Coping with Bullying Dr Brendan Byrne Intermediate School Killorglin Wednesday 14th October 2015 Dr Brendan Byrne

Introduction n You can never see inside somebody else’s head n Each person has a right to be who and what they are

Definition n Bullying is unwanted negative behaviour, verbal, psychological or physical conducted, by an individual or group against another person (or persons) and which is repeated over time. Anti-Bullying Procedures for Primary and Post-Primary Schools. Department of Education and Science. September 2013.

Descriptions n Bullying is an abuse of power n Bullying is the breaking down of a person (16 year old boy)

General Points n Bullying affects everyone in the classroom n Name calling/Slagging n Advice: Ignore/Answer back n Best Advice: Assertiveness especially with reference to eye contact

n ‘Swot’ category n ‘Dual’ category n The ‘Provocative’ Victim

Parents n Why people don’t tell if they are being bullied: Ratting Shame Different advice especially with reference to retaliation

n Listening n Contact with the school Telephone Letter Exception n Keep a written record- When, where, who, what

Signs/Symptoms n A child who has been happy at school losing interest and enthusiasm for school. This may be reflected in school performance n Requests for parents to drive them to school, or collect them

n Damage to bicycles or personal property, e.g. clothes, books, or loss of same n A child returning from school in very bad humour but reluctant to say why

n Unexplained changes of mood. These will often occur before the restart of school e.g. at the end of a weekend n Frequent minor illnesses, especially headaches and tummyaches

n An increase in requests for money n Unexplained cuts or bruises n Recurring nightmares n Bed-wetting

Helping a Child who is a Victim of Bullying n Not your problem n Self Esteem-Confidence Activities Abilities Appearance n Assertiveness- Body language,voice

n Live in the present n Friends

Helping a Child involved in Bullying Behaviour n Try to find out why n Offer alternative ways of behaving: Responsibility Sport n Punish the behaviour not the person

Community n Parents/Guardians n Teachers n Students n Non-Teaching Staff n Bus Drivers n Gardai

What is Cyberbullying?  Cyberbullies use the internet or mobile phones to send hurtful messages or post information to damage people’s reputation and friendships n Cyberbullies can be classmates, online acquaintances, and even anonymous users, but most often they do know their victim

Tips for Parents n Be the one to introduce your child to the web. n Don’t be too critical of your child’s exploration of the internet. n Encourage them to be careful when disclosing personal information n Keep the computer or laptop in a shared area of the house

n The positive aspects of the internet outweigh the negative n Report online material you may consider illegal to the appropriate authorities n Talk about the risks of meeting online friends. Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr(blogging) and the new chat apps such as WhatsApp and Kik Messenger(where groups can share pictures and messages are now snapping at the heels of Facebook as the top networking site).

n Encourage your children to be critical of information they find online. n Encourage respect for others as in everyday life. n Know your child’s internet use. n This generation’s digital footprint will have begun at 10 or 11. n Children of 10 or 11 are now clamouring to be on Twitter or Instagram.

n Young children should never access the digital world without an adult there to hold their hands. n Two hours’ screen time a day(including TV) is increasingly accepted by experts as a healthy maximum. n Two worth avoiding are: Omegle which sets up conversations with strangers, and Snapchat, where you can share pictures which then disappear(but there is nothing to stop someone taking a screen shot of the picture and sharing it.

 Watch out for things like absenteeism from school; sad or angry especially after using phone or PC; sudden disinterest in computers; rapidly switching screens when you enter the room

Key Advice for Young People  Don’t reply to messages that harass or annoy you even though this might be your first reaction n Keep the message. You don’t have to read it. Keep a record that outlines the details, dates and times of any form of bullying that you experience

Useful Websites  Provides parents, teachers and students with educational resources, advice and information about potential dangers on-line  Advice on managing children’s profiles on social networking sites  Office for Internet Safety. Get With It. A Guide to Cyberbullying. Can be downloaded