 Stress is a mismatch between the demands in our lives and the resources we have to deal with those demands.  This mismatch is often caused by changes, either large or small  Stress is not an event, but your reaction to the event

Pain, injury, and illness Divorce or Financial Crisis of the family Death or loss of a loved one.

Tests Homework School Grades Busy schedules Fights with friends Bullies Family problems Wanting to be like by others Worries about world events Team tryouts

Children respond by what they experienced in the past insignificant to adults, but small changes can impact a child's feelings of safety and security.

It’s physical-fight or flight response, adrenaline. Our bodies are all geared up with nowhere to go…if we do nothing we remain in a state of unproductive tension Examples- Instant Replays Lack of Sleep Illness

IT’s Mental- Stress is not all in your head, but that’s where you start -Events don’t cause stress, it’s how you interpret and react to them

Stress CAN be GOOD! - Most people work best under pressure - It can be a powerful source of growth - We often learn the most when we are forced to

Stress is Harmful - Stress hurts when it becomes a way of life Heart disease, ulcers, cancer, anger, and drugs.

The Annoyance List Overload Assessment Personality Type How much stress can you take by Dr. Thomas H. Holmes Kids Love THEM!

 I have to be the best at everything  Everyone must like me  I Cannot make a mistake  If someone disagrees with me, they don’t like me  I can’t make a decision, because if it’s wrong, I’ll regret it forever  The embarrassment will NEVER end  Life isn’t fair  It’s just bad luck

Cry more than usual, frequent, urination, grinding teeth, nightmares, BAD LUCK Can’t sleep/sleep more Eat More Irritability/overly sensitive Caffeine/lack of food/change in diet Manifestation of pain, migraines, obsessions Difficulty focusing/constant motion Don’t feel like doing anything/lack of emotion

Of all the things we’ve worried about, how many came true….Multiply by 10 for a kid. Has this happened before, what did I learn, worst possible, scenario, 5 years from now, magic carpet Pain body Responsibility

How do we cope? Flexibility Receiving constructive criticism openly Dismissing negative attacks Taking control of your actions..accepting when YOU messed up Talking about it….I am really mad right now and it’s not your fault but… BAD= Denial

Problems, Challenges, Possibilities Irrational statement-make it rational Make Connections-OPRAH- people who feel lucky have friends, relatives, work colleagues..etc., Help your kids make those connections ALWAYS remember kids model what YOU do Chores can calm you down Animals can be therapeutic too Worry Jar

Get up early Journal Draw it, paint it Don’t put it off Be prepared to Wait Know you won’t get along with everyone Help Someone Laugh Listen to Music, take a bath Forgive and forget the past…we all mess up Breathe

Vision Board EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXCERCISE Positive Self-Talk People and the Drama Triangle One item a week Motivation- Famous people Let them make decisions-codependency and it’s effects The POT Practice Saying, “NO.” Rewrite your script- 3 columns (would happen, reaction, self-talk) Know your Patterns/Triggers- poster (foods)

Seeks help Sense of belonging at school Low levels of family stress Secure relationships Avoids negative peer pressure

Consistent, dependable, schedule Monitor TV and news Calm Time- example- (compliments) Encourage your child to ask questions. Encourage expression of concerns, worries, or fears. Listen to your child without being critical. Affection and include them situations where he or she can succeed. Keep your child informed of necessary and anticipated changes such as changes in jobs or moving-Truth Seek professional help or advice when signs of stress do not decrease or disappear.

Mrs. Gail Hague-Duquesne University Stress can Really Get on Your Nerves! By Trevor Romain & Elizabeth Verdick More Stuff to Help Kids Chill Out- The Anger and Stress Management Book By Jerry Wilde, PHD Jayne M. Treinen-Yager and Geoffrey Yager, PHDs- University of Cincinnati