Style Workshop Professor Louise Wetherbee Phelps

Punctuating Compounds Wrong I had a better understanding about the definition of a protocol, and the process of designing one. RIGHT I had a better understanding about the definition of a protocol and the process of designing one

Wrong The letter serves to introduce, and is therefore very formal. Right The letter serves to introduce and is therefore very formal. Right To serve as an introduction, the letter needs to be formal.

Wrong It can be difficult for a woman to find a good fit with a company that respects her status as a woman, and that appreciates her needs and priorities as a woman. Right It can be difficult for a woman to find a good fit with a company that respects her status as a woman and that appreciates her needs and priorities as a woman.

Wrong The interview we completed was a good one and I feel the report represents the depth of our learning. Right The interview we completed was a good one, and I feel the report represents the depth of our learning. Right The report represents the depth of our learning, reflecting a good interview.

(Not) Splitting Subjects and Verbs (Predicates) Wrong Much of what is communicated among colleagues, is now done through electronic mail. Right Much of what is communicated among colleagues is now done through electronic mail.

Unintended Fragments Wrong One of which is “Women in IT.” Right It is distributed to certain groups, one of which is “Women in IT.”

Punctuating Parenthetical Expressions (Added Information): Enclosing in Commas Text, transitional word, text. Text, phrase, text. Text, clause, text.

Wrong Plus, it is also an instant form of communication. Right It is, moreover, an instant form of communication. Wrong/Immature There is only one graphic image in the entire Handbook, which is a blurred content of the city of Onondaga and this is placed on the front cover. Right/Mature The only graphic in the entire handbook, a blurred image of the city of Onondaga, is placed on the front cover.

Wrong Patricia explained that , although it is common in many businesses is not as important as we expected it to be. Patricia explained that although is common in many businesses, it is not as important as we expected it to be. Right Patricia explained that , although it is common in many businesses, is not as important as we expected it to be. Patricia explained that, although is not common in many businesses, it is not as important as we expected it to be.

Using Commas for Non-Essential Elements Attached at Beginning and Ends of Sentences Some transitional words, x [subject and predicate]. Introductory phrase, x. Introductory clause, x. X [subject and predicate], non-essential phrase. X, non-essential clause. Note: Comma sometimes optional. Test for readability.

Wrong Thus, the report must follow certain rules. However professional writing is important for dealing with clients. Right Thus the report must follow certain rules. However, professional writing is important for dealing with clients. At times it was difficult for me to come up with effective questions. Without it, no one would pay.

Wrong If the need arose for further training in professional writing courses would be available. Right If the need arose for further training in professional writing, courses would be available.

Right The department would make courses available if the need arose for further training. Wrong The department will make courses available but only if the need arises for further training. Right The department will make courses available, but only if the need arises for further training.

Using Semi-Colons and Colons Use semi-colons to join sentences with no conjunction or transition word. Use semi-colons to join sentences with transition words (; however, therefore, nevertheless, etc.) and expressions (; for example, in contrast, on the other hand, etc.). Use a colon to introduce examples, lists, and quotations. Use a colon to join sentences when the second one sums up or illustrates or is equivalent to the first.

Wrong I had a faint idea, however it turned out to be wrong. I had a faint idea, however, it turned out to be wrong. I had a faint idea however, it turned out to be wrong. Right I had a faint idea. However, it turned out to be wrong. I had a faint idea; however, it turned out to be wrong. Although I had a faint idea, it turned out to be wrong. I had a faint idea, which turned out to be wrong.

Wrong Land is divided into distinct pieces with given bearings and distances; meaning a person owns a very specific piece of land. Right Land is divided into distinct pieces with given bearings and distances, meaning that a person owns a very specific piece of land. Wrong He wasn’t sure exactly how they were supposed to be written, he could only look up the formats in books. Right He wasn’t sure exactly how they were supposed to be written; he could only look up the formats in books.

Wrong Many of the documents are handwritten including: casual post-it notes, sketches, and the message book. Right Many of the documents are handwritten, including casual post-it notes, sketches, and the message book. Many documents are handwritten, including these: casual post-it notes, sketches, and the message book. Here are some of the handwritten documents: casual post-it notes, sketches, and the message book.

Parallelism Edit series, pairs, or lists so that they express parallel ideas in the same grammatical form.

Wrong I really appreciate the time you were able to spend with me and for your very helpful responses. Right I really appreciate the time you were able to spend with me and the responses you provided. I really appreciate your time and your very helpful responses. Wrong This process yields both team expertise, but also a well-revised document.

Right This process yields both team expertise and a well- revised document. This process yields not only team expertise but also a well-revised document.

Possessives and Its/It’s Wrong Writing has rules and factors that change it’s setup. Closer analysis also provides insight into the documents brief but effective language. In such an environment ones writing ability is very important. A major part of writing is to know what you’re audiences wants.

Right Writing has rules and factors that change its setup. Closer analysis also provides insight into the document’s brief but effective language. Closer analysis also provides insight into the brief but effective language of the document. In such an environment one’s writing ability is very important. A major part of writing is to know what your audience wants.

Plurals and Singulars Wrong When a Dean is being reviewed for promotion, they must have a reviewer from another university. Each individual receives a “Blackberry” that they are to keep on them at all times. I was unaware of how many vital aspects of the piece there was. Right When deans are reviewed for promotion, they must each have a reviewer from another university. Each individual receives a “Blackberry” to keep on hand at all times. I was unaware of how many vital aspects of the piece there were.

That/which/who Wrong They are written for managers that are pressed for time. Right They are written for managers, who are pressed for time. They are written for managers who are pressed for time. They are written for managers pressed for time.

This/Which: Clear Reference Wrong This paints the picture that no matter who you are you can find your niche at the company. There are pictures of women with their families, which reveals that family is a priority. A good example of this is the first sentence of the second section. Right This brochure paints the picture that no matter who you are you can find your niche at the company. Pictures of women with their families reveal that family is a priority.

Combining Sentences for Mature Writing Strings of Ideas (linked by and, so, then, therefore... ) She is the one that the business goes through and she is very proud of her ability to make things work smoothly. Mr. U knows that people are often skeptical when being solicited, and he wants to put every fear at rest. The interview we completed was a good one, so I feel the report represents the depth of our learning. It was written to a coworker. Therefore, he did not have to worry about it being crystal clear. When a company needs to export goods, they call Ms. M. She will then contact the carrier and arrange the pickup.