God’s Guidebook To Happy Dating and Marriage Song of Solomon God’s Guidebook To Happy Dating and Marriage

Background The period of courtship is over. The wedding and honey moon are over. Now, the couple spend time living in love. Falling in love (1:2 – 3:5) leads to uniting in love (3:6 – 5:1) which leads to living in love (5:2 – 8:14). The setting in this lesson is a troubled dream that the Shulamite woman has about Solomon and how they will be separated from each other. There is some type of conflict or obstacle between them (5:2-8). The dream represents the reality of marriage struggles and frustrations.

Background When the dream is over, steps are taken by both spouses to remain committed to each other (5:9 – 8:14). First, the course of reconciliation is pursued (5:9 – 6:13), followed by the renewal of love (7:1 – 8:14). In S.S. 5:2 – 8:14, we learn about marriage struggles and the road to recovery and reconciliation. We learn not to let temporary frustrations turn into lasting problems.

Outline Falling in Love (1:1 – 3:5) – Courtship Days (Cultivating Love) Uniting in love (3:6 – 5:1) – Wedding Day (Consummating Love) Living in love (5:2 – 8:14) Struggling in Love (5:2-8) – Marriage Frustration (Caring Love) Maturing in Love (5:9 – 8:14) – Marriage Faithfulness (Conquering Love)

Living in Love ( Song of Solomon 5:2 – 8:14 ) The Shulamite (5:2-8) The Daughters of Jerusalem (5:9) The Shulamite (5:10-16) The Daughters of Jerusalem (6:1) The Shulamite (6:2-3) Solomon (6:4-12) The Daughters of Jerusalem (6:13a) The Shulamite (6:13b) Solomon (7:1-9a) The Shulamite (7:9b – 8:4) The Daughters of Jerusalem (8:5a) The Shulamite (8:5b-7) The Daughters of Jerusalem (8:8-9) The Shulamite (8:10-12) Solomon (8:13) The Shulamite (8:14)

Lessons Learned Marriage will have its struggles, its enemies, its “ups and downs” (S.S. 5:2-8) Emotional struggles: one-sided desire, conflicting schedules, indifference, selfishness, unfulfilled, frustrated, stubbornness, separation, infidelity, guilt, spiritual deficiencies, etc. Physical struggles: economic problems, illnesses, fatigue, family, sexual issues, etc.

Lessons Learned When marriage struggles come, surround yourself with good friends and sound advice (S.S. 5:9; Prov. 17:17) When marriage struggles come, remain complimentary in your communication (S.S. 5:10-16; 6:4-13; 7:1-7; Prov. 12:4; 31:10ff; 1 Pet. 3:6-7)

Lessons Learned When marriage struggles come, remain committed to each other (S.S. 6:1-3; 7:10) When marriage struggles come, remain intimate (S.S. 7:8-13; 8:1-4; 1 Cor. 7:5) When marriage struggles come, renew a love that will not be conquered: a love that is possessive, passionate, persevering, and priceless (S.S. 8:5-7; Mt. 19:5-6)

Note on Song of Solomon 8:6 A flame that is intense “A most vehement flame” (KJV, NKJV) “A mighty flame” (NIV) “A blazing flame” (TJB) A flame of the Lord “A very flame of Jehovah” (ASV) “The very flame of the Lord” (NASV, ESV)

Note on Song of Solomon 8:6 The Hebrew word is shalhebeth and means a flaming fire. In S.S. 8:6, the word is shalhebethyah with the suffix yah on the end. The suffix yah is shortened form of Yahweh (Jehovah) as in Ex. 15:2; 17:16; Psa. 68:18; 77:11; 118:14; etc. The meaning is a “Yahweh-flame = powerful flame” (BDB, p.529). “A feminine noun indicating a mighty flame. It means literally the flame of the Lord … but Yah (Lord) on the end of the word could indicate a superlative flame…” (TCWSDOT, 1144)

Lessons Learned When marriage struggles come, remain pure, chaste, and exclusive toward each other (S.S. 8:8-12; 1 Tim. 2:9-10; Tit. 2:3-5; Heb. 13:4) When marriage struggles come, return to the closeness experienced in courtship and the honeymoon (S.S. 8:13-14; see 2:17; 4:6; Prov. 2:17; Mal. 2:14-15)