Chapter 9 Family Processes, Family Life Cycles

Chapter Outline  A Developmental Approach  Beginning Marriages  Youthful Marriages  Middle-aged Marriages  Later-life Marriages  Death and Dying in America  Enduring Marriages

Eriksons’ Eight Developmental Stages 1. Infancy: Trust Versus Mistrust  Children learn to trust by having their needs satisfied and by being loved. 2. Toddler: Autonomy Versus Shame and Doubt  Children need to develop a sense of independence and mastery over their environment and themselves.

Eriksons’ Eight Developmental Stages 3. Early Childhood: Initiative Versus Guilt –The family must allow the child to develop initiative while directing the child’s energy. 4. School Age: Industry Versus Inferiority –Children begin to learn that their activities pay off and that they can be creative.

Eriksons’ Eight Developmental Stages 5. Adolescence: Identity Versus Role Confusion –Adolescents need to develop goals, a philosophy of life, and a sense of self. 6. Young Adulthood: Intimacy Versus Isolation –A young adult who does not make other intimate connections may be condemned to isolation and loneliness.

Eriksons’ Eight Developmental Stages 7. Adulthood: Generativity Versus Self- Absorption  Individual establishes his or her own family. Failure to be generative may lead to a “what’s-in-it-for me” attitude toward life. 8. Maturity: Integrity Versus Despair  The individual looks back on life to understand its meaning. Those who make a positive judgment have a feeling of wholeness about their lives.

Eight-Stage Family Life Cycle  Stage I: Beginning Families  Stage II: Childbearing Families  Stage III: Families with Preschool Children  Stage IV: Families with Schoolchildren

Eight-Stage Family Life Cycle  Stage V: Families with Adolescents  Stage VI: Families as Launching Centers  Stage VII: Families in the Middle Years  Stage VIII: Aging Families

Premarital Factors For with Marital Success  Background factors –age at marriage, length of courtship, level of education, and childhood  Personality factors  Relationship factors –communication, self-disclosure, and interdependence

Psychological Issues During Engagement  A general uneasiness that comes to the surface when you decide to marry.  Questions about whether you are mature enough to marry.  Regret over what you give up by marrying.

Psychological Issues During Engagement  Worry about whether you’re marrying the right person.  Disagreement over appropriate male/female roles.  Tendency to believe your partner is “perfect” and to become disenchanted when she or he is discovered to be “merely” human.

Psychological Issues During Engagement  Beliefs that the marriage will be blissful and your partner will be entirely understanding.  A understanding of yourself, including your weaknesses as well as your strengths.

Stations of Marriage  Emotional marriage: Experiences associated with falling in love and the intensification of an emotional connection between two people.  Psychic marriage: The change from an autonomous individual to a partner in a couple.  Community marriage: The changes in social relationships and social network.

Stations of Marriage  Legal marriage: The legal relationship that provides a couple with a host of rights and responsibilities.  Economic marriage: The economic changes that a couple experience when they marry.  Coparental marriage: Changes induced by the arrival of children.

Traditional Assumptions About Husband/Wife Responsibilities  The husband is the head of the household.  The husband is responsible for supporting the family.  The wife is responsible for domestic work.  The wife is responsible for child rearing.

Marital Tasks  Establishing marital and family roles.  Providing emotional support for the partner.  Adjusting personal habits.  Negotiating gender roles.  Making sexual adjustments.

Marital Tasks  Establishing family and employment priorities.  Developing communication skills.  Managing budgetary and financial matters.  Establishing kin relationships.  Participating in the larger community.

Marital Conflict for Middle- Aged and Older Couples

Identity Bargaining in Adjusting to Marital Roles  Three-step process: 1. Person must identify with the role. 2. Person must be treated by the other as if he or she fulfills that role. 3. Both people must negotiate changes in each other’s role.

Death  Cultural influences on our perception of death may cause us to respond with denial, exploitation, and romanticization.  The stages of dying are likely to include denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Bereavement  Response to the death of a loved one.  Includes customs and rituals of the grieving process.  Mourning rituals include the funeral service and burial or cremation.  The grieving process varies for different people; experiencing grief is a necessary part of healing.

Four Keys to Long-term Satisfying Marriages 1. Having a spouse who is one’s best friend and whom one likes as a person. 2. Believing in marriage as a long-term commitment and sacred institution. 3. Consensus on such fundamentals as aims and goals and one’s philosophy of life. 4. Shared humor.

Long-term marriages  Three categories: 1.Couples who are happily in love. 2.Unhappy couples who stay together out of habit or fear. 3.Couples who are neither happy nor unhappy.  Approximately 20% of couples are happily in love; the same % as for those who are unhappy.