The Ultimate B.J. by B.J. Stankiewicz

The characters in this slide show have been given fake names to protect the privacy of the real people they represent.

Super Star Name Role in Slide Show

The Nuisance

Side Kick

The Mean Friend Dread locks

Nuisance’s Roommate

Provider of Sandwich (only one)

Unknown

The Doctor

Oh man, I’m so bored. I should go on an adventure!

Hey Brian J! Self Esteem Level: 200%

My god your so poor.

My house is twice the size of yours.

My god your so poor. My house is twice the size of yours. Your half-house is also connected to equally poorer half- houses that are all smaller than mine as well.

Even though he was made fun of for living in a townhouse, Brian J stayed strong.

You could not be any poorer. You could try, but you would…

Lil’ Schweener, do you want to go on an adventure with me?

Ok! Let’s go to McDonald’s.

Lil’ Schweener, do you want to go on an adventure with me? Ok! Let’s go to McDonald’s. Schweener, God Damnit.

Brian J, knowing he could not hurt Lil’ Schweener verbally, left for McDonald’s.

Good.

If only I wasn’t broke. Then maybe I could buy some food.

Ah well. Off to Dread’s house.

Come in.

Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

Guess who’s here. Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

Guess who’s here. Who? Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

Oh hey, Stephanie Copperman! Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes Have you guys seen Lil’ Schweener?

He was at McDonald’s the last time I saw him. Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes Have you guys seen Lil’ Schweener?

He was at McDonald’s the last time I saw him. No, he’s in the back shaving now. Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes Have you guys seen Lil’ Schweener?

What happened to Witty? Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

What happened to Witty? Love has taken him away from us. Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

I’m hungry. Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

I’m hungry. Ok, let’s go to McDonald’s! Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes

Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes No, let’s go to Subway. I feel like a sub.

Things to do: Kill Steal Dent Mercedes I thought you were broke. No, let’s go to Subway. I feel like a sub.

Just then…

Let’s go in.

POP

Hey guys!

What’s up!?

Hey guys! What’s up!? We’re on an adventure but there’s nothing for us to do in Ashburn.

Well… we can all go to Warped Tour after I get off work! It’ll be great! Brian J can drive Lil’ Schweener, Witty, and I, and we’ll have a safe trip down without getting into a horrible car wreck! It’ll be so much fun! Happy Level: 200%

Nice. Why don’t we just go right now?

I can’t, I have to work at Subway for a little longer! Happy Level: 80%

Happy Level: 30% Dangerously Low And while working, I have to make these horrible sandwiches that lack any meat and nobody likes!

Happy Level: 5% Never breached before! And my boss… he’s a face!

Let’s all go to Ocean City!

Ok! Happy Level: 200%

Ok! So good!

Ok! So good!

Ok! So good!

They all go to Ocean City, but Brian J is still very hungry.

Self Esteem Level: 300% Dangerously High

Hi guys. What’s going on?

Where did Miss B’Haven go?

COMING!

Hey Brian J! I brought you something!

SNATCH

What was that?

Lil’ Schweener?

What was that? Lil’ Schweener? No, it was too fast to be Lil’ Schweener.

What was that? Lil’ Schweener? And too smart. No, it was too fast to be Lil’ Schweener.

What was that? Lil’ Schweener? And too smart. No, it was too fast to be Lil’ Schweener. And too attractive!

But then who could it have been!?

THE DOCTOR!!

What We Learned Brian J has friends with very different personalities. Brian J is always bored because he lives in Ashburn. Brian J lives in a half-house. Brian J is always broke. Brian J is always hungry. Nobody likes Matt Schwee.

Works Cited vorstand.htm pictures/reflection.jpg 50s/1954/mcdonalds.jpg en.wikipedia.org/ upload/0/0a/Beach.jpg

THE END