November Bex Friendship in a Digital Age Are you really my friend? Exploring digital relationships Dr Bex Lewis

Bex Lion Hudson, February ,500+ sold Translated into Chinese/Italian Strongly featured in the media writer/books/book- raising-children-in-a- digital-age/ writer/books/book- raising-children-in-a- digital-age/

“If we want resilient kids we need to understand what young people’s experiences are online, listen to their concerns, and intervene with their best interests in mind.” Jane Tallim, Co-Executive Director, MediaSmarts, Canada, January recommendations Understand! Bex Image Source: Purple Clover, Facebook

Online/Offline? Children interviewed felt... the online world is no more dangerous or exposed than the real world, and some believe that the virtual world is actually more secure and private, because there is more control over what they choose to put onto the Internet. CHILDWISE ‘Digital Lives’ Report (2010) Bex Image Source: Stockfresh

Even though in practice, face-to-face communication can, of course, be angry, negligent, resistant, deceitful and inflexible, somehow it remains the ideal against which mediated communication is judged as flawed. Prof Sonia Livingstone, Children and the Internet: Great Expectations and Challenging Realities. 2009, p26 Bex Image Source: LSE Website

Children’s Friendships Larger numbers than in the past Across diverse and widespread networks Concerns: –Whose friend requests should be accepted? –How many friends is ‘too many’? –What are the offline impacts of refusing connection? –Does everyone have to be given the same level of interaction? Image Source: RGBStock Bex

Meaningful Friendships? “Social media can be used more as an address book, with privacy settings allowing access to different levels of information, while the public parade of connections offers social identity and status.” (Raising Children, p.106) Image Source: Stockfresh Bex

Meeting Strangers? Parents must teach their children to safely negotiate a modern world where many people meet and interact online before meeting in person. A blanket “never meet” rule is just astoundingly silly in an age where the parents of these children themselves may well have met online. ‘Sanya2135’, Comment, Washington Post Image Source: Stockfresh Bex

Digital Savviness? “They monitored friends’ pages to ensure that they were being represented fairly, and trusted each other not to expose silly or embarrassing pictures. Those that were on the phone were considered to be private and not for sharing without agreement, although children should still consider what might happen to those photos if the friendship were to fall apart.” (Raising Children, p.108) Image Source: RGBStock Bex

Disability Access I’m a sufferer of Asperger’s syndrome, and video games may have realistically saved my life. I’ve always had problems talking to people face to face, and was never able to make friends at school. If it weren’t for the relationships I formed online through my first games, I honestly can’t be sure that I would be here today [...] they’re obviously a great pastime, which helps me nurture the better side of my syndrome, thinking and responding logically. As with video gaming, the Internet helped me form relationships that I couldn’t in real life. Children’s Call for Evidence, 2008 Byron Review Image Source: RGBStock Bex

Cyber-Bullying? The Bullied The Bully The Bystander /bullying-for-yc14http:// /bullying-for-yc14 Image Source: RGBStock Bex

Concluding Thoughts Understand digital culture Move away from online/offline Question ‘meaningfulness’ & digital savviness Nature of friendships (longer-term) Authenticity = sustainable? Image Source: Stockfresh Bex