Adoption Webinar: Openness in Adoption #1 - Openness and Permanency: Setting the Stage Welcome to Today’s Webinar! If you haven’t yet dialed in for the audio, please dial in to the teleconference at : Participant Pin # The phone lines are muted. It is normal not to hear any audio until the webinar has started. The webinar will be recorded and made available on the OACAS Members’ website. If you are hearing an echo, please mute the sound on your computer! 1

OPENNESS IS AN ACT OF GENEROSITY YOU GIVE YOUR CHILD AND THEIR BIRTH FAMILY UNDERSTANDING AND MANAGING OPENNESS IN ADOPTION

ADOPTION IS ……. A social, emotional and legal process through which children become permanent, legal members of a family other than their birth family, while recognizing that children’s psychological, genetic and kinship connections forever link the two families.

OPENNESS: HISTORICAL BACKGROUND Changes in legislation in 2006 and 2011 to allow openness in adoption Despite change in legislation it has taken time to determine how to best manage/operationalize openness in a public agency Need for Child Welfare to gain understanding as to how to manage openness agreement and then to take this understanding to adoptive parents/applicants so that they can become informed/comfortable with openness

OPENNESS: HISTORICAL BACKGROUND Historically Adoptive families would apply to adopt through CAS versus private because there was no openness in CAS adoptions Private adoption practitioner have been working with openness for many years Past 10 years there has been a gradual shift in practice so that Ottawa CAS has been facilitating exchange of letters and pictures between adoptive families and birth families with no written agreements so that adoptive families could stop any time and birth parents had not way to address this loss Long term advocacy on the part of adopt adoptees and birth families around the need/benefit for openness

WHY HAVE OPENNESS? CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE Facilitates with identity development Assists with grieving and dispels fantasies about their birth family Full disclosure and information about family history is easily available to child as they grow up Prevents child from having to go “underground” to get information and make contact with birth family during teen years Gives child permission to be part of adoptive family

WHY HAVE OPENNESS? ADOPTIVE PARENT’S PERSPECTIVE Empathetic view of the Birth Parents and less fear of the unknown Opportunity for open communication about adoption with their child and more accepting of child’s curiosity Better equipped to answer child’s questions Strengthens relationship between child and Adoptive Parents as show that Adoptive Parents can handle the difficult issues

WHY HAVE OPENNESS? BIRTH FAMILY PERSPECTIVE Continued relationship and active role in the child’s future Facilitates Grieving—Diminishes anxiety and fear for the child’s well-being and increases comfort in living with the adoption decision Confirms the adoptive parents will be the psychological parents if there is no competition or feeling of divided loyalties between birth family and adoptive family

“ IF A MOTHER AND FATHER CAN LOVE MORE THAN ONE CHILD THEN WHY IS IT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND THAT A CHILD CAN LOVE MORE THAN ONE MOTHER AND FATHER?” ~ UNKNOWN

OPENNESS 101 “When the Society begins planning for the adoption of a child who is a Crown Ward, the Society shall consider the benefits of an openness order or openness agreement in respect of the child,” CFSA141.1 (2) Things to Consider: Must be in the best interests of the Child Permits the continuation of a relationship that is meaningful and beneficial to the child There are two types of Crown Wards (CW) CW’s with Access Orders and CW’s without Access Orders. With CW’s with Access Orders, the person with access has the right to ask for an openness order or an openness agreement.

OPENNESS AGREEMENTS An openness agreement may be made at any time before or after an adoption is finalized. The child’s views and wishes (if they can be reasonably ascertained) shall be considered before an openness agreement is made. An openness agreement may include a process to resolve any difficulties.

OPENNESS ORDERS Typically made by the court prior to a final adoption order Allow the Society to seek adoptive placements for Crown Wards with Access orders Adoptive parents are advised of any applications prior to placement Court decides: Is the order in the child’s best interests? Will it permit the continuation of a meaningful and beneficial relationship for the child? Does the child (of over 12) consent to the order? Must consider the ability of the adoptive family to comply with the order

OPENNESS ORDERS CW with no access order CAS may place for adoption Only CAS may apply for Openness Order Court must be satisfied that: Order is in best interests of child Order will permit continuation of a relationship that is meaningful and beneficial to the child Consent of the society, the person who will have openness, the adoptive parent(s) and the child if 12 years or older. CW with access order CAS must give notice of intention to place for adoption 30 days before placing Access holder may apply for Openness Order CAS must advise adoptive parents of application Court must be satisfied that: Order is in best interests of the child Order will permit continuation of a relationship that is meaningful and beneficial to the child Consent of the child if 12 years or older Court must consider the ability of the adoptive parents to comply with the arrangement under the Openness Order.

BEST INTERESTS Even when the relationship is meaningful and beneficial to the child, the best interests of the child must be considered. “ What in a relationship is left for preservation by an openness order may be only a sliver to those who make decisions for the child. It may be a very important sliver to the child. In the end, there is likely considerable benefit even in a sliver, viewed through the lens of an ever-maturing child”. Musings of Justice Katarynych

WHAT WE ARE DOING IN OTTAWA Birth families may have input into choosing the adoptive family that is the best match for their child The goal of openness is to have face to face contact and the amount is based on an assessment of what is beneficial and meaningful for the child, contact is limited only by safety and well-being considerations An openness agreement is facilitated between birth and adoptive parents to define what is meaningful and beneficial to the child and realistic for both families

OPENNESS WORKER ‘S ROLE Meet with birth parents prior to Crown Wardship or shortly thereafter to provide information about adoption, planning and openness Support Birth parent into selecting adoptive family for their child Offer service to assist in transition from parent to birth parent role

OPENNESS WORKER Begin Process with Birth Parent (Support, Information, Guidance) Collaborate with adoption worker regarding openness Co-facilitate meeting with birth parents and adoptive parents

SOMETHING TO CONSIDER…… We didn't want our daughter to have the cabbage patch mentality. The truth is, her life didn't start the day we adopted her. Like us, her history and ours began a thousand lifetimes ago. - Monica and Debbie, adoptive parents It has been said that adoption is more like a marriage than a birth: two (or more) individuals, each with their own unique mix of needs, patterns, and genetic history, coming together with love, hope, and commitment for a joint future. You become a family not because you share the same genes, but because you share love for each other. Joan McNamara, Adoptive parent

ADOPTIVE FAMILY MEETING BIRTH FAMILY Adoption worker will meet with adoptive family to prepare them for meeting the birth family At the same time, birth parents will meet with the openness worker to prepare them for meeting the adoptive parents This meeting is not a time to negotiate…this is the beginning of openness

ADOPTIVE PARENTS MEETING BIRTH FAMILY Meeting will take place at CAS or a neutral setting, not in the home of adoptive parents or birth family Adoption worker and openness worker will be present for meeting Adoptive Parents and Birth Parents should prepare any questions ahead of time so all participants are not caught off guard Adoptive parents should bring a camera so they can take a picture of birth family members if they are willing...possibly picture together of adoptive parents and birth parents

THE AGREEMENT Defines what information is shared (identifying or not) Who is involved – birth parents, extended family, siblings, etc. Frequency and Exchange of pictures and letters – how? How many? contact Telephone contact Gifts, cards, letters, mementos from birth family Visits – frequency, location, addresses issues of concern ie addictions and mental health Definition of openness, not access Limitations of electronic sharing of pictures Mechanisms to address problems or need to make changes

POST AGREEMENT CHALLENGES Over probationary period your adoption worker will assist and support adoptive family and children as they learn to live with openness Birth family will have opportunity for support Openness can be awkward initially until all parties are comfortable with each other Built into each agreement is a process for managing any conflicts or necessary changes as the child grows or family situation changes

FACTORS WHICH INCREASE OPENNESS Mutual concern for child well-being Emergence of mutually satisfying relationship between adoptive and birth parents Regular flow of communication between adoptive and birth family

FACTORS WHICH DECREASE OPENNESS Distance Major value differences Relatives or friends who discourage contact Change in birth family situation (marriage, new child) Difficulty negotiating comfort zone of contact Adoptive parent feels contact causing stress to child Inability of agency to keep up mediated contact to satisfaction of everyone

COMMITMENT Adoptive parents must enter into the agreement in good faith recognizing the benefit to their child and their family to maintain birth family connections.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT….. “When she looks in the mirror, we want our daughter to know herself. It’s hard to face the world when you don’t know where your face came from.” ~ Adoptive parents An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.” ~ An ancient Chinese belief Having a child means a piece of your heart is walking around in the world.” ~ Unknown Children need two things. One is roots and the other is wings.” ~ Unknown

KEY ISSUE: PRESERVING RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE MEANINGFUL AND BENEFICIAL TO THE CHILD Need to ask this question in relation to access at the CW stage Need to ask it again following CW CAS has duty to seek permanent home through adoption or custody or customary care for all Crown Wards Need to ask it at the stage of planning for adoption If there is no relationship that is meaningful and beneficial to the child, bring an application to terminate the access If there is a relationship that is meaningful and beneficial to the child, service notices of intent to place for adoption

PLANNING FOR CW WITH ACCESS: INITIAL STEPS Prior to the Adoption Conference Obtain copies of the court orders for Crown Wardship and access, Obtain court Plan of Care, Statement of Agreed Fact, Minutes of Settlement, court endorsements or Reasons for Decision that explain the access order or the basis on which it was made Determine whether an Openness Conference is needed

PLANNING FOR CW WITH ACCESS: THE OPENNESS CONFERENCE Purpose is to determine which relationships are beneficial & meaningful to the child, and discuss the options, including: Negotiate openness without first serving the Notices Return to court to terminate or vary access Serve Notice of Intent to place the child for Adoption with access order in place

PLANNING FOR CW WITH ACCESS: THE OPENNESS CONFERENCE Invite children’s service worker, adoption worker, family worker if there is continued or recent involvement, lawyer Plan for advising the access holder and access subject of adoption plan. Service of a Notice of Intent to Place is not a good way to inform anyone about an adoption plan! Assign an instructing client who will instruct and communicate with the legal department or lawyer

SETTING THE STAGE FOR OPENNESS QUESTIONS ?