Review/Overview Preparation Opening a negotiation: Greetings, introductions, small talk, hosting Transition to negotiation: Discussing agenda if necessary Establishing good lines of communication: Using explicit phrases to make and clarify pts ‘Active’ listening, asking different types of questions

Our focus today Maintaining good lines of communication (even when things get difficult) Video analysis Principled negotiation approach Possible reasons for loss of communication Focus on interactional style Practice: Negotiation in groups of 4 or 5

What went wrong? Sean getting aggressive, making personal judgment on Andrew (inexperience) Andrew getting defensive in the face of this pressure from Sean Sean and Francoise not working as a team

What’s going right? Sean expressing his concerns with a ‘soft on people, hard on issues’ approach More indirect language politeness expressions when interrupting and saying face-threatening things Andrew listening, acknowledging concerns, asking questions

Principled Negotiation : when the other party is (or seems) difficult Stay calm: Getting defensive will probably not be productive. Keep listening, acknowledge their concerns, and stay open to any of their principled arguments. Appeal to principles of fairness and reason (and appeal to them as fair and reasonable people).

Principled Negotiation : when the other party is (or seems) difficult Appeal to objective criteria: Facts, precedent, moral standards, costs, efficiency, scientific judgment, tradition, reciprocity, equality, professional standards or advice, market value… Be well-aware of your own best alternatives to a negotiated agreement (BATNA).

Principled Negotiation : when the other party is (or seems) difficult Re-frame the issue as a joint search for a solution – not a fight to be won. If possible, don’t yield to pressure (bribes, threats, manipulative appeal to trust, refusal to budge), only to principle. Possibly suggest a third party to help you resolve the issue.

Reasons why people may be difficult… some possibilities They really are ‘jerks’, or are explicitly trying to manipulate you by being difficult. They are not trying to be difficult, but are simply frustrated, confused, bored, not feeling valued or understood… They are not trying to be difficult, but have a different interactional style than you, and this is causing friction and misinterpretations.

Interactional Style – what is it? A person’s habitual, often subconscious, patterns of acting and speaking in interaction with other people

Wider culture or nationality Gender, ethnicity, community norms Individual personality and values Education, school and work experience Immediate context/situation of interaction Mood, health… Interactional style is influenced by:

More indirect styleMore direct style Interactional style dimensions

More indirect styleMore direct style Possible miscommunication: Feels confused, impatient Feels offended, pushed Interactional style dimensions

Less eye contactMore eye contact Interactional style dimensions

Less eye contactMore eye contact Possible miscommunication: Feels other doesn’t care, isn’t listening Feels other is aggressive, insolent Interactional style dimensions

More, longer pauses Rare overlap of talk Fewer, shorter pauses Frequent overlap of talk Interactional style dimensions

Possible miscommunication: Talks all the time, trying to fill the awkward silences Rarely talks; ‘can’t get a word in edgewise’ Interactional style dimensions Fewer, shorter pauses Frequent overlap of talk More, longer pauses Rare overlap of talk

Information should be volunteered Ask questions to get information Interactional style dimensions

Information should be volunteered Ask questions to get information Possible miscommunication: Asks all the questions, Waits for questions, feels other doesn’t care about him/her Waits for other to volunteer information; feels interrogated Interactional style dimensions

Less pitch variation Wide pitch variation Interactional style dimensions

Less pitch variation Wide pitch variation Possible miscommunication: Thinks other is boring, disinterested Thinks other is overly emotional, excitable Interactional style dimensions

Less use of gesture, body movement Frequent use of gesture, body movement Interactional style dimensions

Less use of gesture, body movement Frequent use of gesture, body movement Possible miscommunication: Feels other is disinterested, uninspired Feels other is overly excitable, unprofessional Interactional style dimensions

Softer voiceLouder voice Interactional style dimensions

Softer voiceLouder voice Possible miscommunication: Feels other is timid, shy, or possibly weak Feels other is aggressive, annoying Interactional style dimensions

Infrequent ‘backchannels’ Frequent ‘backchannels’ Interactional style dimensions

Infrequent ‘backchannels’ Frequent ‘backchannels’ Possible miscommunication: Feels other is disinterested, or doesn’t understand Feels other is interrupting, disruptive Interactional style dimensions

Speaks only after thinking Speaks as part of thinking Interactional style dimensions

Speaks only after thinking Speaks as part of thinking Possible miscommunication: Thinks other is too cautious, conservative, not a quick thinker Thinks other is too impulsive, not careful, not trustworthy Interactional style dimensions

What can be done? Be aware of possible style differences Don’t assume you know the others’ styles Stay observant in the interaction rather than judgmental Try to identify style differences if they occur Try to adjust your style somewhat Occasionally check in with the others – are they comfortable with the interaction? Talk explicitly about possible style differences

Negotiation Practice Situation: Negotiating a (new) smoking policy in your office. See page 14 for diagram. Details: Refer to individual sheet from me Groups of 4-5, two teams

Preparation (10 minutes) First, separately prepare for the negotiation in your respective teams: A and B on one team C, D and maybe E on the other Make brief notes on your negotiation worksheets.

The Negotiation (20 minutes) Greetings Briefly set agenda (objective, procedure) Present and discuss respective interests (listen and ask questions) Present and discuss possible options (listen and ask questions) Come to an agreement OR agree on next step