Managing Difficult Educational Situations

David W. Feenstra Hudsonville High School

You will never know where your influence starts or stops. You are the Director of first Impressions. Educational Environment

Insanity is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting a Different Outcome.

Don ’ t Stick It To Yourself In every situation, ask who is most comfortable and who is least comfortable.

What are your HOT buttons? Always remember that Anger is a Choice. You are the Educator. You are the Professional. They learn by your actions and words. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Schools need to be positive niches- adventageous environments that minimize weaknesses and maximize strengths and thereby help students flourish. Armstrong 2012

A Challenging student provides one of the best means for reaching mastery in our fields- but only when teachers themselves get support and safety, an when they are dealing with situations in isolation. Bensen 2014

You May Not Always be Able to Control What Life Puts in Your Path, But You Can Always Control Who You Are.

Precipitating Factors Events that occur in our life that effect how we interact and respond in social settings. Acting out is usually a symptom of a bigger problem.

People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

Identify the Stages of Crisis Development Anxiety- notice changes Defensive - release and refusal Acting Out - Loss of rational thought Tension Reduction Therapeutic Rapport

Verbal Escalation Continuum Release Disrespectful Refusal Intimidating Threatening

The Four D ’ s of Conflict Intervention Develop Positive Relationships. Design an Environment for Success De-escalating and Defusing Debriefing for Rapport

Lose a Battle and Win the War The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.

I am Sorry that IT happened. You acknowledge the perceived problem and ask the person for possible solutions.

Be Professional Treat everyone with respect every day, all the time. Earn the right to be listened to by listening first. Be Non-judgmental. Never place a negative value on the difficult person.

Know and Adhere to your Policies and Procedures. Crisis Plan is written and practiced. Know when and how to engage in a conflict. Develop and Maintain Systematic Classroom Procedures.

Develop Positive Relationships with All People. Notice them. Express a genuine interest in them. Research their background. Dignify them as Individuals. Model the desired behaviors.

Identify the people that are likely to cause you the most frustration. Make authentic positive contacts home on your three most challenging students.

Empathic Listening Rule of three Listen carefully to what the person is really saying (focus on feelings, not just facts). Allow silence for reflection Use restatement to clarify messages

See Anger and Frustration in others as GOLDEN OPPORTUNITIES to teach and model NEW ATTITUDES!

MAKE THE POLICY OR THE CONSEQUENCE THE “ BAD GUY. ” Share a practical example of this strategy with someone else.

Teaching with Love and Logic Show sadness instead of anger. Always give the positive choice first and the negative choice second. Delayed Consequences - We are going to have to do something about it, but try not to worry about it.

People will not care about how much you know until they know how much you care for them.

Be more concerned about making people feel good about themselves than making them feel good about you.

Design an Environment for Success Clean Slate Team Approach - All Staff Open Door Policy Accentuate the Positive Pride-O-Grams Minimize the Negative

A Good Discipline Plan Allows Students To: learn to predict consequences of their behavior ahead of time. learn to accept responsibility for the outcomes of their choices. learn from their mistakes. Attempt to control their OWN behavior instead of that of others.

De-escalating and Defusing Active Listening Use Humor Be Non-judgmental Read Between the Lines Separate Who you are from Who the other person is during a confrontation. focus on feelings.

Debrief for Rapport Isolate Emotional State vs. Thinking State Share the Control Reality Therapy Internal vs. External Locus of Control

Therapeutic Rapport Identify threshold stimuli- Cues Confront threatening and intimidating statements. How do we avoid this conflict in the future? What can I do to help you in the future? Rational Detachment

People will Change only if we honor who they are now and help them discover how they might become MORE content than who they are now by making some CHANGES.

Choices give people the Opportunity to Make Decisions and Experience Consequences which will Help them feel Empowered and Responsible.

One thing I know: The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. Albert Schweitzer

Comments, Questions, Hostilities Identify one thing that you are going to implement to help you to effectively manage difficult people.

Dr. Todd Whitacker

LOVE AND LOGIC INSTITUTE 2207 JACKSON STEET GOLDEN, COLORADO

Jeffrey Bensen Hanging In Strategies for Teaching the Students Who Challenge Us Most.