Show Me Exploding Moments How to ‘Explode the Moment’ and “Show, not Tell” In Writing

“I Can See It On Your Face” Discussion: How do you know when your mother is upset? ( Does she have to say “ I am angry”) How do you know when a friend is sad or not feeling well?

“I Can See It On Your Face” Most people can tell how someone is feeling before that person ever tells them. The same should be true for your writing. The reader should be able to “see” how your character is feeling through detail before you “tell” them.

“I Can See It On Your Face” Take a look at this sentence: The old man stood in the grass and relaxed as the sun went down. How does the man feel? What word in the sentence told you that? How can we show how he feels rather than tell?

Show Me Take a look at this sentence: How does the man feel? The grass caressed his feet and a smile softened his eyes. A hot puff of air brushed against his wrinkled cheek as the sky paled yellow, then crimson, and within a breath, electric indigo. How does the man feel? How is this sentence different?

Show Me To show instead of tell consider: Word Choice- Use specific words Descriptive Language- Adjectives Sensory Language- Use words that describe

Sensory Words The grass caressed his feet and a smile softened his eyes. A hot puff of air brushed against his wrinkled cheek as the sky paled yellow, then crimson, and within a breath, electric indigo. Felt- caressed, hot, brushed Sight- softened, wrinkled, paled, yellow, crimson, electric, indigo

Explode the Moment explode. Write the section that you want to explode. Draw the symbols/ or Write the words underneath. Write words that appeal to the senses, add detail to the sentence, or help create more sentences that show rather than tell

The boy pulled a large fish out of the river. How would the boy feel? Lets Try It The boy pulled a large fish out of the river. How would the boy feel?

The boy pulled a large fish out of the river. Explode the Moment Sentence: The boy pulled a large fish out of the river. Lets say he’s excited. How does an excited person LOOK? What would they SAY? What would they THINK? What ACTIONS express his excitement?

Lets Try It Excited Boy Fish River Says Thinks Feels Does Hears

Explode the Moment The boy pulled a large fish out of the river. What does the boy DO? What words can be used to describe what he is DOING?

Explode the Moment The boy pulled a large fish out of the river. But keep going… The boy pulled a large fish out of the river. What did the fish LOOK like ? What did the fish DO? What does the river look like? How does the river sound? How does the river feel to the touch?

Criteria for a Good Explosion Five or more examples appealing to the senses Uses specific examples and language Includes dialogue or quotation that readers can infer from but does not tell the reader what to think. Allows audience to make inferences about the event and characters that can be well supported

On Your Own The girl stood on the corner of the busy intersection and witnessed the accident as it happened. The woman had a terrible headache. The meadow slowly came to life as the sun came up. The hunted creature ran through the thick forest and screamed as the thorns cut into his skin.