Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010) Slide 1 of 3 Eliminating Wordiness Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills, and meaningless jargon. – William Zinsser A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine with no unnecessary parts. – William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills, and meaningless jargon. – William Zinsser A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine with no unnecessary parts. – William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White

Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010) Slide 2 of 3 Eliminating Wordiness Eliminate Redundancies Writers often repeat themselves unnecessarily, thinking that expressions such as cooperate together, yellow in color, or basic essentials add emphasis to their writing. In reality, such redundancies do just the opposite. There is no need to say the same thing twice.  Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist.  Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist. Eliminate Redundancies Writers often repeat themselves unnecessarily, thinking that expressions such as cooperate together, yellow in color, or basic essentials add emphasis to their writing. In reality, such redundancies do just the opposite. There is no need to say the same thing twice.  Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist.  Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist.

Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010) Slide 3 of 3 Eliminating Wordiness Avoid Unnecessary Repetition of Words Though words may be repeated deliberately, for effect, repetitions will seem awkward if they are clearly unnecessary. When a more concise version is possible, choose it.  Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient.  Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill. Avoid Unnecessary Repetition of Words Though words may be repeated deliberately, for effect, repetitions will seem awkward if they are clearly unnecessary. When a more concise version is possible, choose it.  Our fifth patient, in room six, is a mentally ill patient.  Our fifth patient, in room six, is mentally ill.

Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010) Slide 4 of 3 Eliminating Wordiness Cut Empty or Inflated Phrases An empty phrase can be cut with little or no loss of meaning. Common examples are introductory word groups that weaken the writer’s authority by apologizing or hedging: in my opinion, I think that, it seems that, one must admit that, and so on.  At this point in time my skills and experience are a perfect match for the position of assistant manager.  My skills and experience are a perfect match for the position of assistant manager. Cut Empty or Inflated Phrases An empty phrase can be cut with little or no loss of meaning. Common examples are introductory word groups that weaken the writer’s authority by apologizing or hedging: in my opinion, I think that, it seems that, one must admit that, and so on.  At this point in time my skills and experience are a perfect match for the position of assistant manager.  My skills and experience are a perfect match for the position of assistant manager.

Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010) Slide 5 of 3 Eliminating Wordiness Reduce Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to Single Words Word groups functioning as modifiers can often be made more compact. Look for any opportunities to reduce clauses to phrases or phrases to single words.  In the essay that follows, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s claim that we should not lie under any circumstances, which is a problematic claim.  In this essay, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s problematic claim that we should not lie under any circumstances. Reduce Clauses to Phrases, Phrases to Single Words Word groups functioning as modifiers can often be made more compact. Look for any opportunities to reduce clauses to phrases or phrases to single words.  In the essay that follows, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s claim that we should not lie under any circumstances, which is a problematic claim.  In this essay, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s problematic claim that we should not lie under any circumstances.

Hacker and Sommers, The Bedford Handbook, 8th ed. (Boston: Bedford, 2010) Simplify the Structure Look for opportunities to strengthen the verb The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not make an estimate of the company’s future profits. The verb estimate is more vigorous and concise than make an estimate of. Colorless verbs is, are, was, and were frequently generate excess words Investigators were involved in studying studied the effect of classical music on babies. There is and There are generate excess words. There is aAnother module that tells the story of Harry Potter. Simplify the Structure Look for opportunities to strengthen the verb The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not make an estimate of the company’s future profits. The verb estimate is more vigorous and concise than make an estimate of. Colorless verbs is, are, was, and were frequently generate excess words Investigators were involved in studying studied the effect of classical music on babies. There is and There are generate excess words. There is aAnother module that tells the story of Harry Potter. Slide 6 of 3