Managing Life’s Transitions: Personal –Relationships– Societal Education – Work – Military By: Kathleen E. High, M.Ed. Education & Career Consultant, Dream Chasers & Goal Setters Figure 1: Man trying to decide which of two directions to take

Transitions Model 1 Understanding Transitions: Anticipated: Graduation, marriage, parenthood, start a job Unanticipated: Accident, layoff, untimely death of loved one Nonevent: Not married, remaining childless, don’t retire 4 Ss System for Coping with Transitions: Situation: Situation at time of transition will affect response Self: Your inner strength for coping with the transitions Supports: The support available is critical to your well-being Strategies: Strategies used to change the situation 1 Schlossberg, N. K. (2011). The challenge of change: The transition model and its applications

Transitions Defined 2 : Endings Triggering event, then the loss of the old life: Disengagement Disidentification Disenchantment Disorientation Neutral Zones The old life has ended, and the new life has not yet begun New Beginnings It is a Process - not a “To Do List”. “Signs” are generally not available Listening to the “inner voice” for patterns and new opportunities Launching a new set of priorities, ideas, and goals 2 Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Books.

New Beginnings Reflection: To help you understand how this process works: Think back on a significant new beginning you had in your past: What were the “steps” you took to begin?

Many Types of Transitions: Personal Child to adult Dependent to independent Caregiver to “empty nest” Able-bodied to disabled Incarcerated to parolee/free Addicted to Sober Spirituality (change beliefs or religion) Home: (apartment to homeowner, etc.) Personal technology (phones, TV, computers, etc.) Physical (puberty, menopause, aging, etc.) Family & Other Relationships Single to married (or otherwise committed) Married to single Childless to parent Independent to caregiver (or the reverse) Death (or separation from) a loved one Societal A Changing World Native to immigrant Groups – majority to minority, etc. Spiritual – place of worship Move to a new community Education High school to college Community college to university College student to graduate Student to employee Employee to student Career New assignments, bosses, etc. Employee to manager Employed to unemployed Unemployed to employed Employee to retired Military Civilian to soldier Soldier to veteran

More Than One Transition? Q: Is it possible to experience more than one transition at a time? A1: Yes. You can experience several simultaneous or serial transitions at any time. A2: Some transitions may trigger others - Example: Loss of job can also trigger: New student, family status changes, and Veteran (if job was military), etc.

Identify Your Personal Transitions TYPE of transitions are you dealing with right now? Personal, Relationships, Societal, Education, Career, Military ASSESS your transition(s)? Is your transition: Anticipated, Unanticipated, or Nonevent? PHASE of the process Where are you in the process? Endings, Neutral Zone, New Beginnings

How Transitions Affect You – Emotionally: Mental Emotional Grief 3 : Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance Resistance Reminiscing Regret Spiritual Political Perception of Reality Values Sense of Identity Personality 3 Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Touchstone.

How Transitions Affect You – In Other Ways As Well - Physical Level of “Productivity” Relationships Authority Roles The “Rules” Expectations Priorities Behavior/Interaction Style Communication Financial Legal 3 Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Touchstone.

How to Manage Transitions 4 Embrace “Neutral Zones” as a productive “reorientation” process: Surrender to the process instead of trying to avoid or fight it Find time and place to be alone Log “neutral zone” experiences Write your autobiography Discover what you really want Imagine what would be unlived if you died today Take a short “right of passage” retreat 4 Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Books.

How are Your Transitions Affecting You? Reflect on your transitions: What challenges are you dealing with? Emotional: Mental, Emotional Grief, Resistance, Reminiscing, Regret, Spiritual Perspective, Political Perspective, Personality, Sense of Identity, Sense of Reality, and Values Other Ways: Physical, Level of Productivity, Authority, Roles, Rules, Expectations, Priorities, Financial and Legal Should you prioritize them?

Managing the Effects of Transitions “Neutral Zone” is not the end of the world Learn the “New Rules” Envision “New Beginnings” Embrace this as an opportunity for pursuing your dreams and goals Develop a support system: Family, friends, support groups, place of worship, resource centers, etc. Seek professional help if necessary: Mental health counselors Career Counselors Other “professional skilled helpers” (clergy, lawyer, parole officer, VA officer, drug/alcohol counselor, etc.) Utilize available resources: Your personal support system, printed/on-line materials, books, support groups, resource centers, professional help, place of worship, etc. Find a mentor (Someone who has gone through your transition before)

Utilize Resources Off Campus Resource Centers Local One-Stop Centers (Employment) VA Office VFW – Veterans of Foreign Wars 12-Step programs (AA, Alanon, etc.) Employer’s Human Resources Dept. Check these institutions for potential resource centers: City, County, and State Governments Non-profits organizations (legal, etc.) Local houses of worship Books Transitions On Death and Dying On-Campus Resource Centers Career Center Transfer Center Veterans Center Disabled Students Programs & Services Financial Aid Student Health Center EOPS/CARE/CAL-WORKS Special Interest Student Clubs Handouts Discerning Seasons Paradigm Shifts Hidden Rules Setting Effective Goals

Wrap Up RESOURCES: What resources can help you? Books, handouts, counselors, support groups, etc. Do you have mentors / professionals / skilled helpers who can help you manage the process? If not, where can you find one? What is your next step?

References Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Books. Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Touchstone. Schlossberg, N. K. (2011). The challenge of change: The transition model and its applications. Journal of Employment Counseling,