Questions: What do you want in your ‘romantic’ relationships over the next 5 years? Over the next 10 years? What advantages are/would be added to your life with a romantic relationship? Any disadvantages? How does/would a “significant other” relationship enhance or complicate other goals you have in next 5 years?

What is the best foundation for a close relationship with a ‘significant other’ at your age? In 5 years from now? What do your think is the best way to relate sexually? Why? Identify the best ways you think you can accomplish “intimacy” goals at this time in your life. During your college years?

How important is it to you (to your self-esteem, social identity) to have a boyfriend? Is love a need or a gift? How do you know if you are truly loved or not? If you belong to the lonely hearts club (hey – we’ve all been there!!!) do you think you want a boyfriend out of need or giving yourself or both? In Chastity article, how do most you know perceive sex? (pp1-3)

By Heather Gallagher and Peter Vlahutin Notes from A Case for Chastity

“Understanding is the reward of faith.”

So let’s understand… A case for chastity

What Choices Do I Have re: Sex? an extracurricular activity committed relationship if we love each other to gain love when “I’m ready” with that “special someone” to gain experience

all but… as increased affection (if with one, need to be with another one ‘more special’) “just happened” before we knew it under the influence necessary evil I determine what it means abstinence only until marriage

Some Consequences of Sex (outside of marriage): 1. Sex may not be as meaningful 2. Stuck in unhealthy relationships 3. Poor communication and problem- solving skills 4. Stunting of personal growth 5. Feelings of jealousy and suspicion 6. Feeling used and experiencing lower self-esteem

7. Worry about STDs or pregnancy 8. Lack of trust or fear of future commitments 9. Feelings of regret 10. Blurred perspective of one’s partner 11. Not considering one’s future life partner 12. Comparisons to past lovers 13. Lack intimacy with God

Chastity Provides: 1. Freedom to experience meaningful, passionate sex in marriage 2. Freedom to date creatively 3. Freedom to dump losers 4. Freedom to trust and be trusted 5. Freedom to know we are trusted as a person, not just as a body

6. Freedom from STDs, unplanned pregnancy, and worries associated with both 7. Freedom to develop solid communication skills 8. Freedom to experience peace of mind 9. Freedom to share a unique bond with our spouse

10. Freedom to heal from past sexual relationships 11. Freedom to be intimate with God 12. Freedom to really love and be loved

Is sexual expression about “real love” or “chocolate love”? chocolate love = “I love chocolate” real love = “I love my family”

What about oral sex?

What about cohabitation?

Remember… Sex is physical intellectual emotional spiritual

Let’s brainstorm – dyads 1.In your opinion are the majority of people your age (in your community) waiting, or not waiting, to be sexually active 2.In the media you observe? 3.For those not waiting, what do you think are the reasons?

4. For those waiting, what do you think they do to have fun with friends of the opposite sex? 5.Imagine it’s you -- what can you do to show affection and build a close relationship without having sex? 6.Is this difficult to do? Why/ why not?

IMAGINE… You are dating someone you really like: What are creative ways you can spend time together without having sex? Where do you draw a line? How do you draw a line? When do you draw a line?

What to Do? You can Make a commitment to chastity Date differently, if you need to (leave unhealthy relationships Live differently; get closer to God, be sober and try to keep a pure mind Think of your future spouse Build self-esteem from girlfriends Be empowered!