Tim Knight Manuel Prabhudas Group and Conflict Issues in Leadership LDRS 561 Azusa Pacific University January 2010 A Biblical Conciliatory Approach to Conflict Resolution The Peacemaker

Alternative Dispute Resolution A Biblical Model Peacemakers, founded in 1982 by Ken Sande Training individuals, businesses and organizations to pursue Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) through a specialized, conciliatory approach

Peacemaking vs. Escape/Attack Responses Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. Matthew 5:9

Personal Peacemaking Overlook an Offense Overlook an Offense Reconciliation Reconciliation Negotiation Negotiation

Overlook an Offense Forgiveness of an offense (Prov.19:11) Forgiveness of an offense (Prov.19:11) Not to talk, dwell, or grow into bitterness or anger Not to talk, dwell, or grow into bitterness or anger

Reconciliation More serious to overlook and damages the relationship More serious to overlook and damages the relationship Confession, loving correction, and forgiveness Confession, loving correction, and forgiveness Be reconciled with that person (Matt. 5:23-24) Be reconciled with that person (Matt. 5:23-24) Forgive as Christ forgave us (Col. 3:13) Forgive as Christ forgave us (Col. 3:13)

Negotiation This relates to things unlike relationship issues such as money, property, and other rights. (Phil.2:4) This relates to things unlike relationship issues such as money, property, and other rights. (Phil.2:4)

Assisted Peacemaking Mediation Mediation Arbitration Arbitration Accountability Accountability

Mediation Mediation between two people by an outside objective person Mediation between two people by an outside objective person Mediators ask questions and give advice to guide the individuals (Matt.18:16) Mediators ask questions and give advice to guide the individuals (Matt.18:16) Final decision is made by the individuals involved in the conflict Final decision is made by the individuals involved in the conflict

Arbitration One or more arbitrators to be involved and make a binding decision to settle the conflict (1 Cor. 6:4) One or more arbitrators to be involved and make a binding decision to settle the conflict (1 Cor. 6:4)

Accountability Person is a Christian but does not desire to be reconciled Person is a Christian but does not desire to be reconciled Accountable to Scripture for repentance, justice, and forgiveness Accountable to Scripture for repentance, justice, and forgiveness Leaders in the church will lovingly intervene (Matt.18:12,17) Leaders in the church will lovingly intervene (Matt.18:12,17)

The PAUSE Principle of Negotiating Phil 2:3-4; Matt. 7:12 P repare P repare A ffirm relationships A ffirm relationships U nderstand interests U nderstand interests S earch for creative solutions S earch for creative solutions E valuate options objectively and reasonably E valuate options objectively and reasonably

Escape Responses Denial Flight Suicide

Attack Responses Assault Litigation Murder

Reasons People Respond Negatively to Conflict People in conflict bring to the table all of their incompleteness Lack of skills to deal with conflicts makes matters worse People view conflict negatively and therefore respond negatively People view conflict through the lens of their previous negative experiences

People in conflict bring to the table all of their incompleteness Immaturity UN Secretary General’s Comments

Lack of skills to deal with conflicts makes matters worse

People view conflict negatively and therefore respond negatively

People view conflict through the lens of their previous negative experiences 9/11: a collective negative experience

Evaluating Organizational Peacemaking Culture Do people show genuine respect for the opinions, interests and reputation of others? When there is a disagreement, do people try to speak the truth in a loving way? Do people resolve disagreements constructively among themselves? Do people value relationships and work hard to preserve them? Do leaders provide a consistently positive example of resolving conflict? Do people show compassion toward others who are very different or difficult to love?