Good vs Bad vs “Just Okay”

Comes from asking the thesis statement “how/why/so what?” IS NOT TOO GENERAL Ex: fire is bad Tells the reader what the paragraph will be about

“Emma Genarie is a hardworking woman.” “Emma Genarie is a tall woman.” “Emma Genarie is a wonderful woman.” Which of these 3 is bad? Just ok? Good?

Success is a good thing. Success comes as a result of personal effort. Having ambition makes you successful. Success has nothing to do with opportunity. Personal success can be influenced by when you were born. Your birth date can affect a lot of things.

Appears at the beginning of the paragraph Deals with ONE IDEA Supports your thesis statement Answers the “why/how/so what?” test Is not too general. It gives you (the author) a topic that you can back up with examples. Is not a basic fact Ex: “George Washington is dead now.”, “Success is a good thing.”

First of all, I believe that if all public school children were required to wear uniforms, this would make life much simpler for principals, parents and the students. School administrators would not have to make so many rules about student dress. They would simply monitor that each student wear the required uniform. They would not need to check whether some pants are too baggy or some shirts to long or oversized or whether the shirts have inappropriate art work or phases. This would free up the administrator to do other more important things. In addition, parents would not be burdened by the endless search for name brand clothing. The decisions would be minimal and made quickly. Moreover, students lives would also be simpler in that they would not have to waste so much time deciding what to wear. They would just wear what was required and get on and do more important things. Therefore, if this uniform rule were adopted, everyone involved would have a simpler and more productive life.

Zero tolerance policies can allow schools to kick students out in order to raise the standardized test scores. Schools want their grade up so the schools look good. They will do anything to get the people with the low grades out of the school. This is important because zero tolerance policies can get students kicked out of the schools a lot faster and easier. So the people with the low grades are really worried about what they are going to do because any wrong move will get them kicked out of the school because they will do anything to get the low grade people to miss the test or to get them out of the school. What WORKS in this paragraph? What is the topic? What DOES NOT WORK in this paragraph? What can we fix?

The main reason why I do not like the idea of fast food in schools is because allowing fast food in schools will provide a negative effect on the student’s health. Fast food is a very unhealthy food that has been criticized for ruining a person’s health. This would also get the students addicted to fast food; this would spread the addiction of fast food to other student. For example a school that has fast food in their system generally has more overweight people and the population isn’t as healthy. The students that are addicted to the food will then tell others to eat the same way because they like it and think its good. The second reason is the food that students eat could possibly make them obese and then are more prone to being picked on for their appearance. This would take the students concentration from school work and onto social status making the students grades drop and the students stress level increase. The student may also become shy, nervous, scared, depressed, etc because of his or her appearance due to fast food. What WORKS in this paragraph? What DOES NOT WORK in this paragraph? What can we change to make it better?