ASSERTIVENESS ASSERTIVENESS SKILL TRAINING SESSION -1

HUMAN BEHAVIOR Humans tend to respond instinctively i.e.- humans have a natural tendency to react by default and not by design In a Conflicting Situation - We respond by either avoiding or Confronting Confronting is FIGHT Behavior Avoiding is FLIGHT Behavior

ASSERTIVENESS What is assertiveness - – Being able to say what you feel/ need / want in a confident manner – Without violating other person’s rights and – Expressing your thoughts, feelings in a honest and appropriate way – Whilst remaining aware of other people’s feelings and needs.

ASSERTIVENESS Assertiveness is –an acquired skill –shows us how to be moderate –respond intellectually rather than emotionally. An Example : –Someone keeps disagreeing with your ideas. An assertive response would be “ I appreciate that you want to see improvements as much as I do,yet you keep finding faults with my ideas.What can I suggest that would be more acceptable to you”

POINTS TO REMEMBER Assertion is based on the belief that we have needs to be met,others have needs to be met;we have something to contribute,others have something to contribute. It is characterized by statements that value ourselves and also value others. The aim should not be just to gain a win,the aim should be to solve the problem and get the best result.

Assertive behavior does not come naturally to all because we have all learned passive/submissive or aggressive behaviors to stave off confrontational situations.However,these behaviors can be unlearned and assertiveness can be used to produce results in which both parties benefit. Assertion should not be synonymous with aggression because aggressive people adopt an I WIN-YOU LOOSE attitude to achieve their objectives ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR

AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR You are being aggressive when you : Stand up for your own rights in such a way that you violate the rights of another person. Express thoughts,feelings and beliefs which may be honest or dishonest,but in inappropriate ways. An example : someone keeps disagreeing with your ideas. An aggressive response would be,to hell with your objections.Just listen to me and I will spell out what I want to happen.”

AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR can provoke hostility,situations can escalate and go out of control relationships suffer resentment and non-cooperative ness people may get hurt,humiliated, demoralized and de motivated

Submissive / Passive Behavior You are being submissive when you: Fail to stand up for your rights or do so in such a way that others can easily disregard them Express your thoughts,feelings and beliefs in apologetic,diffident or self-effacing ways Fail to express honest thoughts,feelings or beliefs An Example : Someone keeps disregarding with your ideas.A submissive response would be: well,I suppose you have got a point.My ideas probably wouldn't have worked out in practice.

PASSIVE BEHAVIOR can initiate annoyance Personal credibility goes down since people start perceiving one as spineless can be manipulated by others others can feel irritated,angry or resentful Fewer contacts

ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR Communication is more effective. People know where they are with you. Open and honest relationship with people at work, at home and with customers. Resolving conflicting situation in more appropriate way. Better chances of what you want.

To Sum Up Passive behavior allows others to get what they want or need at your expense Aggressive behavior is getting what you want or need at the expense of others Assertiveness is getting what you want or need without infringing on the rights of others

CONSOLIDATION EXERCISE IMAGINE A SCENE – You have been asked to discuss a business proposition with an important client over lunch and have taken him or her to an expensive restaurant.You have both chosen soup as a starter.When it arrives it is cold.As you are host,you feel you should do something about it.

Which Among These Responses Are Assertive, Aggressive and Passive RESPONSES 1.You push the soup away. 2. You start eating the the soup. 3.You ask your client,lets try some other restaurant 4.Complain loudly,it’s the last time I am visiting your restaurant 5.Tell the waiter,I would like to see the manager

6.Tell the waiter you would like the price of the soup deducted from the bill 7.Tell the waiter,this soup is disgusting.Take it away and get us some decently prepared food at once. 8.Tell the waiter,when he comes to collect the dishes,I am sorry but I am afraid we could not finish the soup.The flavor was quite nice but it was not very warm. Which Among These Responses Are Assertive, Aggressive and Passive

Response III - Assertive ( Max. = 36) I - Aggressive( Max = 36)II - Submissive( Max =36)