Dating and Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Using violent, threatening behaviors and action to intimidate/control another person Power and Control over someone else Four Categories: Physical Abuse Sexual Abuse Emotional Abuse Financial Abuse

Physical Abuse Using force to physically inflict pain or dominance over the significant other Ex. being slapped, punched, or even murdered Abusers want control over the person. Not necessarily to hurt the person. Looking for dominance in the relationship

Sexual Abuse Committing sexual acts against someone’s free will due to force, inflicted injury, or lowered inhibitions (alcohol/drugs) Treats the other person as an object, not a loved one Two Forms Spousal Sexual Abuse – forced sex or rape against a partner’s free will Child Sexual Abuse – sex without consent with someone whom is under the age of 16 (age of consent for the state of Montana) 50% of child abusers were abused as a child Before the age of 18, 1 in 6 girls and 1 in 10 boys experience some form of sexual abuse

Emotional Abuse Abuser routinely insults, belittles, mocks, harasses, or intimidates partner with words or gestures Ex. – threats of physical harm, humiliating, giving the “silent treatment”, consistently pointing out mistakes Results in psychological trauma - anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder

Financial Abuse Common for abuser to gain power through limiting spouse or significant other to finances Holds them hostage by limiting access to information and assets within the family Ex. Forced career choices, no bank accounts, threats of leaving, forced family-child bearing every year

Cycle of Violence Victim is trapped in downward spiral of the cycle Victim is isolated, immobilized and scared As violence escalates in intensity and frequency, time between phases becomes shorter Broken into Three Phases: Tension Phase Crisis Phase Calm Phase

Tension Phase May last for weeks or months, victim senses growing danger Stress builds and communication breaks down May include arguments, emotional abuse, or minor physical abuse (grabbing/pushing)

Crisis Phase Lasts from 2-24 hours or a few days Anxiety extremely high and major violence occurs (explosive/unpredictable) Abuser blames victim Victim may escape, return once crisis is over

Calm Phase May last for days or weeks Abuser will justify actions and blame victim or may never explain violence Victim worn down, accepts promises if offered, and forced to believe the violence won’t recur

Why do people stay? Make light of the abuse Victim blames self for the abuse Hopelessness – never be able to find partner who treats you any better Embarrassment/Shame – worried what others will think Fear – threatened to hurt or kill you Guilt – partner makes you feel guilty if you were to leave Children – feel it’s the best to stay together for the kids Any others you can think of??

Ray Rice Incident https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=- TAA87yvd-w

Interview with Wife https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q07x 5owfeE