Chapter 10: Adult Relationships

Friendships « Adult Process acquaintanceship buildup continuation deterioration ending

Friendship Themes « Affective Basis self-disclosure intimacy appreciation affection support *Based on trust, loyalty, commitment* « Shared or communal nature « Sociability - Compatibility

Gender Differences Women « more intimate « more emotional sharing « confide in others Men « more shared interests « more competitive « competition emphasizes social interaction rather than outcome « less intimate

Cross-Gender Friendships « May explore opposite gender’s tasks or skills « Men may try to sexualize cross gender relationships « Women may be offended at this « Decrease after marriage for men « Increase with age for women

Love Relationships « LikingI « InfatuationP « Empty LoveC « Romantic LovePI « Fatuous LoveP « Companionate LoveIC « Consommate LovePIC

Falling in Love « Assortative Mating « Similarity

Murstein’s Theory on Falling in Love « Stimulus: Appearance complementary? « Values: Sex - Religion - Politics - Match? « Role: Relationship Communication Style Gender Role Match?

Dark Side Verbal Physical Severe Aggression Aggression Aggression Insults Pushing Beating Sarcasm Shaking Punching Yelling Slapping Hitting w/ Name Shoving object calling Bruising Bondage = MURDER

Causes of Verbal Aggression « Need to control « Misuse of power « Jealousy « Family discord

Causes of Physical Aggression All of # 1 Causes plus … « Accept violence as a means of control « Modeling of physical aggression « Abused as child « Aggressive personality style « Alcohol abuse

Causes of Severe Aggression All of # 1 and # 2 plus … « Personality D/O’s « Emotional lability « Poor self esteem *Contributing factors: job stress and unemployment *Battered Woman Syndrome

Relationships « Single hood « Cohabitation « Gay and Lesbian couples « Marriage early years midlife older couples

Keeping Marriage Happy « Make time for each other « Express love « Be there in times of need « Communicate positively + constructively « Be interested in spouse’s life « Confide in spouse « Forgive minor offenses « Try to understand major offenses

Family Life Cycle Changes « Nuclear Family « Extended Family « Family Life Cycle (Weakness - ignores child free relationships) « Should we have children? « Parental Role « Single Parents « Divorce - Why?

Effects on Couple « Effects on young children « Effects on adult children « Remarriage