ENGLCOM-RVLC Bituin, Simon, Villadolid

EVOCATIVE DESCRIPTION  Language is so vivid and realistic that it makes the reader feel as if he/she is in the story, experiencing every event alongside the characters.

Evocative Description  REDUNDANCIES  says the obvious, either something already stated or something any intelligent reader could assume Example:  She gets her information from different books and articles that she has read on the different insecticides.  It was an unexpected surprise when a pair of baby twins was born at 12 midnight Correct:  She gets her insecticide information from books and articles.  It was a surprise when the twins were born at midnight.

RedundancyLean version 12 midnightMidnight 12 noonNoon Close proximityProximity Each and everyEach End resultResult Free giftGift

Evocative Description  HIDDEN SUBJECTS, OBJECTS, AND VERBS  Empty words replace subjects and verbs Example: At the beginning of this ad, it shows the new Infiniti for Correct: The beginning of this ad shows the new Infiniti for 2004.

Evocative Description  METADISCOURSE  Writers give their readers cues for how to read and interpret sentences.  Words that tell readers how to read words  Qualifiers, intensifiers, and other modifiers can be specific aids to reading.

Evocative Description  METADISCOURSE  May take the form of the following:  Transitional adverbs such as however and therefore  Adverbial qualifiers and intensifiers such as nearly and indeed  Indicate time and place  Modifiers that express the writer’s attitude toward the subject

Examples of conjunctive adverbs that can serve as metadiscourse for transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and sentences: Addition/CompareMoreover, furthermore, also, besides, likewise, similarly TimeMeanwhile, after, next, during, later, previously ContrastHowever, instead, on the contrary, on the other hand Resulttherefore, so, consequently, as a result Concessionnevertheless, yet, still, at any rate, after all, of course Summarythus, then, in conclusion Reinforcementfurther, indeed, in particular, above all, in fact

Evocative Description  Metaphors, similes and symbols could be used to give a more detailed description.  Each detail chosen tells us something about the point-of-view character----what they notice, and what they find important.  The sound and sense should be concentrated.  The imagery should be deliberately heightened.

Florida was plenty hot, certainly, and humid, too. Hot enough that your clothes stuck to you like scotch tape, and sweat dripped like tears from your forehead into your eyes. Looking for Alaska by John Green

Evocative Description  MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD  Four informal voices  Tone of voices in three less casual styles  Timbre  That certain something

Informal Voices  Use of Simile Example: “Thoughts, just mere thoughts, are as powerful as electric batteries, as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as a poison.”  Use of Metaphoric Verbs Example: “She cut me off, yet I’m still hoping she would change her mind.”

Informal Voices  Descriptive Example: “My most valuable possession is an old, slightly warped blond guitar--the first instrument I taught myself how to play. It's nothing fancy, just a Madeira folk guitar, all scuffed and scratched and finger-printed. At the top is a bramble of copper-wound strings, each one hooked through the eye of a silver tuning key. The strings are stretched down a long, slim neck, its frets tarnished, the wood worn by years of fingers pressing chords and picking notes. The body of the Madeira is shaped like an enormous yellow pear, one that was slightly damaged in shipping.”

Informal Voices  Combinations of figures of speech Example: “The sun smiled at me when I smiled at it like a toothpaste model.”

Tone of voice in less casual style  Academic tone Informal: When I got my students to think science was wicked cool, their test scores went through the roof! When I asked for their spin on their improvement, they just said the test felt like a piece of cake to them after I had implemented the new curriculum changes. Revised to be more formal: When I was able to engage my students and get them interested in science, their test scores improved significantly. I asked a few students why they thought the scores had improved, and they admitted that the test seemed much easier because of the new curriculum.

Timbre  Each written voice – like a spoken voice – has a certain resonance Example: “For my part, like is so many things I don't care what it is. It's not my affair to sum it up. Just now it's a cup of tea. This morning it was a wormwood and gall. Hand me the sugar.”

That certain ‘something’  Just by simply reading, we cannot define the voice. To know what voice is being used, you need to let your senses take over.

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