Listening is a Skill Presented by: Dr. Patricia L. McDiarmid HLTH 365 Fall 2012

Listening Workshop Objectives To take stock of your own listening skills and think about your strengths and Identify where you might need improvement in your personal listening skills including addressing and eliminating any “poor” habits Gain an increased awareness of the importance listening skills have in an effective communication process

“The greatest compliment that was ever paid was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” Henry David Thoreau

The Communication process can be broken down into its four major aspects: READING WRITING SPEAKING LISTENING

READING LISTENING SPEAKING WRITING Communication Loop

Scoring Personal Listening Inventory SCORING: Subtotal A: Total Number of NO responses to questions 1-16: ______________ (page 1) Subtotal B: Total Number of YES responses to questions 17-32: ___________ (page 2) Grand Total: Subtotal A + Subtotal B. __________ What’s your number???

Personal Listening Inventory Results 0 – 10 Did you read the instructions? Don’t worry; most of us are at this point. 11 – 15 Much better than most, but like us all we still need to learn more. 16 – 20 Not bad; you should do okay in most relationships. 21 – 25 Pretty good; you are in the upper quartile of the world’s best listeners. 26 – 30 We will pay you to teach this listening workshop You are a listening Guru. Give us your secrets.

Solve the Anagram What anagram of the word LISTEN represents a passive state that may or may not indicate listening?

TOP TEN WORST LISTENING BEHAVIORS…

Top Ten Worst Listening Habits ????????

Letterman’s Top 10 Irritating Listening Habits 1. Interrupting the speaker 2. Finishing the speaker’s thoughts. 3. Topping the speaker's story. 4. Showing interest in something other than the conversation. 5. Not looking at the speaker. 6. Not responding to the speaker's requests. 7. Saying, "Yes, but...," 8. Rushing the speaker. 9. Forgetting what was talked about previously. 10. Asking too many questions about details.

WHO would give you your HIGHEST Listening score ? Would it be your significant other? Your co-workers? Your parents/siblings? Your friends? WHO and WHY???

Receptive Body Language “What you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you say.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Listening Breakdowns The Three “P’s” Problem-solving Perception Power

The 10 WORST Habits represent two overarching categories of poor listening: Lack of attention and Double-thinking

People often immediately launch into presenting solutions to people who come to them with problems. Often the first responses are something like: “You ought to…” “Did you try?” “If I were you I would…” “Don’t worry about it…” “She didn’t mean to…”

What does it mean to really listen? STEP ONE Hearing. Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. For example, say you were listening to a report on zebras, and the speaker mentioned that no two are alike. If you can repeat the fact, then you have heard what has been said.

What does it mean to really listen? STEP TWO Understanding. The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way. Let's go back to that report on zebras. When you hear that no two are alike, think about what that might mean. You might think, "Maybe this means that the pattern of stripes is different for each zebra."

What does it mean to really listen? STEP THREE Judging. After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, think about whether it makes sense. Do you believe what you have heard? You might think, "How could the stripes to be different for every zebra? But then again, the fingerprints are different for every person. I think this seems believable."

Why LISTEN??? To avoid saying the wrong thing, being tactless To dissipate strong feelings To learn to accept feelings (yours and others) To generate a feeling of caring To help people start listening to you To increase the other person's confidence in youconfidence To make the other person feel important and recognized To be sure you both are on the same wavelength To be sure you both are focused on the same topic To check that you are both are on target with one another

Value of Listening Skills Listening is a HUGELY underrated skill By improving listening skills a person can radically improve interpersonal relationships with people around him or her.

Remember: TIME is on your side! Thoughts move about four times as fast as speech. With practice, while you are listening you will also be able to think about what you are hearing, really understand it, and give feedback to the speaker.

“Some people change when they see the light, others when they feel the heat.” Caroline Schoeder