Personal Narrative Writing: Tips for Creating a Killer Body Writing with Mr. Potato Head

First… Outline the events you will need to include in your body Use the sequence chart/plot organizer handout and outline the major events in your personal narrative body. Use the sequence chart/plot organizer handout and outline the major events in your personal narrative body. Next… think about Mr. Potato head and make sure your essay considers each of his body parts. Next… think about Mr. Potato head and make sure your essay considers each of his body parts.

Sensory Writing One of the best tips for adding details into a composition comes from using Mr. Potato Head. Each of the potato parts can stand for one of the senses to enrich writing. One of the best tips for adding details into a composition comes from using Mr. Potato Head. Each of the potato parts can stand for one of the senses to enrich writing. Using the five senses can make a story jump off the page. Make sure each body paragraph contains at least some sensory details. Using the five senses can make a story jump off the page. Make sure each body paragraph contains at least some sensory details.

Ears EARS: Sound clues. EARS: Sound clues. Example: Example: Bad: I ripped open the bag of gummy bears. Bad: I ripped open the bag of gummy bears. Good: “Ripping open the bag causes a resonance like a large cop bending over to grab the last crumb of his doughnut and splitting open his trousers. The sound of chewing the Gummy Bear brings to mind the sloppy noise of a horse tromping through a mud hole. Tearing his tiny face from his little bear body I can hear a tendon snap.” Good: “Ripping open the bag causes a resonance like a large cop bending over to grab the last crumb of his doughnut and splitting open his trousers. The sound of chewing the Gummy Bear brings to mind the sloppy noise of a horse tromping through a mud hole. Tearing his tiny face from his little bear body I can hear a tendon snap.”

Eyes Visual clues. Think of “Show, don’t tell.” Visual clues. Think of “Show, don’t tell.” Example: Example: Bad: It was hot. Bad: It was hot. Good: “Huge spots of old paint curled and peeled, like strips of inanimate flesh surrendering its soul to the baking Oklahoma sun.” Good: “Huge spots of old paint curled and peeled, like strips of inanimate flesh surrendering its soul to the baking Oklahoma sun.”

Now let’s see the eyes and ears in action with a little help from Ethan Hawke & Robin Williams

Did you hear the sensory details? Other than the barbaric YAWP in Whitman’s poem, what were some of the sound images? Other than the barbaric YAWP in Whitman’s poem, what were some of the sound images? What were some of the sight images? What were some of the sight images? Could you see the image that Todd is describing? Could you see the image that Todd is describing?

Nose Example: The fire marshal said that the explosion’s cause had not been determined but a propane leak is the most likely possibility. He first noticed the smell after work late Friday. It was like someone had dumped rotten broccoli down the kitchen sink disposal. Example: The fire marshal said that the explosion’s cause had not been determined but a propane leak is the most likely possibility. He first noticed the smell after work late Friday. It was like someone had dumped rotten broccoli down the kitchen sink disposal. Bad: The lobby smelled. Bad: The lobby smelled. Good: “The lobby of his old building, as he'd expected, seemed smaller to him but the smell caught him off guard: a claustrophic stankiness - - urine, old bacon grease." Good: “The lobby of his old building, as he'd expected, seemed smaller to him but the smell caught him off guard: a claustrophic stankiness - - urine, old bacon grease."

Hands Tactile clues. What things feel like to the touch. It’s a visual clue and then some. Tactile clues. What things feel like to the touch. It’s a visual clue and then some. Examples: Examples: She caressed the cool, smooth cover of the laptop. The lotion gave her baby-soft skin. He was tied tightly, and the rough bark gouged his back. It was as soft as rabbit’s fur. The biscuit was as hard as a rock.

Mouth MOUTH: Quotes. Be careful here. ONLY use quotes that are appropriate and profound. If not, then leave them out. They will sound contrived. MOUTH: Quotes. Be careful here. ONLY use quotes that are appropriate and profound. If not, then leave them out. They will sound contrived.

Feet FEET: Development of ideas. Keep your feet firmly planted in what you are writing and don’t get off the topic. Stay in the moment for a long time instead of jumping from idea to idea. Fully develop the scene so the reader will be able to see what you see and know what you know. Show your story to the reader. FEET: Development of ideas. Keep your feet firmly planted in what you are writing and don’t get off the topic. Stay in the moment for a long time instead of jumping from idea to idea. Fully develop the scene so the reader will be able to see what you see and know what you know. Show your story to the reader. Importance of setting. Help the reader get right into your story. Without letting your reader know why the setting is important, they will not understand your message or be able to visualize what is happening. Importance of setting. Help the reader get right into your story. Without letting your reader know why the setting is important, they will not understand your message or be able to visualize what is happening.

Voice THINKING: Use Mr. Potato Head’s thinking cap to remind you to write about what you are thinking. Share your thoughts about actions, decisions, or events. Also reveal your point of view or unique way of looking at the situation. This will help the readers understand what is going on inside you! THINKING: Use Mr. Potato Head’s thinking cap to remind you to write about what you are thinking. Share your thoughts about actions, decisions, or events. Also reveal your point of view or unique way of looking at the situation. This will help the readers understand what is going on inside you! Example: As my mom slammed down the phone and wheeled around to look at me with a glare in her eyes, I knew I was in trouble. I’ll probably be grounded for the rest of my life! I wish I would have turned in my homework on time. Doesn’t anyone understand how important playing baseball is to me? Example: As my mom slammed down the phone and wheeled around to look at me with a glare in her eyes, I knew I was in trouble. I’ll probably be grounded for the rest of my life! I wish I would have turned in my homework on time. Doesn’t anyone understand how important playing baseball is to me?

Voice Cont. FEELING: Glue a small heart on Mr. Potato Head. Add voice to your paper by reflecting on your personal feelings or describing the feelings of other characters in your story. Instead of using simple feeling words like happy or sad, use descriptive language to help the reader know what you are feeling. FEELING: Glue a small heart on Mr. Potato Head. Add voice to your paper by reflecting on your personal feelings or describing the feelings of other characters in your story. Instead of using simple feeling words like happy or sad, use descriptive language to help the reader know what you are feeling. Example: There it is. Sitting on the kitchen table. Grandma always sends my birthday present a day early. I’m hoping it is the game I’ve been wanting. I can picture my friends spending hours playing and competing with each other. The size of the package is right. Yes, the weight is too. It just has to be.... Example: There it is. Sitting on the kitchen table. Grandma always sends my birthday present a day early. I’m hoping it is the game I’ve been wanting. I can picture my friends spending hours playing and competing with each other. The size of the package is right. Yes, the weight is too. It just has to be....

Listen to this audio clip What is the setting of the story? How does he develop the scene? What is the setting of the story? How does he develop the scene? How does David Sedaris use dialogue? What are some lines you remember? Is the dialogue effective? How does David Sedaris use dialogue? What are some lines you remember? Is the dialogue effective? What thoughts and feelings does Sedaris reveal in this essay? How does he feel about being an elf? What are some examples you remember of him revealing his inner thoughts and feelings? What thoughts and feelings does Sedaris reveal in this essay? How does he feel about being an elf? What are some examples you remember of him revealing his inner thoughts and feelings?

Let Mr. Potato Head remind you to use sensory writing, fully develop your ideas, explain the importance of the setting, and write with voice!

Now it’s your turn… Write the body paragraphs to your personal essay. What you don’t finish in class, you must complete for homework.