13 Nov. 2012 “ Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”—Mark.

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13 Nov “ Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”—Mark Twain

Bellwork—Grammar Refresher 11 /13/2012  The paragraph below contains common mistakes: sentence fragments, comma splices, run-ons, and wordy constructions/weak verbs. Read through the paragraph and identify the mistakes in your bellwork journal; then make corrections on your sheet showing the correct wording & punctuation needed to fix the mistake.  1 Researchers unwrapped the mummy containing the carefully preserved body of a woman in an ancient tomb, it had been wound in twenty layers of silk. 2 It turned out that the body was a Chinese aristocrat named Lady Dai she was embalmed in a bath of mercury salts. 3 When she died around 168 BC. 4 Bamboo matting and five tons of charcoal. 5 Absorbed excess water in the tomb and kept the body dry. 6 The body of another Chinese princess had been buried in a magnificent jade suit. 7 Jade was also believed to preserve bodies, the body had decayed, unlike Lady Dai’s.

Paragraph corrections  Sentence 1: C-S  Sentence 2: Wordy & Run-on  Sentence 3: SF  Sentence 4: SF  Sentence 5: SF  Sentence 6: No errors  Sentence 7: CS

Revising vs. Editing  Today we focus on EDITING—External Sheen ReviseFocus on Internal Structure Ideas, content, organization, word choice, strong verbs, voice, EditFocus on External Sheen Grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, eliminating weak verbs and weak words.

Prepare for Peer Editing 1. At the top of your essay, write down specific editing things you want help with: run-on sentences, wordy constructions, sentence fragments, spelling, punctuation. 2. Get in groups of three and edit each others’ papers; fill out bottom rows of yellow revise/edit sheet. 3. When done, discuss each paper with the author. 4. Once everyone has read through papers & discussed, read through your own paper making corrections in the margins. Final essays due next class period! Bring all drafts to class and yellow revise/edit sheet.