Domestic Abuse Kishor Vithlani

Dani, 42, a domestic survivor, says: “My ex was so charming at the start of our relationship that I felt very flattered by him. But after a short time the jealousy started, along with the mood swings where he readily switched from being charming to being abusive. “I lived my life walking on egg shells. I experienced nearly all of the warning signs – I was very closely controlled, criticised and isolated from friends and family. I just didn’t realise that these were the warning signs, I didn’t recognise this as domestic violence. If I had known then what I know now, my life would have been quite different.”

Statistics 1in 4 women(and 1 man in 6) in the UK will be a victim of domestic violence during their lifetime 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner. Each year around 2.1m people suffer some form of domestic abuse million women (8.5% of the population) and 700,000 men (4.5% of the population) In the police recorded 887,000 domestic abuse incidents in England and Wales 130,000 children live in homes where there is high-risk domestic abuse On average victims experience 50 incidents of domestic abuse before getting effective help On average high-risk victims live with domestic abuse for 2.6 years before getting help Most victims – 85% - see on average 5 professionals in the year before they finally get effective support

Definition The UK government’s definition of domestic violence is “any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional.”

violence-survivors- handbook.asp?section= violence-survivors- handbook.asp?section=

Recognising the signs of domestic violence How do find out if I patient is experiencing abuse? Has your partner tried to keep you from seeing your friends or family? Has your partner prevented you from continuing or starting a college course, or from going to work? Does your partner constantly check up on you or follow you? Does your partner accuse you unjustly of flirting or of having affairs? Does your partner constantly belittle or humiliate you, or regularly criticise or insult you in front of other people? Are you ever scared of your partner?

How do find out ? Have you ever changed your behaviour because you're afraid of what your partner might do or say to you? Has your partner ever deliberately destroyed any of your possessions? Has your partner ever hurt or threatened you or your children? Has your partner ever kept you short of money so you're unable to buy food and other necessary items for yourself and your children? Has your partner ever forced you to do something that you really didn't want to do, including sexually?

It's abuse if your partner or a family member threatens you shoves or pushes you makes you fear for your physical safety puts you down, or attempts to undermine your self-esteem controls you, for example by stopping you seeing your friends and family is jealous and possessive, such as being suspicious of your friendships and conversations

Where can you get help? call , the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge (calls from a landline are free) &region=151 in an emergency, call 999 The Survivor's Handbook handbook.asp?section= Refuge%20Early%20Warning%20Signs%20Advert%20embarog ed%20until%205%20August.pdf

Video mestic-violence-help.aspx mestic-violence-help.aspx