Amanda, that’s not kind – it’s not like you to put people down”. Amanda feels awfully ashamed and wonders what kind of a person would do what she just did. At recess, Amanda builds up her courage and walks straight over to Josh and apologises for giggling in front of his mates. She says she had no excuse and that it must have made him feel very embarrassed. she fixed it

Question 19 (story 6): At the end of a special quiz, Evan’s team have come last in the scoring. Evan has always found losing really hard to deal with because losing feels awful. At the end he looks grumpy, won’t talk to anyone and then out loud accuses the teacher of cheating by secretly giving other teams the answers. Attack other

Bonus Question Bill, the teacher is offended by Evan’s accusation. He feels ashamed, angry and let down and yells loudly at Evan “No wonder people don’t like having you on their team – for anything. You’re such a rotten sport Evan. Attack other Compass of Shame

Winners take Prizes