Jessica’s Journey

Life Before Bipolar I was… a dreamer popular in control of my emotions free busy safe relaxed contented an active dancer hopeful skilful loved calm satisfied well Working in a library

Stressful events Pushed me into my first bipolar black hole. Losing my Job, people hurting me, and normal stress.

Messages from TV Voices Trapped Who am I? Running away Sad Depersonalisation INSIDE THE BIPOLAR BLACK HOLE No sleep

HOW I CAME OUT OF THE BIPOLAR BLACK HOLE Medication Exercise Music Art therapy Relaxation Counselling

I came out of the black hole but still had these problems …grrr! Arguing with my parents Didn’t have my job anymore Didn’t have any friends Feeling sad, angry and anxious Feeling scared of the bi-polar

Dealing with Blueberry Shy turtle Angry dragon Anxious Milkshakes Sick Green apples Ahhhhh! Help me!!!!

We played a card game with all the emotions and worked out what happens with emotions in my family – I take everyone’s Blueberries! I JUMP FROM BEING A SHY PERSON TO BEING DEPRESSED, THEN TO NERVOUS, THEN TO BEING SHY, TO BEING ANGRY, AND THEN FEELING MISRABLE!! This means I don’t ask for help. I hide and feel sad and guilty. I worry I never get what I want. I get pushed around always. I get nervous in case other people get grumpy, and then I might jump to being a dragon. I don’t like me like this, taking everyone's rubbish. It makes me tired.

New Discoveries!!! We talked about all the things I have done in the past. We found out I have lots of hidden talents. We discovered that I’m actually an Experimental Defeating Warrior and I can take control over all the problems!

I got lost in the bush and walked for 7 hours from Whangamata to Thames! I stayed on the track and asked for help when I met someone. This showed I had courage, determination and problem solving skills! It also shows I can ask for help when I need it. We also talked about my experience of Bi- Polar. We learned that I am a survivor with lots of talents. I keep going no matter what and build up my inner strength. We noticed that I have a great sense of humour which helps me feel better about things. I also care about other people.

Tames Milkshakes, Dragons, Blueberries and Tortoises Surprises self and others Accepts marshmallows Compromise, Balance and Calm Asks for help when needs to Stands up for self and protects self Problem solving Good sense of humourDetermined Resilient Keeping healthy – diet, exercise and sleep Sets challenges

Marshmallows are happy. They come into my life when I am kind and other people are kind to me. I can also make marshmallow moments when I do things I like. These moments help me be the ED Warrior.

Made Some Goals

Another Wobble… I fell back into the Bi-polar Black Hole again because my medication was wrong. I HAD LOTS OF PANIC ATTACKS; DEPRESSION; NO SLEEP; AND WONDERED, “WHO AM I ?”. I WAS ALSO RUNNING AWAY AND SPENT 5 DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL; THIS WAS A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME !!! This time inside the black hole:

Found My Way Out! Came out of black hole with my medication being corrected. I re-discovered my warrior talents! I found out they’d grown by going through another black hole (oh no not again!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Went back to church Talked more to people Made more phone calls Walked away from sister’s arguments Trying out new things – looking at Eastgate Day Service Thinking of future work

I learned more about Bi-polar from Jenny and Gjurjica (a student) with my family. We all learned what is and how it effects us all. Learning about Bipolar

I told Mum and Dad about a particular person hurting me. I had kept it a secret from the very start of my bipolar problem. It was scary but I used my bravery to get through. Afterwards I felt much happier. Sharing My Secret

Warrior Skills Number Two !!!! Assertiveness Skills Keeping Myself Safe

My Special Back Pack !!!!!!!! Inside my backpack I have blue berries, marshmallows, milkshakes, and angry dragons now all tamed by the Experimental Defeating Warrior (and occasionally the shy tortoise.)

Thanks for sharing my Journey with me!! Now I am truly happy like before the Bi-Polar black holes!!