1 DEALING WITH ANGRY CUSTOMERS, CO- WORKERS AND RESIDENTS

2 Department of Adult Education Lori Looney, Workplace Instructor Bluegrass Community and Technical College 164 Opportunity Way Lexington, KY

3 TRAINING SESSION OVERVIEW DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGER DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGER PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS

4 What Angry People Want They want what they want They want what they want They want help They want help They want choices They want choices They want acknowledgement They want acknowledgement I WANT….

5 Why do people become hostile? Revert to primitive, instinctual behavior when threatened Revert to primitive, instinctual behavior when threatened Control/manipulate environment Control/manipulate environment

6 The Rules of the Hostility Game Taking The Bait Rule 1: When attacked you will respond defensively. Rule 1: When attacked you will respond defensively. Rule 2: When attacked you will counterattack. Rule 2: When attacked you will counterattack.

7 Other is ready to get angry Reactive, sensitive, feels powerless, fearful Feels depersonalized Feels unimportant The Hostility Game 1. Initial Contact

8 The Hostility Game Bureaucratic (robotic, technical) Triggered (takes bait) Defensive (cold, terse) Passive (unhelpful) Impatient (lack of listening) 2. Employee Responses

9 The Hostility Game Increased frustration Increased helplessness and fear Increased aggression Becomes more abusive 3. Other’s Reactions

10 The Hostility Game Defends or counter-attacks More triggers Less self-control More aggressive or colder Even less helpful sounding Escalation to Crisis Loss of Control Violence Potential 4. Employee Reactions

11 Beating the Hostility Game

12 Overview of the Defusing Process The CARP System C ontrol (get them to stop & listen) C ontrol (get them to stop & listen) A cknowledge (ID feelings) A cknowledge (ID feelings) R efocus (agree to work on problem) R efocus (agree to work on problem) P roblem-Solve (ID problem; look for solutions) P roblem-Solve (ID problem; look for solutions)

13 The Art of Self-Control Tactic 1: Identify your triggers Tactic 1: Identify your triggers Tactic 2: Slow down your responses Tactic 2: Slow down your responses Tactic 3: Take a time out Tactic 3: Take a time out Tactic 4: I’m better than that Tactic 4: I’m better than that Tactic 5: I’m not getting suckered Tactic 5: I’m not getting suckered

14 Tactic 6: I won’t pay the price Tactic 7: Put on their shoes Tactic 8: Observing Tactic 9: Preparing Tactic 10: Humor Tactic 11: Venting/not venting The Art of Self-Control

15 Use Empathy Statements Usually short and to the point Allow the other to respond Use the broken record technique Don’t use the word “but” Don’t restate the obvious Be careful of your tone Don’t use “I”

16 Control & Acknowledge Countering Nonverbal Intimidation The Stand-Up Shuffle The Stand-Up Shuffle –Confrontational Positioning –Less Confrontational Positioning  Right Angles  Side by Side

17 Control & Acknowledge Assertive Limit Setting Describe the Unacceptable Behavior Describe the Unacceptable Behavior Request Behavior Change Request Behavior Change State Consequences State Consequences –Use Cooperative Language –Use Enforceable Consequences Offer Choices Offer Choices

18 Enforce Limits Enforce Limits –Refer to the limits stated previously –Request they comply with the consequence –Offer further help

19 Control & Acknowledge Time-Out Disengaging Disengaging –allows for time for other to reflect –allows you time to reflect and regain control –Use plausible reasons –Variations

20 Planning for the Referral When does the supervisor want to be involved? What does the supervisor want to know about beforehand? When will supervisor be available for referrals? Any particular mechanics preferred?

21 Refocus Transition from dealing with emotions to dealing with the actual problem

22 Problem Solving What is Problem Solving? What is Problem Solving? –Arriving at a decision regarding what you will do –Taking into account the rules and the concerns of the other

23 Telephone Hostility Use a Stronger Tone Use a Stronger Tone Use a Very Quiet Tone Use a Very Quiet Tone Stress the More Obvious Word Stress the More Obvious Word Use other Relevant Tactics Use other Relevant Tactics

24 Intoxicated People Work to Termination Work to Termination Keep it Simple Keep it Simple

25 TRAINING SESSION REVIEW DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGER DISCOVER CAUSES AND GOALS OF ANGER PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME PLAY THE HOSTILITY GAME DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER DEFUSE OTHERS’ ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER PLAN RESPONSE TO ANGER CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS CONTROL HOSTILE ENCOUNTERS