 In the past instead of dating, couples courted.  Courtship is all about looking for a marital partner.

 Spending leisure time together for the sake of enjoyment, without any intention to marry in the near future.  Stages in a Dating Relationship › Random Dating: no commitment beyond date itself › Casual Dating: still no commitments but expectations exist about spending more time together. › Steady Dating: monogamy

 Socialization › To develop appropriate social skills. › To practice getting along with others in different settings.  Recreation › To have fun and enjoy the companionship of others. › To try new and different activities.  Mate Selection › To see others in many different settings. › To compare the personality and characteristics of many people.

 What is it that attracts you to someone else?  Dependent on a number of factors: › Family background: Interests and personality traits of parents › Past experiences › Physical appearance › Social status

We are generally attracted to:  People who make you feel as able, attractive, and worthy as you are.  People who seem popular with your friends.  People who can satisfy a particular need  People who remind you of pleasant experiences.  People who remind you of positive relationships in your home environment.

**You can also be repelled by people who remind you of negative experiences**

 Homogamy: Marrying similar people in terms of their social or cultural characteristics  Heterogamy: Marrying people different in social or cultural characteristics (opposites attract)  Endogamy: Marriage within a group  Exogamy: Marriage to partners from other cultural groups  Hypogamy: marrying someone of less age, height or socio-economic status  Hypergamy: marrying someone older, taller or higher in socio-economic status.

 On to some case studies …

Imagine you are a parent ….  We will now take a few minutes to discuss how parents may feel about certain dating situations, using the case studies.

 CASE STUDY #1:  Your daughter comes home from a date and is upset. When you ask her what is wrong, she explains that her date took her to a party where he got drunk. She was very frightened as he drove her home. How would that make you, as a parent, feel?

 CASE STUDY #2:  Your son comes home from a date and confides in you that his date seduced him. How would you feel? What would you do?

 CASE STUDY #3  It’s 11:45 pm. Your daughter runs in the door crying. After you calm her down, she tells you that her date raped her. How would you feel? What would you do?

 CASE STUDY #4  Your daughter comes into your room to talk to you late one night and says: “Mom, Dad, I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you this, but there just doesn’t seem to be a right time. I think I’m pregnant.” How would you feel? What would you do?

 CASE STUDY #5  A car full of teens pulls up in front of your house and honks the horn for your son/daughter. Just as she/he is leaving the house, you see beer cans in the rear window of the car. What would you do?

 CASE STUDY #6  Your son is really infatuated with a girl at school. Every time you have seen this girl she has been wearing revealing clothing. Does this concern you? What would you do?

 What rules would you have for your teenager?  What would keep them safe?

 What dating rule are you going to live by when you go off to college or move out on your own?

Review: › Values are the principles that we believe in and that should guide our behavior. › What we value has a big impact on who we date.

 We usually depend on our friends and families to introduce us to eligible partners.  North Americans are increasingly turning to dating services to assist them when they are no longer meeting people who interest them.

 Write up 10 of your own personal rules and responsibilities relating to dating behaviors. Behaviors need to comply with your personal values and that protect yourself.

 Using your 10 values, make a personal ad for yourself (similar to one that may go on a dating site).  Include a little bit about yourself and what you are looking for in a partner. You may also include what you are NOT looking for but try to make it as positive as possible. Do not focus on the negative.

List of single-letter abbreviations The following are examples of single letter abbreviations used in three letter acronyms (TLAs). The first letter describes the person seeking.  D: Divorced  F: Female  G: Gay  M: Male (or Man)  M: Married  S: Single  T: Transgender  W: Woman or Widower Middle letter The middle letter represents the ethnicity of the person posting the ad. Can be replaced by 4, standing for ("seeking", "desires", etc.).  A: Asian  B: Black  H: Hispanic  J: Jewish or Japanese  L: Latino or Latina  W: White Last letter  C: Couple  F: Female  M: Male (or Man)  T: Transgender  W: Woman