1 Sharing Sensitive News with Parents

2 Agenda Introduction Why sharing news is difficult for parents and ECEs How you tell makes a difference Strategies for Sharing News Planning ahead Sharing the information Wrap-up

3 Intro Activity 4 things to remember when sharing news with parents T ____________ E ____________ L ____________

4 Think back to a time when you received “sensitive” news. What do you remember? How did you feel? What did you do?

5 How do you think parents feel upon hearing our news?

6 Emotional reactions Pain & grief Inadequacy Anger Guilt Fear/vulnerability

7 Why it’s difficult for parents to accept news Emotional Reactions Stage of Acceptance Values, Priorities, Expectations

8 Stage of acceptance “ We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us” - Marcel Proust

9 Journey to Acceptance: Stages of Coping Denial –Support & give information Resistance –Support & be there when things “crash” Affirmation –Provide appropriate information & resources Integration / Acceptance –Reinforce confidence in ability to manage

10 How do we feel about sharing the news? Sad Inadequate Angry Guilty Afraid Persuasion Model Information Model

11 Information Model Poor Communication Jargon Advice in booth Too much information Power differential Clinician talks too much Unfamiliar environment Poor lighting Good Communication Less jargon Get out of booth Give client time to let you know they understand Use visuals Support of 3 rd person

12 How You Tell Makes a Difference 1.If the deliverer of your news handled it well, what made it successful? 2.If the news was not shared well, what would have made it easier for you?

13 Effective Sharing: How You Tell Makes a Difference Planning Sharing Talk “with” not “at” Acknowledge feelings

14 Plan ahead Rapport Setting Message Person’s Reaction

15 Think about a past or current experience with a family Refer to the handout & discuss: 1.Which “plan ahead” strategies did you use? 2.Which other strategies could you have used?

16 Sharing News You try it! Number off & divide into groups of 3 #1 – sharer of news #2 – receiver of news (act as naturally as possible) #3 – observer – record strategies used by sharer

17 Sharing sensitive news You tried it! 1.How did you start? 2.How did you introduce the sensitive information? 3.How did your recipient react? 4.How did you respond? 5.How did you continue to share the information? 6.How did you conclude?

18 Sharing the News 1.Observe, Wait & Listen 2.Followed the parent’s lead Get the parent’s perspective & respond 3.Take turns 4.Adjust your language 5.Extend the topic Strive for agreement Explore possible solutions Agree on next steps 6.Scan

19 Observe, Wait & Listen Be comfortable & relaxed with sharing news Find out what parents know & want to know (collaborative) Watch for verbal & non- verbal cues Deliver a warning shot

20 Follow the parent’s lead Build on what the parent says Be caring & supportive – no blame Use active listening – respond to words & feelings

21 Take turns Pause for parent’s perspective, reaction & questions Ask open questions & counter-questions Focus on informing, not disputing Start with common interests Agree on problem & priorities before jumping to solution Brainstorm various options together Emphasize “we” not “I” and “you” Leave the final decision with the parent “First seek to understand, then to be understood”

22 Adjust the way you talk Give a little information at a time Be clear, specific & understandable Use visuals Provide written material Keep your opening statement brief

23 Extend the topic Inform –Clarify the issue –Share your observations Explain –E.g. reasons for your concern & child’s behavior Talk about feelings and project (child, ECE, parents) Talk about future –Outline what happens next –Arrange for resources & supports –Set up follow-up date

24 Scan Carefully observe reactions of all attending the meeting Adapt your response to individual needs Encourage quieter members to share their perspectives

25 Practice Find the Bloopers Divide into groups Read the sample script Identify the “bloopers” & make suggestions that would improve this interaction between an ECE & a parent

26 Practice Role play Divide into groups of 3 Think of a an example of a situation where you might have to share some sensitive news with a parent, e.g. –Your child’s language seems delayed –You child isn’t talking at child care –Your child is hitting the other children Refer to the hand-out for appropriate strategies 2 people do the role play & 1 person acts as the coach Discuss how it went

27 Back to life … Which strategies will you use next time you need to share sensitive news with parents? Which strategies will you share with your colleagues?