Hannah Laniado Sexual Violence Prevention Specialist INTIMATE PARTNER SEXUAL VIOLENCE

POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL

WHAT IS SEXUAL VIOLENCE? Sexual Violence is the use of sexual actions and words that are unwanted by and/or harmful to another person. Sexual violence is most often perpetrated by a partner or someone the victim knows. In most relationships where domestic violence is occurring, sexual violence is also occurring. Sexual violence also includes reproductive oppression, sex trafficking, and child sexual abuse.

HARDER TO IDENTIFY Socially taboo Harder to label Shame Cultural barriers Do not see themselves as victims

HISTORY Sir Matthew Hale, Chief Justice, 17 th Century England: “But the husband cannot be guilty of rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and contract the wife hath given up herself in this kind unto the husband which she cannot retract” -Established idea that once married, a woman does not have the right to refuse sex with her husband Raquel Kennedy Bergen, VAWnet (February 2006)

HISTORY OF U.S. LAW During the 1970’s members of the anti-rape movement argued for the removal of the marital rape exemption from state laws 1976 was the first year it was possible to prosecute marital rape By 1993 marital rape became a crime in most states, however some states did not act until as late as 2005 and case and statutory law is still evolving. As of 2007, 26 states still continue to allow for some marital or co-habiting non-marital relationship immunity (National Center for Victims of Crime, Spousal Rape Laws: 20 Years Later, 2004; National Judicial Education Program, 2007) National Judicial Education Program

INTIMATE PARTNER SEXUAL VIOLENCE Definition Rape/sexual assault that occurs between two people who are in a consensual sexual relationship or who had a prior consensual sexual relationship Why aren’t we using the term marital rape anymore? Examples – Coerced or forced sex – Making degrading sexual statements – Violent sex (battering before, during or after sex) – Forcing a partner to view and/or re-enact pornography – Forcing a partner into prostitution – Using sex to prove faithfulness – Stalking to check on faithfulness – Withholding affection if she/he doesn’t respond to his/her demands for sex National Judicial Education Program

RELATED BEHAVIORS – Withholding money or conditioning money on sex – Forced pregnancy – Denial of access to birth control methods – Using children (threatening children, noisy sex, indicating sexual interest in children, pornography, forcing children into sex act with partner) – Forcing sex when vulnerable (ill, disabled, pregnant, intoxicated) – Withholding information about sexually transmitted infections or HIV – Demanding sex through threats of deportation – Demanding sex through threats of “outing”

QUESTION How might Intimate Partner Sexual Violence survivors be impacted differently from other victims of sexual violence?

PERSPECTIVE “When you are raped by a stranger, you have to live with a frightening nightmare. When you’re raped by your husband, you have to live with your rapist.” Finkelhor & Yllo (1985)

IMPACT OF IPSV Rape between intimate partners is just as serious as other forms of sexual violence: – Many physical and emotional consequences – Physical harm to vaginal and anal areas, gynecological effects, sexually transmitted infections – Psychological effects including PTSD, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, sleep disorders, eating disorders, negative self image, self-blame, sexual distress – Breach of trust, feelings of betrayal, difficulty realizing sexual assault occurred, loss of control, feeling unsafe Raquel Kennedy Bergen, VAWnet (February 2006)

LETHALITY

TYPICAL RESPONSES

QUESTION What are barriers to victims of intimate partner sexual violence coming forward or reporting?

BARRIERS TO COMING FORWARD OR REPORTING – Fear that police won’t do anything or won’t believe story – Victims don’t understand it is a crime – Fear of system response if transgender or in same sex relationship – Fear of partner – Economic dependence on partner – Concerns about deportation if documentation hasn’t been established National Institute of Justice, 2000

– Fear of criticism from family or community – Culturally taboo – Think this is minor, a one-time incident – Privacy and/or shame – Want to handle it alone – Want to protect attacker, relationship; fear loss of child custody – National Institute of Justice, 2000

HOW DO ABUSERS PERCEIVE IPSV? In a large-scale study of men in a batterers program, 53% of these men admitted to at least once engaging in behavior constituting intimate partner sexual abuse However, Only 8% considered the behavior to be sexual abuse (Bergen & Bukovec, Men and Intimate Partner Rape, 2006)

ADVOCACY TIPS Acknowledge the relationship  Victim/Survivor may be torn, still having feelings for her/his partner. Be mindful when talking about the perpetrator  May have felt it was her/his duty to have sex with her/his partner, even if s/he didn’t want to  Reluctance to come forward and LGBTQ victims may feel even more reluctant  Keep in mind s/he may not want to leave the relationship  Feel sense of shame and betrayal

ADVOCACY TIPS Victims/Survivors may not be able to identify that what has happened is sexual violence - False narrative that you can not rape someone you share an intimate relationship with Facilitation of sexual violence may look different than other types of sexual violence - Forced to have sex in order to get money for groceries - Coerced into engage in sex in order to keep a violent partner from escalating

ADVOCACY TIPS Differences in safety planning -Victim may be living with the rapist and need the safety of a shelter or other resource Be clear that IPSV is against the law -Sexual violence can and does occur in intimate relationships -There may be challenges in the criminal justice system but that system is always an option for a victim

IF A SURVIVOR OR FRIEND IS EXPERIENCING SEXUAL VIOLENCE… Support them Believe them Tell them its not their fault, it is never a victims fault! Allow them to choose their own path Do not tell them how they should heal Do not expect them to just get over it If you are feeling overwhelmed or experiencing secondary trauma take care of yourself!

REFER TO APPROPRIATE RESOURCES Lindsay