STOP BULLYING: Brought to you by Counseling & Student Services

Bullying 160,000 + students per day stay home from school in the US because of fear of being bullied 80% of children report being victimized by a bully at least once Persistent bullying leaves long-term scares on victims 15% of victims report severe reactions Additional facts included in bullying document.

Bullying 60% of children identified as bullies by age eight have at least one criminal conviction by age twenty-four Additional facts included in bullying document.

What Is Bullying Cyberbullying Intentional aggressive behavior involving an imbalance of power or strength that is often repeated over time Cyberbullying an aggressive, intentional act carried out by a group or individual, using electronic forms of contact, repeatedly and over time against a victim who cannot easily defend him or herself

Types of Bullies Action-oriented Physical Bullies Verbal Bullies Action-oriented Includes hitting, kicking, slapping, pinching, biting, poking, choking, destroying personal belongings Includes name calling, teasing, cruel criticism, racist slurs and more Can take place in person, over the phone, in e-mail More emotional then it is physical Includes ignoring, isolating, excluding and shunning Relational Bullies Bully/victims because they straddle the fence of being a bully and/or victim Taunting “stronger” bullies Reactive Victims Girls tend to work differently than boys. They tend to use psychological-emotional cruelty rather than physical abuse. For example, girls Are not usually confrontational (although this behavior is changing) Often manipulate weaker members of the “clique” to actually harass the victim. Spread rumors. Use “freeze-out” or “exile” tactics to gain control. Most commonly work with other members of the group forming and exclusive group of peers.

Individual Psychological Factors Parental / Family Relationships Causes of Bullying Individual Psychological Factors Parental / Family Relationships School Factors

Characteristics of Bullies Low Self-Esteem Difficulty Using Non-Violent Problem Solving Skills Uses Bullying Behaviors To Control His/Her Victim(s) Difficulty Maintaining Long-term Relationships Lacks Compassion For Victim(s) Seeks Power And Control Power Control

School & Bullying Researchers state that bullying is too pervasive and damaging for educators to ignore. Approximately 10 to 12% of children say their lives are “miserable in school” as a result of bullying. (Dr. John Hoover, associate professor of teaching and learning at the University of North Dakota, 2000.) Stresses of being bullied can interfere with student's engagement and learning in school (NEA Today, 1999) Bullying creates a climate of fear and disrespect in schools and has a negative impact on student learning (NEA, 2003) Dr. Dan Olweus, professor of psychology at the University of Bergen in Norway, found that children in Sweden, US, Canada, England, and Japan resulted in from 10 to 24% of children surveyed were bullied in school. All studies indicate a wide gap between the percent of children experiencing bullying and the amount reported by teachers. Both male and female bullies tend to have troubled backgrounds such as family problems, experienced bullying in the past, a history of physical or emotional abuse, influenced by the media, and inconsistent discipline at home.

WCPSS Policy (6414) It is the priority of the Wake County Board of Education to provide every student and employee in the school system with a safe and orderly learning and working environment. To this end, the Board specifically prohibits harassing or bullying behavior at all levels. All complaints of harassing or bullying behavior made by students shall be promptly and thoroughly investigated by the principal or designee. Violations of this policy shall be considered misconduct and will result in disciplinary action up to and including long- term suspension or expulsion in the case of students. Policy: http://www.wcpss.net/policy-files/series/policies/print-friendly/6414-bp.html

Bullying Happens In… Verbal Taunting Nasty Notes Threats Racial Baiting Gender Issues Physical Issues … the Classroom … the Hallway … the Playground … the Street or Bus Stop

Is Your Child Being Bullied? Few, if any, friends Moody, Fearful, Nervous Appears Anxious Withdraws From Usual Activities Drop in School Achievement Bruises, Torn Clothes, etc. Avoids attending school May exhibit bullying behaviors

How Can Parents Help? Be supportive Listen, get the facts, assess the child’s feelings Let the child know it’s not his/her fault Praise the child for discussing the bullying Find out what the child feels he/she needs to feel safe Encourage and support child in making friends Communicate with the school

How Can Parents Help? Let the school know the who, what, when, where of the bullying Let the school officials contact the other child’s parents Talk regularly with your child and the school to assess if the bullying has stopped Help develop your child’s talents or positive attributes to increase self-esteem

Teaching Assertive Skills Confront Turn and face the bully Say “Keep away from me!” If bullying continues - Report the incident to another adult Teach Assertive Behaviors

Teaching Assertive Skills Demonstrate assertive skills Teach steps used to deal with bullying - Ignore - Avoid - Confront Intervene (if necessary) Say it is OK to seek help from adults We are here to help! You are not a Victim! Demonstrate assertive behavior - role-play using puppets. Emphasize that it is okay to say “No” to unacceptable demands. Do not be afraid to intervene when interactions seem headed for trouble. Discuss what the children want and allow them to suggest ways to solve the problem. Seek out Help when confronted by a bully - physical, sexual, psychological. Discuss three steps used when faced with bullying Ignore, Wake Away, Confront Group Activity: Materials: pens, markers, chart paper *Remember that children must be prepared to respond to a bully when confronting. Teach confronting statements - “No, teasing is not showing respect.” or “When you say …., you are not being a friend.” *Generate a list of possible statements as a group or in small groups. Share information with the group.

Teaching Assertive Skills Replay Conflict Make Different Choices Define Aggression Bossiness Discrimination Reward Use of Positive Social Skills Replay conflict: Following an incident between children, involve them in a replay of the conflict. Allow them to suggest other ways to solve the problem. *This is a great opportunity to use reflective writing or journaling after discussing the incident. Avoid “why” questions and blaming comments. Stick to the FACTS!! Suggest the following questions: “What did you want?” “Did your actions get you what you wanted?” “What other ways might you use to get what you want and respect the other person? Allow children to retell the scenario using different ways to solve the problem. Making Choices: Encourage children to not give up territory or objects to bullies. Practice using statements such as “I’m playing with this toy now.” *Allow parents to share some of the statements they encourage their child to use when playing with “bossy” friends. Record the statements on a chart. Small Group Activity: Members write definitions for vocabulary (aggression, bossiness, and discrimination) and statements they might encourage a child to use when confronted by bullies. Reward Use of Prosocial Skills: Stress that reward may be an “at-a-way” statement rather than a material reward.

Work With School Staff Involvement Listening Building Teams Collaboration Support Anti-Bullying Policies

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