“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader- not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon” -E.L. Doctorow Check for Action

Active Vs. Passive Voice Passive voice tells what is done to the subject Too much use of passive voice makes writing dull and wordy. You want ACTIVE writing!! Use ACTION verbs!

Passive Voice  indicates what is receiving the action rather than explaining who is doing the action  two indicators  "to be" verbs—is, are, was, were  "by ________” Examples: Mistakes were made. The cats were brushed by Laura.

How might you improve the following sentence? The decision that was reached by the committee was to postpone the vote. Better: The committee reached the decision to postpone the vote. Best: The committee decided to postpone the vote.

How might you correct the following sentence? The disk drive of the computer was damaged by the electrical surge. Better: The electrical surge damaged the disk drive of the computer. Best: The electrical surge damaged the computer's disk drive.

Use Caution with “There” or “It” For a lean, direct style of writing, rewrite sentences that begin with “there” or “it” This type of construction most often leads to passive voice.

How might you improve the following sentence? There was a discussion of the tax increase by the politicians. The politicians discussed the tax increase.

How might you improve the following sentence? It is a fact that Arnold is proudly displaying a new tattoo. Good: Arnold is proudly displaying a new tattoo. Better: To display his new tattoo, Arnold proudly wore a cut-off shirt.