TDEC: ELABORATION

TDE T-thesis or topic sentence D-details (evidence) E-elaboration (context for evidence)

CHOOSING DETAIL When your write out a detail, you need to then decide which parts are worthy of a direct quote, and which parts you can paraphrase. Ex: The narrator says,“Then we crossed a wide plain, and there was a big river off on the right shining in the sun from between the line of trees, and way off you could see the plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (Hemingway 98). This quote is too long. When you have more quoted material than your own words, you have a problem.

CHOOSING DETAIL Original: The narrator says,“Then we crossed a wide plain, and there was a big river off on the right shining in the sun from between the line of trees, and way off you could see the plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (Hemingway 98). Improved: As Jake travels across the countryside of Spain, he describes the river “shining in the sun” and the “plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (Hemingway 98). Both of the quoted pieces contain powerful imagery and alliteration, which is best quoted directly. The rest of it could be paraphrased.

QUOTE WEAVING Never dump your quote. You end up with a run-on. Always weave the quote into a sentence. Dumped quote: Jake travels across the countryside of Spain, “there was a big river shining in the sun” (Hemingway 98). Never leave a quote hanging in mid-air: Hanging Quote: Jake travels across the countryside of Spain. “There was a big river shining in the sun” (Hemingway 98).

QUOTE WEAVING Your quote should always be woven into a sentence: Woven Quote: As Jake travels across the countryside of Spain, he describes the river “shining in the sun” and the “plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (Hemingway 98). Notice how spoken aloud, the quote sounds like a complete sentence. Some strategies for this is starting the quote with a verb or noun, so you can integrate it into your sentence.

QUOTE WEAVING Keep your sentence in 3 rd person present. Changed tense: Bill claims “I know who they are” (Hemingway 78). 3 rd person consistency: Bill claims that he “know[s] who they are” (Hemingway 78).

PARENTHETICAL CITATION Cite your quote at the end of the sentence containing the quote. The author’s name and the pg. # go in parentheses after the closing quotation mark. The period goes after the closing parentheses. Ex: Bill claims that he “know[s] who they are” (Hemingway 78). After the first time you mention the author’s name in the your writing, you don’t have to include it in your citations. Ex: In The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway the theme is the idea that…. Bill claims that he “know[s] who they are” (78).

ELABORATION Elaboration for direct quotes should be factual. You should address the following topics when creating elaboration: 1.Placement of the D and what happened leading up to it. 2.Context of the D being used; what is happening at the time? 3.Devices being used in the D 4.Paraphrasing the D if the quote is hard to understand by itself.

ELABORATION As Jake travels across the countryside of Spain, he describes the river “shining in the sun” and the “plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (99). E-placement: Towards the middle of the book. E-context: Jake is traveling to Pamplona with Robert Cohn and Bill after being in bustling, urban Paris. E-device: imagery and alliteration

DETAIL/ELABORATION Towards the middle of the book, Jake travels with Robert Cohn and Bill across the countryside of Spain, away from the bustling, urban Paris. He employs imagery and alliteration to describe the river “shining in the sun” and the “plateau of Pamplona rising out of the plain…” (99). What do you notice about the colors?