CM 220 Unit 7 Seminar - Conciseness. What’s wrong here? It was after she was hired and began working at her current job, that Jessica discovered she was.

Slides:

Advertisements

Similar presentations

VAGUE VERBIAGE Writing More Good Module 3 Tracey Krska.

Advertisements

Using Reader- Focused Language C H A P T E R 8. How Do You Use Specific and Clear Language? How Do You Use Only Words Your Readers Need? How Do You Use.

(Conciseness) I have made this letter longer than usual, only because I have not had time to make it shorter. --Blaise Pascal.

Avoid Excess Wordiness

Guide 3 Write in an Efficient, Action- Oriented Style.

o Wordiness occurs when a writer uses words or phrases that seem to modify a noun but do not actually add to the meaning of the sentence. o Although such.

Improving Sentence Concision and Coherence. How does making sentence concise and coherent improve your argument?

BUSINESS LETTER LANGUAGE. Language used in business letters A letter that sounds impersonal and unfriendly can damage the image of an organization (even.

ACTIVE AND PASSIVE VOICE

A CTIVE VS. P ASSIVE V OICE English 1 Level 2. W HAT IS P ASSIVE V OICE ? In sentences written in passive voice, the subject receives the action expressed.

20-23 Word Choice: Redundancy, Tone, and Style. Delete synonymous and wordy material in a sentence Incorrect: The firefighter put out the hot fire. Correct:

Writing Effective Sentences. Misplaced Modifiers A misplaced modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that is improperly separated from the word it modifies.

Donna Kain Business Writing Workshop Frank Hurley and Donna Kain.

ACADEMIC WRITING I May 8 th Today Continue business writing (writing a business letter) Information for Paper 4.

Your Reactions to the Editing Assignment? What was hard? What was easy? Was it a useful exercise? – Is there a way for me to tailor the assignment to make.

© 2007 Thomson South-Western Multimedia Instructor Version CHAPTER 4 Revising and Proofreading Business Messages.

Avoid wordiness: Use specific words. Concise writing expresses ideas without unnecessary wordiness. Wordiness not only increases the length of your work.

Adverbs of Frequency.

Writing Concisely: Methods for Eliminating Wordiness Danika Rockett WRIT 300 Summer 09.

The Paramedic Method: How to Revive and Polish Your Writing.

PREPOSITION CHECK Circle the preposition and underline the preposition phrase.

Conciseness And Emphasis

Writing an English paper. Writing an English Paper What is an English paper? An English paper is an essay. As such, it shares many characteristics with.

Drafting and Revising Effective Sentences Chapter 11 Presented By Blake O'Hare Chris McClune.

Avoiding Wordiness.

Effective Communication for Colleges, 11 th ed., Brantley & Miller 2008©Chapter 2 – Slide 1 The Six Cs of Effective Messages.

Copyright © 2008 by Nelson Education Ltd. Ch. 4-1 Chapter 4 Revising and Proofreading Business Messages.

Passive Voice vs. Active Voice  Passive voice places the subject after the thing being acted upon.  The ball was thrown by him.  Change to:  He threw.

III. Style 3.2 Concise Sentences (not short, but not padded)

C ONCISE, S PECIFIC L ANGUAGE /T RANSITIONS Duane Theobald

Avoid Wordiness and Repetition.  Distracts the reader  Assumes that the reader is dumb and needs everything laid out for him/her  Not everything needs.

Quoted & Reported Speech. We often have to give information about what people say or think. In order to do this you can use “direct = quoted” speech,

ENG 412 WRITING EFFECTIVELY. Principles of Composition Use active voice Use active voice Avoid long sentences Avoid long sentences Use simple language.

Objectives in Technical Writing. ► Clarity ► Conciseness ► Accuracy ► Organization ► Ethics.

The means by which you can and should edit out extra, unnecessary words, while making sure that your audience is understanding what you wrote, or.

+ Conciseness Army Standard of Communication. + What does it mean to be concise? to use the most effective words to use the strongest words, not necessarily.

Pleonasms: Repetitive & Redundant We have all heard someone say something like this: "It was an unexpected surprise when a pair of baby twins was born.

**Thanks to the Purdue OWL.  Using fewer, more effective words to get across your main point  Replace vague words with more specific, powerful words.

Editing Business Messages for Clarity.  Using concise wording  Changing wordy phrases to single adverbs  Removing statements of the obvious  Removing.

G0472 Week 9 : “ WORD CHOICE IN EDITING “ 1. Learning Outcomes Students are expected to be able to use editing system to find and edit incorrect words.

‘A Photo in Time’ How to Capture your AmeriCorps experience in Resumes, Portfolios & Professional Networking Sites By: Amanda Carleski T.E.A.C.H.

CM 105 Unit 6 Seminar Revising Writing and Creating Effective Sentences.

A matter of sentence style. What is conciseness?

Language affects how we communicate with our audience. If the sentences are confusing, then meaning is affected and we don’t achieve our purpose as effectively.

Concision Adapted from the Carnegie Mellon Writing Tutor

Chapter 7 Writing News Stories and Headlines. Building on the Lead The lead is the hook, then you reel in the reader One way to hold the reader’s interest.

What did Christopher Vogler, author of The Writer’s Journey: Mythic Structure for Writers, say about the connection between the heroic journey and writing?

Welcome to CM107 College Composition I Unit 3 Seminar With Emily Lundin Please feel free to chat until we get started at the top of the hour.

ENGLISH B60 Standard vs. Non-standard English Clichés, Wordiness, and Awkward Phrasing.

Business Writing By Bal Abdul. What are the different types of business writing? When should you write a memo, letter, or an ? When is it appropriate.

7 Ways to Avoid Wordiness. 1. AVOID FILLER WORDS It was really important to be on time. It was important to be on time.

GERUNDS AND INFINITIVES ________ING TO _________.

Review of Unit 1  What is the “Call to Adventure”?  How is the writer’s journey similar to the hero’s journey?  Can you remember at least three tips.

Sentence Clarity A Workshop brought to you by The Purdue University Writing Lab.

Welcome to CM 107 Unit 2: Seminar with Nick Pincumbe  Feel free to chat and get acquainted until you hear my voice near the top of the hour. Once the.

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing.

Concision How to say more with fewer words. The information in this presentation is from the Purdue University Online Writing Lab Effective writing Effective.

McGraw Hill Handbook Chapter 38

“Vigorous writing is concise

Clear and Concise Sentences

Chapter 6 Writing Process Phase 3: Revise, Proofread, Evaluate

Eliminating Wordiness

Making your writing readable

HUM 102 Report Writing Skills

Spring Board 4.8 Deleting Wordiness RADaR Revisions

Chapter 5 Revising Your Writing

Chapter 6 Writing Process Phase 3: Revise, Proofread, Evaluate

What’s the difference between Editing, Revising, and Proofreading?

Revising and Proofreading Business Messages

Presentation transcript:

CM 220 Unit 7 Seminar - Conciseness

What’s wrong here? It was after she was hired and began working at her current job, that Jessica discovered she was required within her job duties to produce weekly reports every week that outlined a list of all the sales she successfully completed with customers during the week.

Wordy: Tending to use, using, or expressed in more words than are necessary to convey meaning. (The Free Online Dictionary,

How to fix it? Look for repetitious words or concepts Look for unnecessary modifiers Change phrases into single words Eliminate unnecessary “that” or “which” clauses Avoid phrases that begin with “it is” or “there is”

How to fix it? Change passive to active voice Omit words that phrases that contain unnecessary or obvious detail

Original: It was after she was hired and began working at her current job Revision: When she began her job, Original: that Jessica discovered she was required within her job duties to produce weekly reports every week that outlined a list of all the sales she successfully completed with customers during the week. Revision: Jessica discovered she must produce weekly sales reports. From Wordy to Concise

Another one ORIGINAL: It was a shortage of checkers in the lines at the grocery store on Saturday, which was a busy day, that caused the grocery store’s customers to become unhappy with the store’s service. REVISED: Customers became unhappy with the grocery store’s service because of a checker shortage on a busy Saturday.

And one more ORIGINAL: In accordance with your request and considering the fact that I am closing my account that serves as a checking account, I have as you requested enclosed for your review a copy of the unused checks that were remaining within my checkbook. REVISED: As you asked, I am returning my unused checks for my closed checking account.

Circumlocutions Expressions that take several words to say something that could be said with fewer words Examples: At this point in time In light of the fact that Have the opportunity to Concerning the manner of Now Because Can About CircumlocutionConcise Alternative

Redundancy Repetition or overlapping, especially with words. Examples below: end results final outcome past history free gift terrible tragedy results outcome history gift tragedy Redundant Pairs Concise Alternatives

Redundant Categories Pink in color Large in size In a confused state Honest in character Of a cheap quality Pink Large Confused Honest Cheap RedundantConcise Alternative

REVISE: During that period in time, many people who were women liked to buy dresses that were pink in color and small in size.

Possible revision ORIGINAL: During that period in time, many people who were women liked to buy dresses that were pink in color and small in size. REVISION: At that time, many women preferred small, pink dresses.

Any questions?