The course of true love never did run smoothly, as these real life embittered epistles reveal…. Take note!! BEAUTIFUL GIRL LOOKING FOR WEALTHY PARTNER Click to advance…

 I am tired of beating about the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly so) 25 year old woman. I’m articulate and classy. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but bear in mind that a million a year is now very common, so I don’t think I’m over-reaching. I’ve dated a businessman who makes on average $250,000 but that’s where I hit a roadblock: 250K won’t get me to glitzy Hollywood. I know a woman in my yoga class who is married to an investment banker and she is not as pretty as I am, nor is she a genius. So what’s she doing right? How do I get to her level?

 Where do you single rich men hang out? Specifics, please – bars, restaurants, gyms, etc…  What are you looking for? Be honest guys: you won’t hurt my feelings.  Is there an average range that I should target, (I am 25)?  Jobs I should look out for? Lawyer, Investment Banker, Doctor? How much do these guys really make and where do I find them?  How do you decide on marriage versus just a girlfriend? I am looking for marriage only.

 Please hold the insults, most beautiful women are superficial; at least I am being upfront I wouldn’t be searching for these kinds of guys if I couldn’t match them in looks, sophistication, culture and keeping a nice home and hearth.

 I read your posting with interest and thought about your dilemma. Here’s my analysis (and I am not wasting your time – I am a guy who fits that bill; that is I make more than a million dollars a year). Your offer, from the perspective of a guy like me, is just a business deal. What you suggest is just a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring the money.

 Fine, simple. But here’s the rub: your looks will fade whilst my money will probably continue to perpetuity. In fact it’s likely that my income will increase, but it’s an absolutely certainty that you won’t get any more beautiful! So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset whilst I’m a growing asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset - your depreciation accelerates!

 You are 25 now and will probably stay hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35, stick a fork in you, you’re done! In NYSE terms (New York Stock Exchange) you are a ‘trading position’ not a ‘buy & hold’ hence the rub…. marriage. It doesn’t make business sense to ‘buy you’ (which is what you are asking), so I did rather lease.

 Lest you think me cruel, I add this: if my money were to vanish, so would you, so when your beauty fades, I need an out. Thus a deal that makes sense is dating not marriage. I have learnt about efficient markets, so I wonder why a girl as ‘spectacularly beautiful’ … articulate and classy as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. If you’re so gorgeous, it’s hard to believe that One Million dollars hasn’t found you, if only for a try-out.

 You could always make your own money, then we wouldn’t need to have this insertion in the local paper. I hope this helps. If you want to enter some sort of lease let me know. Pictures were picked from the Net. Music background: Sax for Lovers played on sax by Fausto Papetti.