Welcome to Seminar 9 CM220 – Thursday, June 14 10:00 PM EST We’ll begin on time. Meanwhile, have fun chatting. “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” James Matthew Barrie (creator of Peter Pan)

Unit 9 Reading The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing, ch. 14 ( ) and ch. 17 Review the website for Food, Inc. Review the selected Writing Center resources (see the Extra, Extra! tab for links)

Unit 9 Invention Lab Describe a common editing concern you have (passive voice, apostrophes, commas, fragments) and how the selection from The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing or the Writing Center helped clarify any questions you had. Discuss any other challenges you face as you revise and edit your portfolio this week and prepare the multi- modal component of your final project. ( words) Respond to two classmates. Note resources that might help your classmate address the challenges mentioned in the post and mention any questions you still have about your classmate’s big idea. (100 words per peer response)

The Final Project Portfolio 5-7 page revision of draft (unit 6) Revision of letter to editor (unit 5 invention lab) Revision of tech presentation (unit 7 invention lab) Responses to reflection questions

Reminders: The 5-7 length is just for the essay; this does not include the title and references page, letter to editor, presentation, or reflection questions. The letter to the editor will be approximately ½ to 1 page, as will the responses to the reflection questions. Put all components in one Word document unless you need to post a separate file for the presentation (such as a Power Point). If you have an external link, include that in the Word document. See the sample posted in the unit 9 folder of Doc Sharing. Review the grading rubric and assignment instructions carefully! See the rubric in the syllabus.

Let’s break down the Final Project. What questions do you have at this point?

The Essay (5-7 pages + title page) Essay must be a SUBSTANTIAL revision of the draft you wrote in unit 6. Simply adding a few sentences is not sufficient.. Arguments should be defended-remember that the goal in persuasion is to convince your audience of the value of your position. Consider and respond to counter arguments Aim for strong, clear, readable sentences.

Letter to Editor (1/2-1 page) You will revise the letter to the editor (or formal message to another audience) you wrote for the unit 5 invention lab. Take into account questions raised by your instructor and classmates as you revise the message. How can you make it more compelling for your audience?

Tech Presentation The audience for this presentation of your ideas is WIDER than the audience of your actual paper. How will this affect the presentation of information? Remember to take into account the suggestions you received in unit 7. Have at least 5 specific facts/ideas supported with evidence. Be sure to cite sources. You can have those listed on your main References page.

Reflection Questions (1/2 – 1 page) What did you learn about yourself as a writer? As a thinker? What did you learn about the process of writing? What skills did you develop that might help you in the future? What did you take from the larger conversation with others? How did your feedback from peers and your instructor affect the revision of your blueprint, letter to the editor, and presentation? Write responses in paragraph form.

Reference Page (1/2 – 2 pages) Your research paper must directly refer to at least five sources (in the paper's text, not just on the references page). At least two should be scholarly books or articles, and at least one of those should come from the Kaplan library. ALL sources must be CREDIBLE! Your final project research paper must include a references page containing all sources referenced in your paper and presentation. You can view models of these in the Writing Center's reading, APA Manuscript Style and Sample APA Research Paper.

Format Review (slide 1) All 4 components are present: formal paper, letter to editor, tech presentation, & reflection questions 12 pt. Arial or Times New Roman font. 1 inch margins all around. Double spaced. Should contain an APA-style formatted title page. All pages should have header and page numbers. Correct parenthetical (in text) citations for all quotes and paraphrases.

Format Review (slide 2) All direct quotes have either page or paragraph numbers listed in the parenthetical citation. Should contain 5 credible sources (minimum). All cited sources have dates of publication (use n.d. if no date is present). Titles of books/journals/websites/newspapers are italicized on the reference page and in the paper. Article titles are placed in quotation marks within the body of the paper (not on the reference page). Quotes over 40 words are block indented.

What is your editing strategy? Have you ever applied the Paramedic method?

Paramedic Method: Paramedic Revision is a sentence level revision strategy that helps to make writing more clear and concise. It revives tired, wordy, and awkward sentences and makes them more readable

Steps to the process: Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into) Draw a box around the "is" verb forms (be, being, been, is, am, are, was, were) Ask, "Where's the action?" Change the "action" into a simple verb Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom) Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups Eliminate any redundancies. (“Paramedic Revision,” 2010).

Example: The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money. Who is doing the acting? What is the action? Are there any unnecessary phrases? Could any prepositional phrases be more concise? Actor: Employees Action: Need Direct object: manager

Revision: This company’s employees need a better money manager.

Let's Practice: WORDY SENTENCE: After reviewing the results of your previous research, and in light of the relevant information found within the context of the study, there is ample evidence for making important, significant changes to our operating procedures. QUESTIONS: Who is doing the acting? What is the action? Are there any unnecessary phrases? Could any prepositional phrases be more concise? Actor: Action: Direct object:

Seven Steps to Easy Revision (The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing, pp )

7 Steps to Easy Revision 1. Choose verbs carefully--they convey the action in your paper and should be vivid and compelling.  Highlight being verbs (am, is, are, was, be, etc.). Try to eliminate as many as possible since they are considered "weak" verbs.  Highlight "to have" verbs (has, have, had). Again, try to remove those.  Try to choose active, vigorous verbs whenever possible.

7 Steps to Easy Revision 2. Take out unnecessary prepositions. 3. Make sure sentence lengths vary. You don't want too many very long or very short sentences. 4. Make sure all pronouns (it, they, everyone, etc.) have a clear reference.

7 Steps 5. Try to limit the use of pronouns who, which, and that. 6. Limit the use of "qualifier" words like really, every, very. 7. Take out cliches (children are our future, etc.)

Jayme's Editing Reminders: No second person (you, your) point of view is present in paper or letter to editor. No first person (I, me, my, mine, our, we, us) point of view is present in paper or letter to editor. No contractions used in formal writing. The term “thing” was not used (try to find a more descriptive term). Pronoun tenses are correct

Quiz Time! Try out this quiz for eliminating wordiness: /quizzes/nova/nova8.htm

Questions?? Let’s open the seminar up to any questions you may have about the final project requirements. Remember that there is NO seminar in unit 10, but we will have a final chance to share projects and discuss the Big Ideas you have all proposed this term! The final paper is due: Tuesday, June 19 th. I will accept late work until, Saturday, June 23rd If you would like me to review your work before submitting for a grade, you can me your project. Please do so by Saturday, June 16 th so that I will have time to provide you with feedback.

THAT’S ALL FOR UNIT 9! THANK YOU all so much for attending!! I have enjoyed working with you all this term. I can’t wait to read your final projects! If you think of questions later, please me at: